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"Wendy's Audition Song" was a song written and performed by Wendy Testaburger in the Season Four episode, "Something You Can Do with Your Finger".

Background[]

Wendy auditions for part of the fifth member of the boy band, Fingerbang. Eric Cartman protests it, however, Kyle Broflovski and Stan Marsh override him, thus letting her sing.

Wendy was accepted into the group because of the song she performed; which is a more explicit version of the schoolyard song "Miss Susie". A boy that resembles Schroeder from the Peanuts comic strip supplies the music accompaniment for her audition.

Lyrics[]

Mrs. Landers was a health nut.
She cooked food in a wok.
Mr. Harris was her boyfriend,
and he had a great big-

Cock-a-doodle-doodle.
The rooster just won't quit,
and I don't want my breakfast,
because it tastes like-

Shih Tzus make good house pets.
They're cuddly and sweet.
Monkeys aren't good to have,
'cause they like to beat their-

Meeting in the office.
A meeting in the hall.
The boss, he wants to see you,
so you can suck his-

Balzac was a writer.
He lived with Allen Funt.
Mrs. Roberts didn't like him,
but that's 'cause she's a-

Contaminated water,
can really make you sick.
Your bladder gets infected,
and blood comes out your-

Dictate what I'm saying,
'cause it will bring you luck,
and if you all don't like it,
I don't give a flying fuck! [1]

Trivia[]

  • This song is a parody of the playground song, "Miss Susie Had a Steamboat" as well as "The Assumption Song".

International Lyrics[]

German lyrics Translation

Miiis-suuus Landers mag Gesundes. Sie kochte eine Gans.
Mr. Harris war ihr Liebster - und der hat 'nen großen
Schwanzbewehrten Hamster, der ist total auf Zack.
Und ich mag heut' kein Frühstück, es schmeckt genau wie
Kakerlaken wandern in einem Gänsemarsch.
Affen kann man schlecht erzieh'n, denn sie zeigen ihren
Archeologen spielen mit Steinen Tag für Tag.
Und ihre Sekretärin lutscht gerne ihren
Sag, kennst du den Shakespeare? Er machte Frauen nervös.
Mrs. Roberts sah das gerne und kratzte ihre
Möhsentaler Beine, die meide besser ganz.
Sie geh'n voll auf die Blase und Blut läuft aus dem
Schwanz und Hasenpfote, die gibt es dünn und dick.
Ich bin jetzt durch und freu mich schon amf einen schönen Fick!

Mrs. Landers likes healthy food. She cooked a goose.
Mr. Harris was her lover, and he had a huge...[note 1]
Tail-armed hamster that's totally on the ball.
And I don't like breakfast today, it tastes like...[note 2]
Cockroaches travel in a single file.
Monkeys are difficult to train because they show their...[note 3]
Archeologists play with stones every day.
And her secretary likes to suck her...
Say, do you know Shakespeare? He makes women nervous.
Mrs. Roberts was happy to see this and scratched her...[note 4]
<>, it's better to avoid them altogether.
They hit your bladder and blood runs out of...[note 1]
Tail and hare's foot, they are thin and thick.
I'm done now and I'm looking forward to a nice fuck!

Japanese lyrics Romanized lyrics Translation

ミセス・ランダースはとても料理が好き
ミスタ・ハリスは彼氏ででっかい
コックさんはシェフごはんつくる
でも食べたくないその味は
下呂温泉良いところよ
おサルも入りに来てお
何ーしてるの会議室で
部長が呼んで社内不
淋病は痛いと言うけれど
私は知らないついてないから
チンチンができるウチの子犬
毎晩ママはあそこに
バターバタした歌だけれど
あなたに幸せを運びマン◯

Misesu randāsu wa totemo ryōri ga suki
Misuta Harisu wa kareshi de dekkai
Kokku-san wa shefu gohan tsukuru
De mo tabetakunai sono aji wa
Gero onsen yoi tokoro yo
O saru mo hairi ni kite o
nani shiteru no, kaigijitsu de
Buchō ga yonde shanai fu
Rinbyō wa itai to iukeredo
Watashi wa shiranai tsuitenaikara
Chinchin ga dekiru uchi no koinu
Maiban mama wa asoko ni
Batābata shita utadakeredo
Anata ni shiawase o hakobi man

Mrs. Landers loves cooking very much.
Mr. Harris was her boyfriend with a huge...
(The) cook prepares the chef's meal
But I don't want to eat it, it tastes like...[note 5]
Gero onsen is a good place
Even the monkeys came to...[note 6]
What are you doing in the meeting room?
The manager called me...[note 7]
Gonorrhea is painful they say, but
I don't know that, it's not on my...[note 8]
Puppy can do chinchin[note 9]
Every night, mom goes down with...[note 10]
Even if this is a quick song
(I) bring happiness to your...

