There’s a new kid in school and his parents have opened a restaurant in the recently gentrified part of town. Cartman now considers himself the top on-line restaurant reviewer in South Park.
Randy and Gerald attempt to have dinner at one of the new restaurants called Venatious. They are told they must wait a half hour before they can be seated, but they are seated right away when Gerald reveals that he is a Yelp reviewer. Gerald claims he was secretive about it because he didn't want the restaurant "to kiss his ass too much." Meanwhile, Cartman seems content to abuse his newfound power as a Yelp reviewer, demanding a Mexican restaurant give him free dessert for the possibility of a five star review. At the restaurant, Cartman meets a busboy his age named David pronounced (Dah-veed), who happens to be the son of the restaurant's owner. Two random South Park citizens, who also happen to be Yelp reviewers, enter the restaurant and demand special treatment as well. Cartman instantly shows his disdain for them, thinking only he deserves to be a restaurant critic.
The next day at school, Cartman is shocked to find that David is a new student at South Park Elementary. Immediately, he abuses his Yelp power to make David say he rides a "tiny bicicleta" to school, threatening to make his already-low rating of his father's restaurant even lower. Also, due to his ignorance and xenophobia he nastily refuses to pronounce Dávid's name properly and tries to make him pronounce it without his Spanish accent. Cartman has even decided to order food from restaurants during lunch instead of eating cafeteria food.
Gerald was also taking his new position as a Yelp reviewer very seriously, treating it like a position of deep, profound power and even knowingly neglecting his family to finish it. He writes a fifty page review of Applebee's, lauding it with strong, poetic flattery but giving it a bad review at the very end of his critique over an exceedingly pathetic, shallow and irrelevant reason. Even Sergeant Yates is going overboard with his Yelp reviews, thinking himself more important to the town than ever.
At Whistlin' Willy's, Willy has a meltdown over the numerous Yelp reviewers South Park has bred, and kicks them out of his restaurant as a result. This starts a chain reaction in South Park, as nearly every restaurant in town bans Yelp reviewers and other food bloggers. Cartman becomes fed up with this, as well as the high number of food bloggers in South Park. As a result, he contacts many people he considers a wannabe in order to show them "how it's done." However, the number of people that show up for this meeting far exceed Cartman's expectations, as they take up the whole surrounding block of his house. Cartman rallies them up by stating that they need a clear leader. However, each member of the audience smugly believes themselves to be the one destined to lead the group. This escalates into an attack on Whistlin' Willy's, which results in the mascot being beheaded (his mascot head was taken off). The Yelpers then proceed to attack anybody and destroy any place that does not treat them like vengeful deities. Cartman again becomes feared and powerful in school and free to bully Dávid, much to his immense joy.
David, not afraid of the revolt, publicly calls Cartman out on the news, though non-specifically addresses him as the leader of the Yelp reviewers. He and Kyle meet outside of town, only to find that the entire army of Yelp reviewers is there. Suddenly the entire mob of Yelpers give their own "noble" speeches about their position as South Park's best food reviewer. All of them so ridiculously self-absorbed they had no idea that the others were talking at the same time.
After Kyle realizes that all the Yelpers think they're the leader, he devises a plan with Mayor McDaniels. One by one, the Yelp reviewers are knighted as the "best food critic in South Park," and are given golden badges to distinguish them. South Park restaurants once again allow "food critics," but take up a habit of tainting their food, most commonly by masturbating, defecating and wiping mucus on it as well as rubbing it on their privates. This end sequence is accompanied with a song called "The Yelper Special".