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World War Zimmerman/Script

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  • Stan Marsh
  • Kyle Broflovski
  • Eric Cartman
  • Butters Stotch
  • Token Black
  • Jimmy Valmer
  • Cheerleaders
  • Girls Skipping Rope
  • Herbert Garrison
  • Mr. Mackey
  • Principal Victoria
  • Jimbo Kern
  • Gerry's Family (Gerry, Karin, Rachel, Constance)
  • George's Family (George, Mom, and Daughters)
  • Federal Agents
  • Announcer and reporters
  • Captain and his workers
  • Man and Woman on front lawn
  • Pilot and Copilot
  • Tesla Driver
  • Flight Attendant
  • Passengers
  • Judge
  • Occupant
  • Protester


[South Park Elementary, day, the school halls. Token is at his locker switching books when Cartman comes 'round the corner]
Cartman: Hey Token! [walks up to Token] What's up, bro?
Token: Nothing.
Cartman: "Nothin'" Me neither. Nothin's goin' on. Sucks. [sniffs] Everything good with you?
Token: Yeah.
Cartman: Sweet. [Jimmy walks over and Cartman notices him] Hey Jimmy, what are you doin'?
Jimmy: Uh, I'm just gettin' ready for cla-
Cartman: Yeah, I'm just hangin' out with Token. Did you know that if it wasn't for African-Americans, we wouldn't have Rock & Roll? So cool that we have a black President. [Jimmy walks away and Token is done at his locker] About time. [Stan and Kyle stop to watch]
Stan: Is he doing it again?
Kyle: He's doing it a-gain.
Cartman: Dude, um, what are doing after school, Token? You wanna, you wanna hang out? [Token puts one last book in before closing his locker]
Token: I uhhh, have band practice.
Cartman: God you are sooo cool. Alright bro, I'll catch you at recess. [makes a fist with his left hand and straightens out his arm toward Token] Fist bump. Fist bump, bro. [Token reluctantly makes a fist with his right hand and bumps Cartman's fist with it. He leaves, and Cartman moves on in a happy mood, stopping by Stan and Kyle]
Stan: Cartman, are you feeling alright?
Cartman: Yeah, I feel great. Why? [looks back] You think something's wrong? [moves on, not smiling]
[Herbert Garrison's classroom, later in the day. He's teaching about the French Revolution by way of Les Misérables, on the chalkboard.]
Herbert Garrison: Alright, now the French Revolution was basically started by a young man named Marius. [underlines the name], who only knew Jean Valjean as an older man, and uh- [Cartman interrupts him with a grunt] ...uh, the French government at the time was led by Javert, who was trying to-
Cartman: Mister! [Herbert Garrison turns around] No! Stop, Token, stop! My brains! Stop eating my brains! Brad Pitt! [wakes up violently and looks bewildered. Token is stunned, and Herbert Garrison, with his arms crossed, is not pleased.] Hey Token. What's up, bro? [makes a fist and extends it towards Cartman] Fist bump? [Token is unmoved and upset]
[Moments later, at Mr. Mackey's office...]
Mr. Mackey: Eric, somethin' is clearly wrong, m'kay, and it would be best to jus' get it out in the open.
Cartman: It's Token. I think he's a ticking time bomb.
Mr. Mackey: And why do you think Token is a tickin' time bomb?
Cartman: He's pissed off. Because of something that happened a long time ago but he won't forget.
Mr. Mackey: Do you think he blames you for somethin'?
Cartman: But it wasn't me, it wasn't my fault!
Mr. Mackey: Wull have you, thought about maybe writin' your feelin's down? In a poem? Uh- write a poem and give that to, g-give that to Token?
Cartman: No, it's too gay. It would only make things worse.
Mr. Mackey: Well Eric, you need to do somethin' because you keep losing sleep. M'kay and sleep is very important to your success at school. M'kay?
Cartman: M'kay. Ahah-I'll be m'kay.
Mr. Mackey: M'kay, you sure? Because I'm here when you need me.
Cartman: M'kay.
[Cartman's room, night. He's having nightmares.]
Cartman: No, Token! Leave Brad Pitt alone! Brad Pitt is fighting zombies! No ah Token, Token!
[Cartman's dream, morning. He voices all the characters in it. A family is seated in a breakfast nook in a kitchen. The girls are giggling.]
Karin: [serving pancakes] Eat your breakfast, girls. [turns around to put the pan back on the stove]
Rachel: Where's Daddy?
Karin: You can eat without your father in the room. Now hurry. [the girls giggle

and the older one notices someone]

