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The Return of Chef
"Previously on South Park" Daytime. Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny are playing with their toy trucks and cars under a tree in the neighborhood park. The basketball court, slide, and grass are cleared of snow. Stan runs up to them'
Stan
You guys, you guys! Chef is going away. [the others look up at him]
Kyle
Going away? For how long?
Stan
Forever.
Cut to the boys in the school kitchen, watching Chef pack up his apron
Chef
I'm sorry boys.
Cut to Chef in a bookstore
Stan
Chef said he's been bored, so he joining a group called the Super Adventure Club. [Chef opens a pamphlet about the club]
Chef
Wow!
Cut to Chef in Mrs. Garrison's classroom
Mrs. Garrison
Chef?? What kind of questions do you think adventuring around the world is gonna answer?!
Chef
What's the meaning of life? Why are we here?
Mrs. Garrison
I hope you're making the right choice.
Cartman's house, day. Cartman crying in front of Butters, in the middle of the living room
Cartman
I'm gonna miss him. [Butters walks forward a few steps and puts his hand on the sofa] I'm gonna miss Chef and I...and I don't know how to tell him! [turns his head left and cries into his left arm]
Stan and Kyle sit on a log by Stark's Pond watching the sunset
Stan
Dude, how are we gonna go on? Chef was our fuh...f-ffriend. [Kyle draws close and hugs him]
Cut to a meeting room in City Hall. The room is decorated with balloons and a sign saying "Good Luck, Chef!!" hangs over the town mayor
Mayor McDaniels
And we will all miss you, Chef, [Chef watches from a nearby table] but we know you must do what your heart tells you..
Dusk. Chef boards a Super Adventure Club jet. The town is out to see him off at the airport.
Jimbo
Bye-bye!
Gerald
Good-bye!
Mr. Mackey
So long!
A Man
So long Chef!
A Sign-Holder
Good-bye, Chef!
Randy
Good-bye, Chef! Have a good time at the Super Adventure Club!
Chef
[waves] Good-bye! [goes into the plane and disappears from the door. The door closes and the plane taxis away. The town waves good-bye to Chef again and Cartman bawls uncontrollably in a high-pitched voice. The plane climbs into the sky]..
And now, Part Two of "Life Without Chef" The boys are playing Uno in Stan's house. Their insults to each other are flat now that Chef is gone.'
Kyle
Draw two card, fatass.
Cartman
[draws two and puts one down] Reverse to you, Jew. [the doorbell rings]
Stan
[irritable] I'll get it. [rises and walks over. He opens the door...]
Chef
Hello there, children!
Stan
He's back!
Kyle
Yeah!
Cartman
All right! [applause comes out of nowhere. Chef gives them a hug]
Kyle
Chef! I can't believe you're back!
Chef
Well, it's true.
Stan
But are you back for good?
Chef
That's right.
'The bar, daytime. Mrs. Garrison bursts through the door with the big news.'
Mrs. Garrison
Hey everybody! Chef's back!
Patrons
What? All right! Yeah! [they clear the bar to meet Chef]
Randy
Oh, finally! [prances away gleefully after the others]
'Jimbo's house, later. Jimbo serves up lemonade. Everyone is laughing at Chef's tales, but they quiet down'
Gerald
Wow! It seems like you had a great time with the Super Adventure Club, Chef. They sound like interesting people.
Chef
Yeah!
Mrs. Garrison
But now that you're back here, does that mean you're not in the Super Adventure Club anymore?
Chef
N-No! No.
Randy
Ohhh, so have you decided you can still belong to the Super Adventure Club but live here in South Park again?
Chef
That's right.
Randy
Well, it seems like the Super Adventure Club was just what you needed, Chef. You must be feeling very happy that you found a club to belong to with new friends, but that you can also live here in South Park with all your old friends whom you care for deeply. [catches his breath] Right?
Chef
That's right, Randy! [everyone laughs approvingly]
Jimbo
Well Chef, you're welcome to stay with me until you buy another house.
Chef
Thank you, Jimbo.
Randy
Well, come on everybody. I'm sure Chef would like a little time to get moved back in.
Chef
That's right! Thank you. Good-bye everybody.
Townsfolk
Later. Great to have you back. Bye-bye. See ya Chef. See you later. Bye-bye.
Kyle
Well, I- guess we'll see you in school tomorrow, Chef.
