"Trapped in the Closet" is the twelfth episode of Season Nine, and the 137th overall episode of South Park. It aired on November 16, 2005 . This episode became controversial due to its portrayal of Scientology in the episode, in particular in its treatment of famous Scientologist Tom Cruise. The episode was also the main cause of Isaac Hayes quitting his role as Chef. This episode made #10 on the list of the 10 South Park Episodes That Changed the World.
Stan, trying to find something "fun to do", does the exact opposite of that and takes a Scientology personality "quiz", the Scientologists later try to convince him he is to be their new leader. Tom Cruise goes into Stan's closet and refuses to come out, and even denies the fact that he's in the closet. Even R. Kelly's desperate pleas won't convince Tom Cruise to come on out. Meanwhile, Stan's involvement in Scientology puts a strain on his friendship with Kyle.
When Stan doesn't go with the rest of his friends to play video games, attempting to save up money for a new bike, he runs across some Scientologists, who encourage him to take a free personality test. Stan starts to question whether Scientology is a "religion," which the auditors try to avoid. The auditor, after asking Stan a series of questions, makes the assessment that Stan is "one messed up kid."
Stan, depressed at dinner, asks his parents for the money to go through auditing, telling his parents that he was depressed and didn't know it. Randy tells him to use his bike money if he wants the auditing so bad.
After Stan goes through his auditing session, the auditor gives his results to his boss, who sends them to the home office. The president of Scientology concludes that Stan is the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard.
The president of Scientology visits Stan's home, and tells his family the news. Randy sends Stan up to his room while he talks with the Scientology people. When Stan goes to his room, he encounters Tom Cruise, who asks him what he thought of his movies. Stan said he thought they were okay, but hints that he thinks the Napoleon Dynamite guy was a better actor. Cruise gets upset and locks himself in Stan's closet, resulting in the running joke of "Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!"
The president of Scientology tells Stan that he will tell him the secrets of Scientology, which he kicks Stan's family out of the room so they will not hear. He then tells him the Xenu story (which is played out on the screen with the words "This is what Scientologists Actually Believe" on the bottom of the screen). The president of Scientology tells Stan that his job is to write new doctrine for the church, and when Stan tells him he did not know how to do it, the president tells Stan that Hubbard did not know either.
As he is writing, the whole town has gotten involved in trying to get Tom Cruise out of the closet. John Travolta, another famous Scientologist, is called in, but he also ends up in the closet with Cruise. During the newscast R. Kelly (singing like he did in "Trapped in the Closet") randomly sings then pulls out his gun. Nicole Kidman is brought in to try to coax him out of the closet, to no avail. R. Kelly is also called in, but also finds himself in the closet as well.
As Stan is writing the documents, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman pay Stan a visit at home. Kyle tries to talk to Stan about the truth of Hubbard, but Stan will not listen.
Stan presents his new levels to the president, telling him what is in them. When he says that Scientologists should not have to pay for services anymore, the president talks to him inside and tells him the truth -- Scientology is a big scam. And he tells Stan that he can't tell anyone that it is.
When Stan tries to read his documents to the followers outside, he can't do it, and proceeds to tell everyone that it is a big scam. This gets all the Scientologists angry with him, and the president tells him that he will sue Stan for saying that their religion is a scam. In the meantime, Cruise, Travolta and R. Kelly have come out of the closet, and Cruise tells Stan, "I'll sue you in England!" Stan proceeds to shout after them, "Go ahead! Sue me! I dare you!"
The credits roll, with everyone named as "John Smith" or "Jane Smith."