Rachel: Daddy!
Gerry: Good morning, girls. [walks in fully dressed, with a cup of coffee already in hand.] Save Daddy any pancakes? Look at that? Six A.M. and my family is already smiling. [Karin walks over and kisses him]
Karin: How did I get such a perfect husband?
Gerry: How did I get such a beautiful wife?
Rachel: I love you, Dad.
Gerry: I love you too, Princess. I love both of you, equally.
Karin: Nothing can ever go wrong, so long as we all have each other.
[News report inside the dream. Gerry turns around to see the TV]
Reporter: Today apparently will be the day! CNN has just received word that a verdict in the George Zimmerman trial is expected to come at any moment! Zimmerman is accused of shooting Trayvon Martin, and a jury will now decide his fate.
Constance: Daddy, who is Trayvon Martin?
Gerry: [turns around] Nobody. L-let's just get you girls to school.
[Cartman's dream, downtown, some minutes later. He's on a one-way street with a bunch of other cars all trying to move, but stuck. Somehow, the family remains chipper]
Gerry: Is it bigger than a bread box?
Rachel: What's a bread box, Dad?
Constance: Heehee, Dad is so kewl.
Karin: You can say that again.
Gerry: [getting worried] Why aren't we moving? What's gong on? [turns on the radio to 106.7 FM and Michael Bublé's "It's A Beautiful Day" comes out of the speakers. The family sways along to the beat. A news report comes on the air]
Reporter: We interrupt this cool song for a news bulletin. A verdict has just been handed down in the case of George Zimmerman. In a shocking turn of events, the jury has found George Zimmerman not guilty!
Gerry: Oh my God. [fleeing white people run by his car, quickly overtaken by pissed-off black people]
Reporter: Many African-Americans are outraged by the verdict, and they are most likely about to go totally nanners. [some of them surround the car. One of them punches a window and cracks it, a second cracks the passenger window with his head, a third crawls up on the hood and breaks the windshield with his head, sticking his head inside the car]
Gerry: AAAAAH!
Protester: Fuck you, Brad Pitt!
Gerry: Let's bail! [steps on the gas and runs over a protester, ripping him to shreds. His car runs into another car and the protester on his hood flies off.] Everyone get out of the car! Go! [the family gets out and runs through the rioting crowd. They climb up a fire escape and onto the roof of a building, then look down over the riot. What they see is amazing: African-Americans converge and climb the side of the building in a great mass of humanity. Some of them fall back towards the street, but the mass gets closer and closer to the roof] Oh my god RUN! [they turn left and come face to face with... Token] WAAH! Token. No, Token, we had nothing to do with this. I know you're pissed off, but but be reasonable!
Token: Fuck you, Brad Pitt!
Gerry: No! Nonono! [Token lunges at him] Nooo! [Cartman wakes up, touches himself to make sure he's there, and chuckles nervously]
[South Park Elementary, day, the school halls. Token is at his locker switching books when Cartman comes 'round the corner. This time, he looks beat and walks slowly. He sees Token and walks towards him. He didn't get much sleep, and he sounds it]
Cartman: Hey Token? How are you doing?
Token: I'm good.
Cartman: That's awesome. I'm so stoked that we're best friends. [puts his left fist forward] Fist bump. [leans to his left a little] Fist bump. [Token closes his locker and hurries away]
[Mr. Garrison's classroom, later in the day. Cartman is having nightmares again.]
Cartman: No! My wife, Token! Token, that's my wife!
Token: Okay, really?
Cartman: No Token! Stop beating my daughter! NOOO! [wakes up]
[Mr. Mackey's office, some minutes later.]
Mr. Mackey: Now Eric, whatever it is you and Token are going through, you need to talk through it, m'kay? The problems you two are havin' have become a distraction for everybody else. Agreed?
Cartman: Agreed.
Mr. Mackey: Okay. Token, come on in, please. [the door opens and Token walks in, closing it behind him. Token takes a seat next to Cartman]
Cartman: Hoh boy, here we go.
Mr. Mackey: Token, I've been talkin' with Eric and he's really upset that you two aren't gettin' along. You have some things you wanna say, Eric?
Cartman: [after a few seconds] Token, I wasn't on that jury. Okay?
Token: ...What jury?
Cartman: This grudge that you're holding against an entire group of people should be directed at just a few, not at me.
Mr. Mackey: Okay Token, what are your feelings about that?
Token: [looks at Eric for a few seconds, then answers] I don't know what to say.
Cartman: I wrote a poem. Is it okay if I read my poem? [pulls out his poem and begins] It's called "I Was Not The Bullet." [clears his throat]

