When restaurant owners started to realize that the opinions of Yelpers were meaningless because everyone of them thought they were the leader, they decided to stop serving yelpers with complete respect and every time a yelper came into their restaurant they'd do something horrible to their food without them even noticing. The two most popular things would be smearing their boogers on it, and ejaculating on it. At the end of the episode, a montage of all of the food defacing played, while an unnamed background singer would sing a song about it.
So you're one of the yelpers special blessed,
You demand a restaurants' very best.
Well they're gonna treat you special,
I'm telling you chum.
Now get yourself ready for some boogers and cum.
Boogers and cum, that's called the Yelper special.
Boogers and cum, say what's that on your pretzel?
Your online critiques are real useful to some,
Now have a good time eating boogers and cum.
Boogers and cum, someone farted on your salad?
Boogers and cum, but your decor critiques are valid.
You think you're special like you're number one,
Well there's a whole lot of special in boogers and cum.
Boogers and cum, how 'bout some feces with your flounder?
Boogers and cum, you like that queefy quarter pounder?
[yelper] What's that spice that feels tangy on my tongue?
[waiter] Oh that's the yuzu pepper, (walks away and mutters to himself) along with some boogers and cum.
[Davíd] Here you are sir.
[Cartman] Thank you David that's good service.
[Davíd] I will bring you food every day my friend.
[Cartman] Mmm, is that a Jalapeño cream sauce?
[Davíd] Yes, my father made it just for you.
[Cartman] Hmm, it's tart but savory.
Boogers and cum, being a food critic's easy.
Boogers and cum, oh, you feel a little queasy?
Do you need a diagnosis? Well the doctors' got one.
[doctor] Your stomach seems to be filled with boogers and cum.
Boogers and cum, piss in your potatoes.
Boogers and cum, some guys' shit on your tomatoes.
Alright fancy food critics, looks like you've won,
Now please enjoy all the booo-hooo-geeers booo-hooo-geeers annnd cuuummm.