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"Swiss Colony Beef Log" is a song by Eric Cartman on the Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics album.

Background

The song is referencing a real product manufactured by the Swiss Colony brand.[1]

Lyrics

Eric Cartman:

Stockings are hung on the chimney
And the presents are under the tree.
And Mamma's in the kitchen
Making some herbal tea.
Windows are covered in frost
And the candles are all alight
But as I wander through this quiet house
Something just doesn't seem right

You see, every year the neighbors bring us
A Swiss Colony Beeflog.
But the neighbors aren't around (around, around)
And there's no beeflog to be found this year.

Christmas, isn't Christmas
Without a Swiss Colony Beeflog.
Without those cheeses and meat
I don't think I can get along.
My Mother tries to comfort me
She says 'Here son, have some eggnog'
I fucking hate eggnog seriously..

But what do I see?
Underneath the tree?
Grandma got a Swiss Colony Beeflog
Just for me! Aaah, aaaaah, aaaaaah, grandma!

Swiss Colony Beeflog, baby
That's what Christmas is all abouut!
A roly-poly Colony beeflog, lady
Makes a little boy scream and shout!

Deck the halls with with boughs of Swiss Colony.
Fa-la-la-la-la, laa-laa-laa-laaaa! .. Sweet!

References


Songs from Season Three
Believe | Carol of the Bells | Christmas Medley | Christmas Time in Hell | Dead, Dead, Dead | Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel | Falling Away from Me | Getting Gay With Kids | Got to Buy Chinpokomon | Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas | Help Me Buy Chinpokomon | Holy Diver | Home School Miracle | I Am Chewbacca | I Hate You Guys | I Saw Three Ships | It Happened in Sun Valley | Love Bug | Merry Fucking Christmas | Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo | My Country Tis of Thee | O Holy Night | O Tannenbaum | Rebecca's Song | Sexual Harassment Panda | Shelly, Shelly | Silver Bells | Sleigh Ride | Soaring So High | Swiss Colony Beef Log | The Brown Note | The Menstrual Cycle Song | The Morning After | The Most Offensive Song Ever | Turds! | What the Hell Child is This? | Wild Wild West Rap | You and Me, Girl

See Also: List of Minor Characters from Season Three | Season Three