I was not the bullet. I was not the gun.
I was not the juror that set the shooter free.
I was not the trigger. I was not the hate.
Nor was I the judge, but still, you judge me?
I was not the black family mourning for the dead.
"Oooo, somebody shot our children. Lordy, what we do now?"
I was not the verdict.

Token: This isn't a poem. It doesn't even rhyme.
Cartman: It's going to rhyme, Token, just hold on.

I was not the shooter. I was not the gun.
So Token, you should be cool while we're all here at school.

[folds his poem up and puts it away.]
Token: Can I go back to class now?
Mr. Mackey: Eric, do you feel better about all this?
Cartman: Yeah, yeah I do. I think we really had a breakthrough here.
Mr. Mackey: Okay, thanks Token. [Token gets up and leaves the office]
Cartman: It's gonna be okay. I think we're all safe now.
[South Park Elementary, day, the gym. The students are assembled there. The cheerleaders take the court. Among them is Lorraine, who has previously been mocked for her clothes]
Cheerleaders: We are Cows, proud and true! Come on, South Park, moo moo moo! Goooo Cows!
Principal Victoria: Ooookay, thank you, cheerleaders. That was very nice. Ahhh, next we have a student who would like to perform an original rap song, [Nicole sits down next to Token] based on his award-winning poem, "I Was Not The Bullet," with backup music by Butters Stotch. [Butters walks up, takes the mic, and starts beatboxing. Cartman walks up and starts rapping]
Cartman (Butters):

Black or white, it's alright. Black or white, let's not fight.
I was not the bullet. I was not the gun.
I was not the jury, so don't blame me, son!
James my man was wrong (It's not our fault). James my man was wrong (It's not Eric's fault).
Black or white, it's alright. Black or white, let's not fight.

White people say Ho-oh!

The kids:



Black people say He-ey! [Token and Nicole stay quiet] Cool. White people say Ho ho! [Token and Nicole begin to get mad]

The kids:

Ho ho!


Black people say Hey hey hey! [no reply] Uh oh, I think the white people are winning! White people got you beat, black people; you'd better represent! Let me hear you say "I don't blame the white people. No no no!"