Chef
You bet! Good-bye, children! [the boys are puzzled at the way he's replying to them. It sounds choppy.]
Stan
Right. Uh, see ya.
'Outside Jimbo's house. The boys walk down the steps and move towards the sidewalk'
Cartman
Uh, guys? Did Chef seem a little, uh, trippy to you?
Stan
[stops. The others stop too. Stan looks up] Well, look. he said he's happier now. Maybe he just needs to rest up a little.
Kyle
Yeah. I'm sure whatever that Super Adventure Club does is pretty tiring.
Stan
[turns left and cross the street. The others follow] Yeah, but whatever, I'm just glad he's back for good.
Kenny
(muffled) Yeah, me too.
'South Park Elementary, lunchtime. The floor is darker now.'
A Boy
[at one of the tables] It's really weird what he said, I don't know, it kind of confused me.
Cartman
Oh boy oh boy, I can't wait to have Chef's lunch food again.
Kyle
Yeah. I hope he makes his Salisbury steak with buttered noodles! [a distraught Clyde walks by and stops.]
Clyde
Something's wrong with Chef. He's saying some really weird stuff.
Kyle
Like what?
Clyde
I think...[glances at his food] I think he wants to have sex with me.
Stan
What??
Clyde
I gotta- I gotta go. [turns right and walks off]
Kyle
Weirdo. [Fosse moves up and gets his lunch; the boys follow him in]
Chef
Hello there, children!
The Boys
Hey Chef.
Chef
How's it goin'?
Kyle
Good.
Chef
Well, how about I meet you boys after work and we make love?
Cartman
[The boys are stunned] Excuse me?
Chef
Come on, children! You're my sexual fantasy. Let's all make sweet love.
Kyle
...Chef?? A-are you ok?
Chef
I want to stick my balls inside your rectum, Kyle.
Stan
Dude, what are you saying??
Chef
I'm gonna make love to your asshole, children.
Stan
...WHAT??
'Mr. Mackey's office, later. A detective is walking into the class'
Det. Jarvis
Hi kids, I'm Detective Jarvis. I need to ask you all some difficult questions about your school cafeteria chef.
Kyle
This doesn't make any sense!
Det. Jarvis
We have some information that all this time Chef has been and still is a pedophile.
Stan
No he's not.
Det.Jarvis
Stan
No he's not.
Det. Jarvis
[childish voice] Yeah, yeah he is so.
Butters
What's a pedophile?
Stan
Now, we need some testimony in order to arrest Chef, [whips out generic plush doll with no features on it] so I'm gonna use this doll to ask you kids a few questions. Did Chef ever touch any of you... here? [points to the genital area]
Stan
NO!
Det. Jarvis
Ok, did he touch you here? [moves two fingers over the groin]
The Class
NO!
Det. Jarvis
[sits the doll on his right lap and starts rubbing the doll's nipples] Did he ever do this? How about this? [lifts the doll to his face and wags his tongue over the doll's genital area]
Butters
My Uncle Bud did that to me once! [smiles unwittingly]
Det. Jarvis
[gets off the desk and walks around] Did Chef ever try one of these on for size? [places the doll face down on the desk and starts humping it]
Kyle
Goddammit, Chef isn't like that! Something funny is going on around here!
Det. Jarvis
[continues humping] Young man, will you PLEASE pay attention! This is very important stuff! Ohhh. Ohhhhhh.
'South Park Elementary, after school. The kids pour out of the school. The boys come out last, and the doors close. Chef appears before them'
Chef
Hello there, children!
Kyle
[the boys look at each other] Chef, the police are asking questions about you!
Chef
Oh really? Well, let's all go home and make love.
Stan
No, Chef, we don't wanna make love to you!
Chef
Kenny, how would you like to sodomize my black ass?
Kyle
Chef, CHEF! You need to get out of here before you get arrested, all right?!
Chef
I specialize in your asshole, Kyle. [turns and walks away]
Cartman
...Man, I can't believe all this time, Chef just wanted us for sex.
Kyle
He didn't want us for sex, fatass! Something is making him say those things.
Kenny
(muffled) Like what?
Kyle
Something must have happened to Chef while he was gone. Maybe he hit his head or, or got stuck in some quantum time vortex.
Stan
Well look, he spent the last three months with that adventurers' club. Maybe they know what happened to him.
Kenny
(muffled) Yeah! I think...
Cartman
Yeah!
