The Valley of Penises is a "romance" novel written by Herbert Garrison that appeared in "Cherokee Hair Tampons". During his temporary hiatus from teaching, Mr. Garrison decided to pursue his love of writing and reconcile it with his love of "poontang". Garrison was credited as Ethan P. Garrison on the book cover, a possible pen-name.
The book is regarded to be the best homo-erotic novel since Huckleberry Finn. Despite initial resistance on the part of the publisher, the book would go on to become a best-seller. Mr. Garrison later gave a copy to Kyle as a get well soon gift.
The content of the book itself is incredibly raunchy, and is known to contain 6,083 instances of the word "penis".
Excerpts from the book follow. The following sections contain content that is potentially disturbing. Discretion is strongly advised.
|Out on the balcony, when Reginald kissed Diana's lips, her knees went weak. Slowly, he pulled her top down, exposing her soft, unyielding breasts. Just the sight of those breasts made Reginald's penis very hard. His penis was of considerable size, and now beads of sweat slowly ran down his penis, making it glisten like a strong swimmer, fresh from out of the pool. It was a fantastic penis, that seemed as strong as a horse's leg, yet as delicate as a flower wrapped in silk. What a grand, grand penis. Diana's nipples...
Diana had never slept with another woman before, but it was an erotic thought she often fantasized about, and as Rebecca's naked body lay before her, Diana couldn't help but feel aroused. "Go on", Rebecca said softly, "Touch me." Diana leaned down slowly and brushed Rebecca's bare stomach with her fingertips... It felt good. Like a penis. A soft, but sturdy penis that felt warm to the touch. In Rebecca's mind, she suddenly felt like she was surrounded by penises. They were all around her, flopping all around and slapping her face. It was as if she were in a redwood forest of penises. They presented themselves tall and mighty all around her, with...