Token: [stands up in defiance] Alright, that's enough! [Butters stops and looks, then gets dismayed] You think I should feel bad for you because of the Trayvon Martin verdict?!
Cartman: Token, calm down.
Token: What the hell is wrong with you?! Why are you all here listening to this?!
Cartman: Oh God here it comes! Get down everybody! Get down now! [throws his mic down and runs off]
[The neighborhood. Cartman runs into view, rounds the corner and runs towards home]
Cartman: Clear the streets! Everyone clear the streets! We've gotta get the fuck out of here! [runs inside his house] Mom it's starting! We've gotta go! [runs up to his room and opens a drawer. He rifles through it looking for something] Come on, come on! [finds a red safety box with "BRAD PITT SURVIVAL GEAR" printed on the lid and on the panel under the clasp. He opens it and pulls out a gun and a Brad Pitt costume. He puts the costume on, takes the gun, and runs out into the street] Come on, we've gotta move! It's spreading! Let's go! [nearby, a couple is on their front lawn. The man is trimming bushes while his wife is shoveling snow by the front door.]
Woman: Does that little boy have a gun?
Man: Get inside. [drops his shears and heads for the door]
Woman: But-
Man: Get inside! [they both go inside. Cartman crosses the stret and a car almost runs him over, but he sidesteps the car and holds his gun out. The car stops and he gets inside]
Cartman: [frantically] Driiive! You've gotta driiive! Nooow!
Driver: What's going on?!
Cartman: Get to an airport!
Driver: An airport?! But...?
Cartman: We've got about ten minutes before this entire country is up in flames! If you wanna live, you'd better step on the gas! Oh wait, is this a Tesla? Shit! Well press on the prissy pedal! We're gonna die!! [she presses the pedal and takes off]
[The airport, later.]
Announcer: Now calling rows 10 through 30 for boarding.
Cartman: The outbreak has started! We've gotta get the fuck out of here! [enters the tunnel]
Passenger 1: An outbreak? [covers his mouth with his sweater]
Passenger 2: Which one?
Cartman: Get on the flight! Let's move! Let's go go go go! [the driver rushes into the plane. Three black security guards appear] Oh my God! [closes the plane's door and locks it. The guards try to get in, but Cartman holds the handle down with all his might]
Pilot: My God, what's going on out there?
Cartman: The outbreak's starting! Fly the plane now! [the plane takes off moments later]
[The airplane, now in the air and safe to walk around in]
Copilot: Maybe now you can tell us what the hell is going on?!
Cartman: The e-... The end of the world? We've got one shot and one shot only and that's to find a place where the contagion won't reach us!
Passenger 3: What contagion? My wife didn't get on the plane. [to the copilot] Take this plane back to Denver!
Cartman: You don't understand. There's no Denver left to go back to! [the passengers all take their seats.]
[The control tower. Everyone there is running around trying to figure out how a plane got off without authorization]
Captain: Alright what the hell is going on here?!
Worker 1: We don't know anything. First there was talk of a hijacking, then reports of an outbreak of some kind.
Worker 2: Confirmed report of panic in a rural town in the Colorado Rockies!
Worker 3: Sir, the pilot of flight 82 wants an update. They're asking permission to land.
Captain: Stall them. I don't want that plane landing anywhere until we know what the hell we're dealing with!
Worker 4: [walks up with a book] Sir, you'd better look at this. This was found in the airport lavatory. It seems to be a survival guide of some kind.
Captain: Survival of what?
Worker 4: From the looks of it, a contagion outbreak of the worst kind. [the book shows a page of black zombies attacking everyone else]
Captain: Oh my God.
Pilot: DA43 to tower, please advise! [hangs up the mic] Damnit! They aren't telling me anything!
Copilot: Do you think it's a virus?
Pilot: Virus, bacteria, either way we're all dead! Find out if he thinks it's safe to land in Los Angeles.
Copilot: What about Los Angeles? Can we take the plane to Los Angeles?
Cartman: Not a chance. By now most of the urban cities will be compromised. This whole things from city to city. We need to go somewhere the trend won't take hold. Like Iceland. [points to the island on a map.]