Mandarin Chinese lyrics Romanized lyrics Translation

王太太說他很寂寞,想買個小老公
王先生她非常生氣,想謀殺他老婆
他又殺又砍,還學人放炸彈
沒有炸死王太太,被條子抓去關
再說到小助,打架詐欺最棒
一眼看了不爽,他就詐到你脫肛
還有個小方,整天都在上網
破解密碼最快,你根本無法防
還有個三嫂,她專門做應召
走起路來阿娜多姿,功夫也一級棒
這是個好社區,什麼都不缺乏
人人相親相愛,警衛有十二打
勸你快搬來,和大家參一卡
學會那求生技能,你將來就變老大

Wáng tài tài shuō tā hěn jìmò, xiǎng mǎi gè xiǎo lǎo gōng
Wáng xiān shēng tā fēi cháng shēng qì, xiǎng móu shā tā lǎo pó
Tā yòu shā yòu kǎn, hái xué rén fàng zhà dàn
Méi yǒu zhà sǐ wáng tài tài, bèi tiáo zi zhuā qù guān
Zài shuō dào xiǎo zhù, dǎ jià zhà dǔ zuì bàng
Yī yǎn kàn liǎo bù shuǎng, tā jiù zhà dào nǐ tuō gāng
Hái yǒu gè xiǎo fāng, zhěng tiān dū zài shàng wǎng
Pò jiě mì mǎ zuì kuài, nǐ gēn běn wú fǎ fáng
Hái yǒu gè sān sǎo, tā zhuān mén zuò yìng zhāo
Zǒu qǐ lù lái ā nà duō zī, gōng fū yě yī jí bàng
Zhè shì gè hǎo shè qū, shén me dōu bù quē fá
Rén rén xiāng qīn xiāng ài, jǐng wèi yǒu shí èr dǎ
Quàn nǐ kuài bān lái, hé dà jiā cān yī kǎ
Xué huì nà qiú shēng jì néng, nǐ jiāng lái jiù biàn lǎo dà

German lyrics Translation

Señora Landers come sano, cocina caliente
Y Harris es su novio, y tiene un gran pene
La pasta rica, la pasta está muy bien
Pues no la desayuno, tiene sabor a miel
Es dulcecita, melosa si señor
Y no huele tan rico, como mi gran mojón
A mí me llamaba, cuando pequeña fui
Pues no tengo paraguas, me mojo el pistol
El pistolero monta su caballo,
Y a mi mami no le gusta por que es un pende
Joven, él es un chico que quiere a su mamá
Un chico que no llora, no acaba de mamar
Es el chfrio, y honra trabajar
Si a ustedes no les gusta, al carajo se van.

Notes[]

  1. 1.0 1.1 Meant to sound like Schwanz ("dick")
  2. Meant to sound like Kacken ("shit")
  3. Meant to sound like Arsch ("ass")
  4. Meant to sound like Muschi ("pussy")
  5. Meant to sound like 味はゲロ (Aji wa gero, "Tastes like vomit")
  6. Meant to sound like おなら (Onara, "to fart")
  7. Meant to sound like 不倫者 (Furinsha, "Adulterer")
  8. Meant to sound like ついてないからちんぽ (Tsuitenaikara chinpo, "it's not on my dick")
  9. A dog trick of standing on its hind legs
  10. Meant to sound like バター犬 (Batā inu, lit. "Butter dog"), refers to an act of female masturbation by means of licking one's genitals.

References[]


Songs from Season Four
Annen Polka | Bu Bu Budio | Con te partirò | Dance of the Clogs | Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy | Democracy in Cuba | Der Hölle Rache | Don't Die On Us | Even A Miracle Needs A Hand | Fingerbang | Hukilau | I Can't Wait Until I Grow Up | I Don't Want to Wait | I Walk Hand in Hand with Jesus | If You're Happy and You Know It | Itsy Bitsy Spider | La donna è mobile | Little Bunny Foo Foo | Non più andrai | Old Time Rock and Roll | Page d'écriture | Silent Night | Spilled Blood on the Footsteps of My Mind (Revisited) | Circle of Poo | The Four Seasons: Spring | The Miracle Worker | The Prostitute Song | Third Grade Memories | Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld | Welcome to This World | Wendy's Audition Song | You Got It, Girl | You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine

See also: List of Songs | List of Minor Characters from Season Four | Season Four

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