When the Biggest Douche in the Universe Committee brought psychic John Edward to their awards show, he wins the honor of being crowned the The Biggest Douche in the Universe out of two other contestants.
Here he is, the Biggest Douche of the Universe! In all the galaxies, there's no bigger douche than you!
You've reached the top, the pinnacle of douchedom! Good going, douche. Your dreams have come true!