Copilot: This plane won't make it to Iceland!
Passenger 3: You got a better idea, asshole?!
Cartman: Everyone quiet! I have to think!
Driver: Yes, let him think!
Cartman: I can't think here. I need a magazine and a toilet. [heads off to the restroom. He sees the "vacant" sign and opens the door, only to see a black man on the toilet]
Occupant: Oh, I'm just finishing up.
Cartman: Nah! [shuts the door and jumps back, then throws everything he can at the door so the occupant can't exit]
Occupant: Hey!
Cartman: [running back to his seat] One of them is in the back!
Driver: What?!
Passenger 3: What do you mean?!
Copilot: Everyone just calm down! We have to stay in control! [the occupant is still trying to get out, and everyone on the plane faces the lavatory door. The occupant begins to grunt and growl]
Passenger 4: [at one of the doors] I won't become one of them! [forces it open. It rips away, and he flies out. Other things fly out behind them. The other passengers and crew hang on for dear life. The occupant finally exits the lavatory]
Copilot: Shoot it! [instead of waiting for Cartman to shoot the occupant, he takes Cartman's gun and shoots him. The occupant ducks and the bullet ricochets a few times. It hits the ceiling, which causes an explosion.]
[South Park Elementary playground, day. Butters is skipping rope with a bunch of girls while Stan and Kyle play catch the football with some other guys]
Girls: Engine engine #9 running down Chicago Line, if the train should jump the track do you want your money back? [the plane appears and only Stan notices it falling to its doom]
Butters: Yes.
Girls: Y-E-S spells yes- [the plane hits a mountain top, then breaks apart as it goes down the mountain.]
[Mr. Mackey's office, some time later]
Mr. Mackey: Now, Token, what you need to understand, m'kay, is that a school assembly is not the time and the place to be yellin' and causin' distractions. M'kay? If there's somebody causin' you problems, then we don't disrupt the assembly, m'kay. You come and you talk to me.
Token: He's just out looking for trouble.
Mr. Mackey: Well that's your side of it, Token, but you know Eric has his side as well. Have you thought about maybe writin' him a poem? M'kay? Write E- write Eric a poem, tell him how you feel. [smoke from the plane crash rises behind the mountains] You know, m'kay? Well I'm tellin' you, Token, you let it go, and he'll let it go, and it'll all be fine. Can ya?
[The crash site. Cartman comes to and leaves the wreckage. The driver is nearby, and she's calling someone]
Driver: No, the plane crashed. We're in the Colorado mountains somewhere. [the call drops] Matt? Matt?! [notices Cartman and walks up to him to explain] My husband. He said the outbreak was all over the news, but everything was totally fine where he was.
Cartman: Totally fine? Then it hasn't happened yet. Oh my God, we still have time!
Pilot: [barely alive] Help! Help me! [Cartman runs up to him] Please, I have two little girls in Chicago. Please find them!
Cartman: It's okay. We have reason to believe it hasn't spread yet.
Pilot: Then you have to stop it.
Driver: Yes!
Pilot: And there must be... a Patient Zero... The person it all starts from.
Cartman: His name is Token.
Driver: We have to kill him, before he infects everyone else!
Cartman: I won't do it! He used to be my friend!
Pilot: You have to! You have to be strong. If you can stop this- if you can save the world- then you have to do it. [coughs up blood] Promise me! Promise... me!
Cartman: [sighs] Alright. I promise. I won't let the black people riot and destroy the world.
Pilot: Thank you-wait, what? [sits up, but dies a few seconds later]
Driver: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Cartman: We're gonna live through this! Do you hear me?!
Driver: Yes!
Cartman: [takes her hand] Come on! [they leave the crash site]
[Butters' house, day. He's watching TV from the sofa]
Reporter: First, a wave of 911 calls about a virus, and now a plane has apparently gone down in the Colorado Rocky Mountains. Is this the beginning of the end?
Butters: Oh boy! Zombie apocalypse!
Reporter: The government is looking for a Patient Zero, going only off of this sketch which was found in a notebook at the airport.