Kyle
All right, come on guys!
'The Super Adventure Club, day. The club is a rambling house several stories tall, and access to it is just one ragged rope bridge. The entrance to the bridge reads "Super Adventure Club." The boys approach it calmly and walk upon the bridge.'
Cartman
Hey you guys, you know what they call a Jewish woman's boobs? Jewbs. [they step off on the other side and approach the front door. Stan reaches over and pulls the rope that rings the house's bell. A black butler opens up]
Butler
May I help you?
Kyle
Ahh, hi, can we speak to the head guy or something?
Butler
Right this way. [the boys enter and the butler leads them]
Head Adventurer
Now, the upper rim of Kilimanjaro should be quite a trek, and so we'll need to have a-
Butler
Excuse me, sir. These boys wanted to speak with you.
Head Adventurer
Ahh yes, splendid! Good afternoon, lads! I'm Head Adventurer William P. Connolly, Esquire! Welcome, to the Super Adventure Club!
Club Members
Tally ho!
Mr. Connolly
Indeed!
Kyle
Uh, hi. Our friend joined your club a while back, and now he wants to molest kids. [the members just look around]
Mr. Connolly
What? Well... well yes, of course! That's what the Super Adventure Club does!
Marksman
We travel around the world and have sex with children!
Marine
Yes, what else would we do?
Kyle
Well, we thought you went exploring and like, hunting and stuff!
Mr. Connolly
Noo, no, that's the Adventure Club. We're the Super Adventure Club! [turns and approaches a world map from maybe two centuries ago] Next week, we'll be heading to the outer banks of the Amazon, where we will make camp and have sex with children of the Ugani tribe, then it's off to the mighty Himalayas, where we will climb K-2, and molest several Tibetan children on the east summit.
Kyle
...Dude!
Mr. Connolly
I know, but it gets even better! From there we will kayak to the fruitful banks of the Mele River in Africa, where the secret and mysterious Hanimi people have children who have never seen a white man's erect penis. Of course, we're always looking for kids to have sex with on the plane rides over to these places, so how would you ALL like to join the Super Adventure Club!
Stan
NO!!
Mr. Connolly
No? Oh really? Perhaps I should ask you again? [whips out a portable hypnotizer and makes some whistling sound effects] How would you like to join the Super Adventure Club? [more sound effects]
Stan
[unnaffected] No! [Mr. Connolly tries harder, even stepping forward...]
Kyle
Dude, what are you doing?
Mr. Connolly
[looks at his machine] Oh well, it doesn't work on everybody. [hides it behind his back] Well, so long then.
Kyle
Just what the hell is that thing?!
Mr. Connolly
What? What thing? I don't see anything.
Kyle
HA! I knew it!
Stan
Knew what?
Kyle
The reason Chef has been saying those terrible things about us is because he's been brainwashed! By this - fruity little club!
Cartman
Oh, son of a bitch!
'Robert J. Neeland, psychiatry. Chef and the boys are in the waiting room with a woman reading a magazine.'
Chef
Come on, Children. Let's all go home and make love.
Stan
You need to see a psychiatrist, Chef. It's for your own good.
Chef
I just like to make love up your butt.
Woman
[turns away] Oh my God!
Nurse
[comes out to get the next patient]Mr. Chef, is it?
Kyle
All right, come on. [they follow the nurse in]
Dr.Neeland
Hello, I'm Dr. Neeland. What can I do for you today?
Kyle
Hi, uh- our friend has been brainwashed by some fruity little club.
Dr. Neeland
[approaches Chef] Brainwashed?
Stan
Yeah, he joined the Super Adventure Club, and they convinced him having sex with children was okay with a little thing that goes whrrrrrr.
Dr. Neeland
I thought that club was for hiking and kayaking.
Stan
No, that's the Adventure Club. The Super Adventure Club has sex with children.
Dr. Neeland
Oh. ...Oh, that's right, yeah.
Chef
Doctor, do you have- children?
Dr. Neeland
Why, yes, I have two young boys.
Chef
Have you all been sodomizing your children too?
Dr. Neeland
You say he's never been like this before?
Cartman
No, Chef has always been super-cool.
Chef
I'm gonna make love to the children.
Dr. Neeland
He's pretty brainwashed all right. Worst case I've ever seen.
Cartman
So what can we do??
Dr. Neeland
I'm afraid there's no simple answer. When somebody's brainwashed it can take months, even years, to reverse the process.
