South Park Archives

Wizard Alien

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The Wizard Alien was a character in the season fourteen episode, "Sexual Healing".


In trying to find the 'reason' for various rich famous celebrities cheating on their wives, the government finds the 'virus' for sexual addiction comes from an 'alien wizard' who's hiding in Independence Hall. While President Obama and his strike force claim the 'alien' must be invisible since he's not there, one of the soldiers finally breaks and asks all the other men to just admit that the whole idea is just an excuse to justify their own actions. The soldier is then captured by his fellow soldiers and dressed up in a poorly made wizard alien costume.

Meanwhile, Kyle and Butters are selected to help the task force to kill the wizard alien. Giving them guns and releasing the soldier in the costume, the President, scientist, and soldiers use a strobe light to convince Kyle and Butters to shoot the soldier several times until they finally kill him. This is then used as the excuse for all the alien's "victims" to act as though they are "cured".


In costume, he appears as an over-sized alien wearing a wizard's hat and beard, with human legs. Out of costume, he appears in a bulletproof vest and gray camouflage. He also wears knee guards and an earpiece on his right ear.


He appears to be intelligent, not falling for Barack Obama's scheme mentioned above. Unfortunately, this intelligence is what got him killed.

He seemed to be simply following along with his squadron at first, though, when it was falsely theorized that a "wizard alien" was supposed to be behind the sex addiction, the soldier spoke out and gave a remarkably coherent, appropriate explanation about the nature of men in the world and that sex is simply something that all males strive for to be top dog.

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