[Butters suddenly recognizes the person in the picture] Anyone with information regarding Patient Zero is asked to contact the authorities immediately.

Butters: Holy Moly.
[Jimbo's Guns, day. Cartman and the Tesla driver reach it and go inside. Cartamn closes the door]
Jimbo: Can I help you?
Cartman: Stay by the window! Tell me if anything changes! [walks up to the counter] I need something that can shoot with complete accuracy from a distance.
Jimbo: Alright, you want a rifle! [turns around and takes a rifle from the wall, then turns back and hands it to Cartman] well, like this .22 caliber. [Cartman looks it over, and Jimbo puts his hand on his hip] What is it you intend to shoot?
Cartman: A person. [the driver looks around]
Jimbo: ...You mean a person who's threatening you?
Cartman: Threatening all of us!
Driver: Please, please hurry! It's important!
Jimbo: Well, you should be fine so long as the person breaks into your house and is an immediate threat to you.
Cartman: What?! How am I supposed to get a person to break into my house?!
Jimbo: You can't shoot someone who threatens you just out on the street. Well unless of course you're in a state that has a "stand your ground" law.
Cartman: Stand my ground?
Driver: Please! We're running out of time!
Jimbo: See now with a "stand your ground" law, you could legally shoot somebody that's threatening you whether they're in your house or not.
Cartman: Yes yes, that's what I need! I'll take that!
Jimbo: No, no, see, you've gotta be IN a state with a "stand your ground" law, like Florida.
Cartman: [walks away from the counter] This is hopeless. How am I supposed to shoot Token with all these stupid rules?! [his eyes light up] Wait a minute. I can't shoot Token, [turns around] but I can shoot anyone I want in Florida?
Jimbo: So long as they're threatening you.
Driver: What?! What is it, please?! Hurry, my husband might still be alive!
Cartman: The other way to stop the outbreak. Token isn't the only Patient Zero. The outbreak won't happen if... we shoot George Zimmerman. We have to get to Florida!
[Cartman and the driver are back at Denver Airport, and the sequence of events from the first plane crash repeat themselves here: Cartman and the driver run into the airplane]
Cartman: Let's go, let's go! Let's move move move move! Let's go!
[the plane takes off. Once in the air...] Find the closest airport in Florida! [injects himself with something]
Flight Attendant: This plane is going to Baltimore.
Cartman: If we don't get to Florida there's not going to be a Baltimore left! [everyone sits down] Black guy in the back! [the plane crashes into the Everglades. Cartman and the driver make it out of the wreckage] Alight, now let's find Zimmerman.
[Florida, evening. A weather-beaten yellow truck crashes into a state sign. Cartman and the driver get out and meet behind the truck bed. Cartman opens up his bag.]
Cartman: Put this on. We have to stay hidden from here out. [hands her a black sweater, which she puts on as she walks onto the roadway]
Driver: What are we going to do?
Cartman: I'm going to flush out Patient Zero. And you're gonna shoot him. It's the only way.
Driver: What if he attacks us first?
Cartman: Don't worry, nobody can see us wearing black.
Driver: I haven't had the time to thank you, for doing what you've d- [a Moov-It truck slams into her and carries her body away. Cartman is confused]
[Florida, day. The camera pans down and lands on the Zimmerman residence. A family is seated in the breakfast nook in the kitchen. The girls are giggling.]
Mom: [serving pancakes] Eat your breakfast, girls. [turns around to put the pan back on the stove]
Older Daughter: Where's Daddy?
Mom: You can eat without your father in the room. Now hurry. [the girls giggle and the older one notices someone]
Older Daughter: Daddy!
George Zimmerman: Good morning, girls. [walks in fully dressed, with a cup of coffee already in hand.] Save Daddy any pancakes? Look at that? Six A.M. and my family is already smiling. [Mom walks over and kisses him]
Mom: How did I get such a perfect husband, Geroge Zimmerman?
George Zimmerman: And how did I get such a beautiful wife?
Older Daughter: I love you, Dad.
George Zimmerman: I love you too, Princess. I love both of you, equally.
Mom: Nothing can ever go wrong, so long as we all have each other.
Reporter: [on TV] Is there any hope for stopping the zombie apocalypse? [George Zimmerman turns around to see the news] CNN has just received word that the government has learned the identity of Patient Zero. [the drawing of Token is shown] The nine year old threat to humanity has been tracked down, and measures are being taken to stop him.
Younger Daughter: Daddy, what's a Patient Zero? [a knock is heard at the front door. George Zimmerman turns left and walks to the front door. He opens it and two federal agents face him]
Agent 1: Hello, Mr. Zimmerman. Your country needs you.
George Zimmerman: What do you need from me?
Agent 1: We... [holds up a photo of Token] need you to shoot a young African-American for us.
George Zimmerman: [turns and walks away] I gave that up.
Agent 2: You're the best, Zimmerman. We just need you to do it one more time, for the security of the world!
George Zimmerman: Damnit, I have a wife and kids now.