Kyle
But we don't have years! If Chef keeps this up, he's gonna go to jail forever!
Dr. Neeland
Tell me, what was Chef's favorite thing to do before it was having sex with children?
Stan
Having sex with women.
Dr. Neeland
Then that's it. We'd better get your friend to the Peppermint Hippo right away.
'The Peppermint Hippo. The place is busy with pole dancers doing what they do best and so on.'
DJ
All right guys. be sure to tip the waitresses; this is two for one; put your hands together, this is Monique!
Chef
[a long-haired blonde tries to excite him] Aw, come on, children. Let's go home.
Stan
This isn't working.
Dr. Neeland
WEll let's...give it some time, kids. [a brunette is keeping him busy]]
Stripper
[coarse voice] Would you like to daaance???
Kyle
No thanks. We're trying to unbrainwash our friend.
Stripper
[walks away] Daaance??? Anybody wanna daaance???
Cartman
Come on, bitch! Dance!
Blonde
Up yours, fatty.
Cartman
Bitch, I'll twist your nuts off!
DJ
All right guys, help me feel it out to them; we got a featured dancer coming out next; put your hands together for... Spantaneous Bootay! [an immense black stripper walks out, down the runway, and to the stripper pole, stout enough to hold her up. Chef leans his head to the right to get a better look.]
Stan
Come on guys, we might as well go. [the boys prepare to leave. The obese stripper can move, though, and Chef is interested. He drops the blonde off and approaches the stage]
Chef
God-damn!
Stan
Chef, we're leaving.
Dr. Neeland
No-no wait. Let him go. [Chef moves closer and stands in awe of Spantaneous Bootay]
Spantaneous Bootay
[walks up to Chef] Come here, chubby. [buries his face between her breasts and rattles it with them, then turns around and buries his face between her ass cheeks and rattles it with them as well. She releases him from their hold]
Chef
Wait a minute.
Stan
He's remembering.
Chef
Children! What have I done?
Cartman
It's ok Chef, Go on, remember!
Chef
I'm goinna- I'm gonna-
Kyle
Come on, Chef! You can do it!
Chef
I'm gonna make love to you woman, 'gonna lay you down by the fire!
The Boys
Yay!
Kenny
(muffled) Chef!
Chef
Hey children, everybody! I'm back! [a tranquilizer dart flies in on his left side and strikes him under the ear, behind the jaw, and his smile vanishes] Ow.
Mr. Connolly
[The Club is there] Great shot, William! Hit him with another. [William, dressed in outback gear, blows another dart out through a tube. This one lands in Chef's left arm]
Chef
Oh! [gets groggy quickly and drops like a sack of potatoes]
The Boys
Chef!
'Super Adventure Club, a stormy night'
Mr. Connolly
Stan
Where's Chef?! What have you done with him?!
Mr. Connolly
He's safe. [presses a remote control. The main screen comes on and Chef is shown strapped down to a bed while William sits in a chair at its foot] He's fasting in the Deprivation Room and being read the Super Adventure Club manual. We've got to undo the damage you've done.
Cartman
Look, If you wanna go around the world molesting kids, that's totally fine. But why do you need Chef?!
Mr. Connolly
We don't need him, he needs us! Our club offers hope. Do you think we go around the world molesting children just because it feels really really really really good?! No! Our club has a message! And a secret that explains the mysteries of life!
Stan
Oh Jesus, here we go.
Mr. Connolly
Very well. I'm now going to tell you the secret of the Super Adventure Club.
Stan
We don't wanna hear it.
Mr. Connolly
You see, the Super Adventure Club was founded by the greatest explorer of all time, William P. Phinehas! [a gregarious man with an open smile in the picture] Phinehas climbed the highest peaks, tamed the mightiest rivers, [a shot of him climbing up a mountain] but every time he got somewhere, he realized that other explorers had beat him to it. [A shot of Phinehas reaching a summit, only to find two Brits there, celebrating] Phinehas was depressed, until he realized that if he couldn't be the first to discover places, he could be the first to have sex with the native children that inhabited those areas! [Phinehas with some Australian natives] Phinehas quickly went down in history books as the first man to have sex with the Aborigine children at Uluru, and the first explorer to bugger all the underage mountainfolk of Nepal. [a shot of him with those kids] But now the most wonderful part. You see, after having sex with all those children, Phinehas realized that... molesting all those kids... had made him immortal.
