Kyle adds Kip Drordy as a "friend" on Facebook, due to Kip being the only person in South Park not have any friends. This causes all of his old friends to desert him. Kyle's situation is so desperate, he seeks help from Cartman. Meanwhile, Stan literally gets sucked into Facebook after attempting to delete his account with 845,000 "friends".
While at Kyle's house, Cartman mockingly states that he has more Facebook friends than Kyle does, which Kyle is stunned by, as does the fact that Kenny has 62 friends while he only has 37. Stan arrives at Kyle's house, only to cause Stan to tell his friends that he has no interest in Facebook and wants nothing to do with it. Kyle attempts to convince Stan of how great Facebook is by talking about its assorted features like a farming game (based on Farmville) and Yahtzee. However, Stan continues to firmly state he doesn't want a Facebook page. As such he finds himself infuriated to discover that Kyle and Cartman made him one. Cartman advises Stan to get with it or suffer as someone who has no Facebook friends, like a third grader named Kip Drordy. Stan becomes fed up at last and leaves to play Xbox, while Kyle feeling bad for Kip, decides to add him as a friend. Kip, accepting the friend request is over-joyed, and tells his parents all about his new friend's interests and how he wants "the world to stop talking about ninjas."
When Randy discovers Stan's page, he begins to pester Stan by complaining, "So...we're not friends?" causing Stan to add him, if only to shut up his father. Kyle meanwhile rapidly starts to lose friends as a result of adding Kip. When Wendy discovers Stan's Facebook profile, she becomes furious over Stan lying to her about having one, as well as leaving his relationship status "single." While updating his profile, he finds that Cartman has a podcast on Facebook that tells people how to get friends, which friends people should add, and that people should stop being friends with Kyle because Kyle is friends with Kip. As a result, people that are already friends with Kyle de-friend him, only leaving him with 1 friend: Kip. And in the most pathetic manner possible, Kyle begs Stan to add him as his Facebook friend.
Although Kyle is miserable, Kip is overjoyed at having his first and only friend, and apparently views it as something far more. He begins to address Kyle as his best friend, and repeats all of Kyle's Facebook status to his parents, who share his excitement that their son has a friend; however they appear to be unaware that this friend of his is only online.
When Stan doesn't pay attention to his Facebook status, it results in people getting mad at him for ignoring them -- to the point of one even spitting at him. Wendy in particular is enraged because one of his female friends saw pictures of him in a bunny costume, despite the woman being a friend of his grandmother's at 92 years of age. In the meanwhile Randy bullies Stan into adding and checking Grandma Marsh's status more often. Stan eventually amasses over 845,000 friends (without trying), and is infuriated dealing with Facebook. Eventually, his patience runs dry, prompting him to delete his account, only to be stopped by his own computer. Instead, Stan is pulled into Facebook by way of his webcam. He finds himself in a digital world (which bears resemblance to the 1982 film, Tron, where he is unable to talk to people who have either ignored him or requested to be his friend. Stan is enraged having done exactly what he was trying to avoid: being 'sucked into' Facebook (albeit literally).
Meanwhile in the real world, Kyle, eager to get friends, goes to Cartman for help to get more Facebook friends. Cartman seems more than happy to help Kyle (even calling him his friend later on), and suggests that Kyle de-friend Kip. Kyle is reluctant to do so out of guilt for Kip's lack of friends, and so Cartman then tells Kyle about Chat Roulette. Together the pair of them go on Chat Roulette to get friends, but it only shows various men masturbating in front of their webcams.
Back in the digital world of Facebook, Stan is 'arrested' by Facebook avatars, who pit him in battle against another user. However, instead of doing anything 'cool', he ends up having to play Yahtzee with a random person. Stan wins in one throw with Yahtzee causing his opponent to apparently be killed via digital deletion. Stan then escapes the avatar in charge and goes in search of answers.
Meanwhile, after many more hours of searching for friends in Chat Roulette, Cartman finally finds someone who isn't masturbating on Facebook. The person happens to be a Jewish boy who agrees to become Kyle's new Facebook friend. All the while, Kip continues to try and maintain his 'friendship' with Kyle, by taking his computer around with him, such as to the movies, where he laughs obnoxiously and takes photos of himself with his computer.
Kyle, enjoying his new Facebook friend, plays on his Facebook farm and is shocked to see Stan appear. After calling him an asshole, Stan demands that Kyle help him by pulling up his Facebook status. Apparently Stan's Facebook page has taken on a life of its own and is holding an online chat with all his friends. As Stan goes off to figure out what's going on, Kyle discovers that his new Jewish friend from Chat Roulette has removed him from his friends list due to Kyle's friendship with Kip. This forces Kyle to finally decide to remove Kip from his friend's list or else risk being a permanent Facebook outcast. He sends Kip a 'good-bye' message, which causes Kip to return into his state of depression.
Stan finally arrives at the 'chat party' and finds that his profile has become a giant sentient monster of a being and appears to be working without him. Stan's profile then challenges him to a game of Yahtzee in which (again) Stan wins in only one roll. The win results in Stan being returned to the real world, and he immediately deletes his page. Randy is disappointed that Stan is not friends with him and starts whining again in the hopes that Stan will re-friend him. Stan however tells him to fuck off and that his profile went rogue and sent all of his friends somewhere else. Kip, staring blankly at his Facebook, is overjoyed to find that in the blink of an eye, he now has 845,323 friends.