While Mr. Garrison deserts the class for a visit to Tom's Rhinoplasty, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman all compete for the attention of Ms. Ellen, the new substitute teacher.
In this episode, Wendy awaits as an opportunity to spend time with her boyfriend, Stan. However, when their teacher Mr. Garrison goes to get a rhinoplasty, a new substitute named Ms. Ellen comes, and all the boys in class find themselves inexplicably enamored with her, including Stan, making Wendy incredibly jealous.
Mr. Garrison's nose job works out well, and he soon finds himself the most attractive man in South Park (looking like David Hasselhoff). This in mind, he decides to quit teaching and spend his time "hanging out and screwing hot chicks." Ms. Ellen is hired as the class' permanent teacher. The boys by this time are actively trying to court her, but Chef (having beaten them in their attempts of courtship) warns them she is a lesbian. With even the knowledgeable Kenny unsure what that is, coupled with Chef's unwillingness to elaborate, the boys try to become lesbians themselves, in order to win Ms. Ellen's heart.
Wendy's attempts to ruin Ms. Ellen or make herself more noticeable to Stan all fail. But then, inexplicably, a bunch of Iraqi men burst into the classroom during a session, and declare that Ms. Ellen is actually an Iraqi fugitive; they take her into custody and shoot her into the center of the sun via a rocket. Concurrently, a large group of women rampages the streets in search for Mr. Garrison. Mr. Garrison, frightened by all the attention and horny women, decides to return to his normal looks. Wendy is therefore able to reclaim Stan as her boyfriend.
At the end of the episode, as Kyle is questioning the unusual end of Ms. Ellen, Wendy speaks with the Iraqi men in fluent Arabic and pays them with a huge amount of American money. She also thanks Mrs. Kimball (one of the women from the group of women that chased Garrison) for helping her. Wendy, slightly deranged, admits she was behind the plot. She pulls out a cardboard box with a hole in the middle; she stares up into the sky and looks directly at the sun as Ms. Ellen finally evaporates into flames. Kyle is shocked to find this out, but Wendy just puts the box down, smiles, and says, "I told her: DON'T FUCK WITH WENDY TESTABURGER!", making Kyle shocked and confused.