Stan
Immortal?
Mr. Connolly
He discovered that children have things called marlocks in their bodies. [a graphic of kid bodies appears, and bright dots dapple them and move around] And when an adult has sex with a child, the marlocks implode, feeding the adult receptive cavity with energy that causes immortality, so saith the ruler of Bethos. [a blue monster alien with a bright red crown. Next shot, Phinehas in the gondola of a hot-air balloon with several boys] Phinehas traveled the world, loving many, many children, and he lived for eternity. Until he was hit by a train in 1892. [a shot of Phinehas' body on the train's bumper]
Kyle
...Do you realize how retarded that sounds?
Mr. Connolly
Is it any more retarded than the idea of God sending his son to die for our sins? Is it any more retarded than Buddha sitting beneath a tree for twenty years?
Stan
Yeah, it's way, way more retarded.
Mr. Connolly
Well, now that you know our club secrets, it appears you ... leave us no choice. I'm afraid we're going to have to... ask you to leave. [dramatic fanfare]
Stan
We're not leaving without Chef.
Mr. Connolly
If you choose not to leave, then I'm afraid we're just going to have to ... call security and make you leave. [dramatic fanfare] You'll be let out by security and it will be super-embarrassing and everyone here will see! [laughs more and more sinisterly. Moments later...] Okay, you know how like, when you want people to leave but they won't leave, it's really frustrating?
Kyle
We're not going anywhere without Chef.
Mr. Connolly
Cool people leave before they've overstayed their welcome. [the boys do not move] You petulant fools! You just had to push it, didn't you? You don't realize who you're dealing with here. Security! [two officers come out and stand behind the boys] Take these boys to the door.
Guard 1
All right, come on kids.
Kyle
No! Hey!
Mr. Connolly
[the lights come on] Haha! Look they're being led by security! Haha!
Stan
[to one of the guards] No, you don't understand! They've got our friend in the Deprivation Room!
Guard 2
This is their house and they don't want you here. [about to push Stan out the door. Kyle grabs a bat from a nearby jar and whacks the second guard in the back and the first guard on the legs. They both fall. The boys run towards the Deprivation Room]
Kyle
Sorry, dude, but this fruity little club isn't taking our friend!
''The Deprivation Room. William reads to Chef
William
And sex with Eskimo children requires some special skills. [the boys break the door down]
Kyle
Chef, come on!
Chef
Childern!
William
Get out of here!
Cartman
Kenny! Spin Blossom Nut Squash!
Kenny
[launches himself into a spinning projectile] (muffled) Yeeeeehah! [smashes William's groin. William doubles over in pain]
Stan
[rushes up to Chef] Come on, Chef!
Chef
[struggling] I can't...break these locks. [those are solid locks indeed]
Kyle
Here! [walks up to the fallen William, gets a small ax from him, walks up to Chef and chops the locks open. They escape the Deprivation Room]
'The club's living room. The boys run through it on the way out.'
Cartman
Run Chef!
Mr. Connolly
[turns to see what's happening] What the-? Impossible! I made them leave!
Kyle
Get outside! [chef and the boys reach the front doors]
Mr. Connolly
Stop them! [he leads the adventurers in the charge]
'Outside the club. Chef and the boys run out, heading for the bridge'
Chef
Children! Run! [they run to the other end of the bridge]
Mr. Connolly
Stop! [his group runs out of the club. Stan and the others reach the other side]
Stan
We made it!
Mr. Connolly
[calling out] Don't you remember why you left South Park in the first place?? [Chef stops in his tracks]
Stan
Chef, come on!
Mr. Connolly
You sought adventure! And why do people seek adventure? Because their lives have become dull and empty!
Kyle
Yeah, he wanted adventure! Not a bunch of ridiculous bullcrap! Right Chef? [Chef's hesitance shoes a dilemma] Chef?
Mr. Connolly
Don't forget all your training, Chef! Stay with us and your life will be GRAND and ETERNAL!
Stan
[softly] Chef, we love you.
Chef
[his eyes shift back and forth with his thoughts] I'm sorry children. [turns and walks towards the club]
Kyle
No! Chef, they've filled your head with lies! Can't you see that??
Chef
Get the hell out of here, children!
