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Cast

  • Stan Marsh
  • Kyle Broflovski
  • Eric Cartman
  • Kenny McCormick
  • Butters Stotch
  • Randy Marsh
  • Sharon Marsh
  • Mr. Garrison
  • Mr. Mackey
  • PC Principal and PC Bros
  • Pledges
  • Topher
  • Gerald Broflovski
  • Ryan Valmer
  • Stephen Stotch
  • Stuart McCormick
  • Janitor and Friend
  • Tuong Lu Kim
  • Jared Fogle
  • 200 Pregnant Mexicans
  • Syrian Refugee Children
  • Townsman

Script

Stunning and Brave
South Park Elementary cafeteria, night. Emergency All School meeting. Students and their parents file into the cafeteria and find seats. Mr. Mackey approaches the mic
Mr. Mackey
Alright parents and students, please take your seats. [A gleeful Randy crumples a sheet of paper into a ball and throws it at him as Sharon looks on. The crumpled up paper strikes Mr. Mackey, who tries to deflect it and gets annoyed] Okay, okay. Now as you know, There was an incident at the school last week involving a student referring to rape as a "hot Cosby," okay? [everyone laughs. Cartman looks around, smiling] Listen, listen! Principal Victoria has been fired!
Various adults
What? Fired?
Cartman
Sweet dude!
Mr. Mackey
And a new person has been appointed to try and make South Park Elementary a more... progressive place that... fits in with today's times. Heh ukay? So please welcome... PC Principal. [a burly man holding a sports bottle walks through the cafeteria. He sports a goatee, a hint of a mustache, and Oakley sunglasses. He swallows the last of the drink and throws the bottle off to one side]
PC Principal
Alright, listen up. My name is PC Principal. I don't know about you, but frankly I'm sick and tired of how minority groups are marginalized in today's society. I'm here because this place is lost in a time warp! Students who still use the word "retarded"! A teacher who said women without wombs should get an AIDS test!
Mr. Garrison
Oh, I was a [takes his right wrist and flips it forward] lesbian then.
PC Principal
A chef "person of color" who the children had sing soul songs and who the children drove to kill himself!
Butters
No, he got brainwashed by a cult.
PC Principal
[aims his left index finger at Butters] And that's two days' detention for you, young man! We'll see you at 4!
Butters
What??
PC Principal
Let me ask you this. We're in Colorado, right?! Where are the Hispanic kids?! Huh?! Where are the ethnic and racial minorities?!
Mr. Mackey
Well, we have Token; he's black.
PC Principal
[aims his left index finger at Mr. Mackey] And that's two days' detention for you, Mackey! Congratulations!
Mr. Mackey
Wha- I got detention?
PC Principal
I Googled South Park before I came here, and I cannot believe the shit you're getting away with! People claiming to be advocates of transgender rights, but really just wanting to use the women's bathroom! [Sharon and Stan look at Randy] A white man who thinks he's Chinese and built a wall to keep out Mongolians.
Tuong Lu Kim
Ohhhh I hate-a Mongorians!
PC Principal
What the fuck is this?! Are you fucking kidding me?! I'm telling you all, this is done! Like it or not, PC is back, and it's bigger than ever! Weoo-weoo-weoo You hear that?! That's the sound of 2015 pulling you over, people! Suck it! [holds his right arm out and lets the mic drop to the floor from his hand]
South Park Elementary, day. Kids walk here and there in the hall. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny walk together
Stan
[looking around] Man, I guess things are going to be different around here.
Kyle
You know what? I think it's good. Let's face it: this is long overdue.
Butters
[runs up to the other three] Did you guys hear? Cartman got four days' detention, for calling Heidi Turner "clitty litter"!
Kenny
(Really?)
Butters
But the thing is, Eric isn't even fightin' it. It's like he's all sad and scared.
Kyle
Good! He should be sad and scared! These things do matter and I already feel better to be at a school where we can start to have a dialogue and talk about this stuff.
Mr. Mackey
[over the P.A. system] Will uh, Kyle Broflovski report to the principal's office immediately? Uhkay? Kyle Broflovski. [Kyle walks off] Did I, did I say that all right?
The principal's office, some time later. Gerald opens the office door and steps in
Gerald
Uhm, hi, I'm Gerald, Kyle Broflovski's father.
PC Principal
Have a seat. I've been talking with your child, and we're gonna be giving him two weeks' detention.
Gerald
[to Kyle, in a hushed voice] Wull, what's this about, Kyle?
PC Principal
Your son said some things to a fourth-grade girl that frankly make me wanna puke! Now that I'm principal, I'm not gonna allow [pounds the desk with his left fist] anyone at this school to be made feel unsafe and harassed!
Gerald
Wh-wh-what did he say?
PC Principal
[takes off his sunglasses] You'll have to excuse my language. [picks up a report and clears his throat] "I don't think Caitlyn Jenner is a hero." [no reaction from Gerald or Kyle. PC Principal gets ready to erupt] This kind of transphobic and [pounds the desk with his left fist] bigoted hate speech isn't gonna fly here, bro! Well I though we were all on board that Caitlyn Jenner is an amazing, [quickly stands up] beautiful woman who had the exquisite bravery of a butterfly flying against the wind. And then this shit comes out of people's mouths!
Gerald
PC Principal, I, I'm sure Kyle was just referring to Bruce Jenner as a person, and not trying to say anything against-