Agent 1: Then do it for your family! [Cartman appears on the sidewalk, wearing black face paint and a black sweater] This is about protecting people, Zimmerman! Keeping our streets safe so that our children are free to go out... [his voice trails off as Zimmerman focuses on something else]
George Zimmerman: Something's wrong. [quickly turns around and sees the stranger] Look out! [grabs the gun from one of the agent and fires it twice. Cartman's arm gets hit by a bullet and he falls to the ground]
Agent 1: My God, I didn't even see him. [the other agent walks over to the body]
Agent 2: Nice work, Zimmerman. [George turns and walks over to his family]
George Zimmerman: Are you guys okay?
Older Daughter: What was that, Daddy?
George Zimmerman: More needless violence.
Agent 1: Nonsense, you did what you had to. You're a hero.
George Zimmerman: That may be true, but I'll have to live with this the rest of my life. Even though I'll be walking around a free man.
Agent 2: [notices the paint coming off Cartman's face] Hey, wait a minute. This kid isn't black, he's white.
George Zimmerman: Wait, what?
[A courtroom. This is a speedy trial. The judge announces his decision with two blows of the gavel]
Judge: Guilty!
[The electic chair. George Zimmerman is tied down to it and the operator brings the switch down for three seconds, then raises it. He lowers it again for two seconds and raises it. Then he does this three times more for a fraction of a second each, then a final time for half a second.]
[A news report]
Reporter: The zombie apocalypse... is over. All the panic, crashing planes and chaos appear to have, for some reason, died with George Zimmerman. And as for the little boy who was so mercilessly gunned down? [a picture of Cartman smiling appears, his left shoulder in a bandage, his right hand giving a thumbs up] Although he survived the shooting, his wishes are to remain anonymous, giving the hospital only the nickname... "Brad Pitt." ...But cooler.
[At one of the boys' homes. Eight of them are sitting around watching the news: Clyde, Kyle, Stan, and Craig on the sofa; Jimmy, Kenny and Butters in front of Clyde, and Token sitting by himself near Craig.]
Stan: That sure wasn't much of a zombie apocalypse.
Kyle: Yeah, that sucked.
Butters: Well, at least I'll bet Token's glad it's over with. Aren't you, Token? [Token just stands up, looks at the other guys, and walks out. Butters' smile fades]
[On the street, day. Cartman is in the distance, looking at Token. Token notices and faces him]
Cartman: Hey Token. ...Sup bro? ...How's it goin' dude? I know how it feels now.
Token: You made everyone think I'm a fucking Patient Zero!
Cartman: Dude, I'm saying I'm sorry.
Token: So what?!
Cartman: Uh oh. [brings forth a can of red spray paint and paints a red circle around himself in the middle of the street] Sounds like you're still angry, Token.
Token: Fuck you!
Cartman: Alright Token, come on! This is ridiculous. I know you totally wanna kick my ass right now. You'd like to walk right up and punch me in the face, but what's that gonna solve? I've got a way better idea. [makes a fist with his right hand and puts it forth] First bump? [Token stays put] Come on dude, fist bump. Bump that shit bro. Be the bigger person. [Token walks up to the red circle, then bends forward and offers his left fist. Then he steps into the circle and Cartman quickly shoots him]
Token: Oh! [falls on his face]
Cartman: That was, he was on my ground. You all saw that, right? Everything inside the red line is mine. [drags Token's body into the circle] Inside the red line is, that's- that's my ground. He was on it. [smiles when no one answers.]
[Cartman's dream, day. He's sailing off in his Brad Pitt costume, with his dream family looking on from shore.]
Gerry's Daughters: Daddy!
Gerry: What's up girls? Daddy did it!
[Mr. Garrison's class, day. Token is absent. Cartman wakes up screaming... during class. Mr. Garrison crosses his arms again]
Cartman: Ugh! Oh man. The ending to that movie was so terrible.
Kyle: You're having nightmares about the ending to World War Z again?
Cartman: Yeah. So bad.
Kyle: That's what bothering you? Not the fact that you're a murderer?
Cartman: Jury found me innocent, Kyle!
Kyle: You're a murderer.
Cartman: You interrupt people when they talk.
Mr. Mackey: [over the PA system] Eric Cartman to the counselor's office please.
Cartman: Oh man! [walks out of the room]
[Mr. Mackey's office, moments later. Cartman walks in. Token and Cartman immediately notice each other]
Cartman: Oh boy.
Mr. Mackey: Have a seat, Eric. Now boys, I for one am sick and tired of this little feud you're having, okay? This has clearly gone too far, and you owe each other an apology or you're gettin' detention!
Token: An apology?! He shot me!
Mr. Mackey: Well he was technically standing his ground, Token.
Cartman: Yeah Token, that's the law! Everything inside the red line is lava.
Token: [stands on his chair] Well it's a pretty fucking stupid law!
Cartman: Token, calm down.
Token: And why does standing your ground not apply to fucking white people?!
Cartman: Oh God, here we go again! [runs out of the office in a panic]
[The sky, day. A plane falls, its left engine on fire. End of World War Zimmerman.]

  1703: "World War Zimmerman" edit
Story Elements

George Zimmerman • "I Was Not the Bullet" • "It's a Beautiful Day" • Tesla Driver


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South Park: The Complete Seventeenth Season

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