Mr. Connolly
Yesss. Looks like our fruity little club is safe after all. [a fierce flash of lightning tears the bridge in two, right behind Chef. Fire leaps on him and he screams] NO! [The club end of the bridge smashes into the cliff]
The Boys
Chef! [Chef tries to scramble up the bridge, but the fire is too fast and consumes it. He can't climb. The club members approach the edge of the cliff. One of them inadvertently kicks a stone off and it hits Chef, knocking him off the bridge and to his doom below.]
Chef
Ack. [He bounces off five jagged rocks before finally...] Ow! Oh! Ah! Oh! Damnit! [...landing on the jagged stub of wood piercing through some rocks, which impales him] Ah- Awww! [blood spreads out under him]
Stan
NO! [Chef struggles to get up, but can't move. A mountain lion leaps down into view]
Cartman
A mountain lion! [the lion grabs at Chef's right arm, but is having trouble ripping it off]
Mr. Connolly
We can't lose another member! Shoot it! [the marksman aims and fires]
Chef
Ah!
Marksman
All right, this! [fires twice, but the lion remains unaffected and continues pulling at Chef's arm]
Kyle
[heartbroken] CHEF! [a huge bear appears]
Cartman
A grizzly bear!
'the bear stands on its hind legs and roars at the lion, who lets go of Chef and runs up to the challenge. The lion leaps on the bear, trying to go for the jugular, but the bear grabs it and throws it off. The lion hits a cliff wall and falls onto the ground, dazed, but quickly gets up and sinks its fangs into Chef's head. Chef's face and left eye are ripped off and Chef is left babbling. The lion bites into Chef's right arm again while the bear has a hold of Chef's right foot, and at the same time, bear and lion each take a limb. Chef's legs and hips rip away from his torso, and Chef is effectively dead. The bear and lion walk off in different directions with their meals. The boys stare at Chef's remains in horror]
Stan
Oh my God...They killed Chef!
Kyle
You bastards. YOU BASTARDS!!
Mr. Connolly
Pity. He would have made an excellent child molester. [the men turn and go back to the clubhouse]
Cartman
Maybe- maybe he's still okay. [the other boys look at him, dumbfounded] No, really. They say the last thing you do before you die is crap your-
Chef
POOOT! [a mean final fart, and a soiled log falls out]
Cartman
Oh never mind.
Stan
Come on, let's go.
'South Park, a nice, sunny day. Spring is in the air. and a funeral for Chef is set in the town square. A long line of people are paying their respects. Mrs. Garrison steps up to the coffin, and Principal Victoria stands next to her for support. Down in the coffin is a spatula with a red ribbon around it. Kyle steps up to the podium, on which sits a picture of Chef and on the front of which hangs a wreath with the banner "R.I.P. CHEF."'
Kyle
We're all here today because Chef has been such an important part of our lives. A lot of us don't agree with the choices Chef has made in the past few days. [Elton John is present] Some of us... feel hurt... and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us. [Stan, Cartman and Kenny look down at their feet] But we can't let the events of the last week take away the memories of how much Chef made us smile. [they perk up a bit] I'm gonna remember Chef as the jolly old guy who always broke into song. [Timmy and Jimmy are sitting together] I'm gonna remember Chef... as the guy who gave us advice to live by. [Terrance and Phillip are present, weeping quietly] So you see, we shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving us. We should be mad at that little fruity club for scrambling his brains.
Randy
Yeah.
Mr. Mackey
He's right. [soft applause rises from the crowd]
Kyle
And in the end, I know that somewhere out there... there's the good part of Chef... that's still alive in us all. [smiles]
'The SAC house, operating room. The club members have gone down to retrieve Chef and put him on the table. Mr. Connolly and two of his men quickly get to work'
Mr. Connolly
Is it working? Is it working?
Tech
Yes. We've got a pulse!
Mr. Connolly
Get him in the ICU suit! Hurry! [an ICU suit is fitted onto Chef] We have done it! Good! Raise him up! [Chef and the operating table are tilted upright - but this Chef looks like Darth Vader. He has a glowing red spatula in his right hand] Chef, can you hear me? Say something.
Darth Chef
Hello there, children. How would you like some Salisbury Steak?
Mr. Connolly
Yes, go on.
Darth Chef
And for desert, how would you children like to suck on my chocolate salty balls?
Mr. Connolly
Oh? You mean like chocolate candy?
Darth Chef
No, I mean my balls.
Mr. Connolly
Yes, YES! Hahahahahahaaa!
End of The Return of Chef