Mr. Garrison gets fed up with long lines, delayed flights and the airline industry in general and invents his own transportation device. Anticipation for the new machine, a closely guarded secret, builds to a frenzy. Meanwhile, Kyle's cousin Kyle visits South Park from Connecticut. Kyle realizes he'll have to bribe Cartman not to make fun of the new kid.
In the episode, Kyle's cousin, Kyle Schwartz from Connecticut, comes to live in South Park due to his mother's ailing health. While Kyle was initially excited about seeing his cousin for the first time, he is shocked to see that he is an overly-stereotyped version of a Jewish person (e.g., constantly complaining about everything, Yiddish accent, highly sensitive to the dryness of the air, breathes heavily, vibrates his soft palate every time he exhales (making a sound akin to a snore), allergic to most meats excluding fish, and penny-pinching in nature). Kyle is told by his mother to take care of his cousin, but the boys all soon realize that Kyle's cousin is just too annoying to live in South Park with them. In fact Kyle even promises to pay Cartman $40 if he doesn't make fun of his cousin. Cartman tries as hard as he can but the temptation is to great for him to resist.
Much of this episode then goes on to have the boys constantly trying to get rid of Kyle's cousin, by tying him to the back of a bus while he is on a sled, tricking him onto a plane to Antarctica, etc. However, Kyle's cousin always finds a way to come back to South Park in a manner parodying a Looney Tunes character.
Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison, tired of the inefficient and frustrating airline check-ins, decides to invent his own vehicle. Inspired by watching singer Enrique Iglesias' sexualized singing on TV and by gyroscopes, he invents the gyroscope-powered monowheel "IT" (supposedly a parody of the Segway, which was code-named "IT", although this episode aired before the unveiling of the Segway Scooter). "IT" can go up to two hundred miles per hour, gets three hundred miles to the gallon, and is an all-around better mode of travel than any other vehicle. The only problem is that it is controlled by an uncomfortable method; using four "flexi-grip handles" that somewhat resemble erect penises; two used by the hands, one in the mouth, and a fourth handle which is inserted into the anus.
Despite this unorthodox control mechanism (which is uncomfortable to everyone except Mr. Garrison and elderly women), it is still considered better than the airlines and Mr. Garrison is a smashing success. Even aviation enthusiast John Travolta decides that "IT" "beats dealing with the airline companies.". Later it's revealed that the same buttons that are found on the handles are found on the sides of the vehicle rendering the grips useless, something which Garrison reluctantly admits.
However the government decides to bail out the airlines from going under because of "IT". To ensure the airlines' dominance as a mode of transport to make sure none of the people working for them lose their jobs, the government ends up outlawing "IT" and makes using it a criminal act, despite acknowledging that the airlines are failing because of their own incompetence. As a result, Kyle's cousin, who had invested in "IT", gets a $5,000,000 bail out payment and decides to return home to Connecticut to take care of his sick mother. Because of this new found wealth, the boys suddenly change their plan and try to get him to stay in South Park. To their surprise, Kyle's cousin says that he wants to leave because they are "douchebags" and calls them rednecks out of a "stereotype catalog". He ultimately leaves, dashing their chances to share in his new wealth. Cartman blames Kyle for his departure, saying "Good job, Jew!" just before the episode ends.