PC Principal
You got a fuckin' problem bro?!
Gerald
No...
PC Principal
'Cause it's not Bruce fuckin' Jenner! It's Caitlyn, and she's a fuckin' stunning woman! Or maybe you're the one teaching him to demean women in the first place! HUH?! What's up?! What's fuckin' up, bro?
Gerald
Look, maybe we can all just ta-
PC Principal
Get the fuck out of here, dude! [turns the desk over, sending papers all over the place]
Gerald and Kyle
[alarmed] Aaah! [Gerald takes Kyle and they both rush to the door, open it, and rush out]
Crunchy's Micro Brew. The men of the town have gathered at this new watering hole. At the center table sit Stuart, Stephen, Randy, Gerald, and Ryan Valmer
Randy
I mean, who the hell does this guy think he is? Some college kid's gonna come in and tell us our ways are old?
Stuart
Yeah. And, you can't bully our kids like that.
Gerald
Kyle's already got two weeks of detention.
Stephen
Huh for what?!
Gerald
Just 'cause he said something about Caitlyn Jenner. [a hush falls over the table]
Stephen
Oh, Caitlyn Jenner. she's a hero. She is stunning and brave.
Stuart
Stunning. She is absolutely beautiful, and an inspiration.
Ryan
Yup!
Randy
Yup, that's right.
Gerald
Well what the hell were you guys talki-
Ryan
we've gotta be careful, Gerald. This is a college bar.
PC Bro 1
Somebody here have a problem with Caitlyn Jenner?
Ryan
No.
PC Bro 1
No? 'Cause she's a stunning, beautiful woman, and if you wanna call her anything else I'm ready to fuckin' throw down!
Stuart
No no, we're totally fine with it.
PC Bro 2
Weoo-weoo-weoo-weoo-weoo! [walks up waving his left hand over his head like a police siren] It? Did somebody just refer to Caitlyn Jenner as "it"? I'm PC, bro. I'll throw down!
PC Bro 1
Sweet. You're PC bro?
PC Bro 2
Yeah, Arizona State.
PC Bro 1
Sweet, bro. I'm PC UMass.
PC Bro 2
Fuck yeah! Sweet, dude! [holds up his left hand open]
PC Bro 1
[clasps the other guy's left hand with his own] Sweet! [releases the grip] So, do we have a fuckin' problem here?
Stephen
No! Caitlyn Jenner is the bravest woman in America.
PC Bro 3
Weoo-eoowoo-eoowoo-oo! [walks up waving his right hand over his head like a police siren] Did someone here just say "America" in a way that "other-izes" and demeans the people of Latin and South America?!
PC Bro 2
Nice, dude. You PC?
PC Bro 3
Yeah, Chino Hills. [to the seated men] You think Venezuelans aren't Americans, brah?!
PC Bro 2
Yeah, you wanna make fun of me?!
PC Principal
[notices the commotion and walks up] Hey! What seems to be the problem here, gentlemen?!
PC Bro 1
Who the hell are you?!
PC Principal
I'm PC Principal.
PC Bro 2
Oh nice. We're all PC too.
PC Principal
No way! There's more PC bros here?
PC Bro 4
Yeah dude, Ohio State.
PC Principal
Sweet, bros. Texas A&M. Bro, I had no idea there were like-minded individuals in this town that defended social minorities. We should all hang out.
PC Bro 1
We should totally hang out.
PC Bro 4
We should all get a house together and unite our tolerant views.
PC Bro 1
Fuckin' do it, dude!
PC Bro 4
Fuck yeah!
A new frat house in South Park - Rho Omega Delta - night. PC bros are everywhere, lifting weights, fighting, drinking from kegs, having a good time. Two of them are on a balcony drinking PBR as two farmers gaze at the house from a distance.
Janitor
Well, looks like thangs are gettin' all PC again. [a shot of the house again]
Friend
Well how long d'you think this will last?
Janitor
Lasted about six years last time. We got at least [checks his watch] 5.9 years to go.
South Park Elementary, day. The school bell rings, and Cartman is at his locker getting his back pack. The other boys walk up to him.
Kyle
Uhhh, hey Cartman. Uhwaht's goin' on? Aren't you going to ah, you know, go do something about this new principal?
Cartman
I've already got four days of detention. I don't want anymore. I'm gonna start following the rules.
Stan
But, this isn't you, Cartman.
Kyle
Yeah, where is the Eric Cartman we know? The Eric Cartman we know breaks the rules. And he gets away with it. Just like his hero! Come on, who's your hero, Cartman?!
Cartman
[sighs heavily] Tom Brady.
Stan
Right! And what does Tom Brady do after breaking the rules?
Cartman
Deny and subvert.
Stan
Yeah!
Butters
Yeah, what? Well what would Tom Brady say if he got caught shoplifting.
Cartman
Everybody shoplifts. Why are you coming down on me?
Butters
Yeah!
Kyle
[walks up to Cartman] You're Tom Brady, Cartman! And that new principal in there is the football commissioner trying to dictate his punishment to you. And what happens when an invulnerable cheater comes up against an elitist corporate dictator?
Cartman
A perfect storm of hypocrisy that everyone in the country has to deal with for months on end.
Cartman
[pacing back and forth] You're right, guys. I'm gonna Tom Brady this thing!
Boys
Yeah!
Cartman
I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say "You're not giving me four day of detention! You're only giving me one!"
Boys
Yeah!
Cartman
NO! No, to hell with that! "You're giving me NO days detention! And then I'm gonna go home and fuck my hot wife! Who's not even that hot, and kinda looks like a dude!" [marches off]
Boys
Yeah!
Cartman
[turns around] Thanks, guys. I almost forgot the lessons that football has taught us all. I can get around these pesky rules. Butters, I'm going to need your underwear. [walks off]
Butters
Well ohhh-kay! [walks off after Cartman]
Kyle
Cool. I think we did it. [raises his left arm, and Stan high-fives it]
South Park Elementary, hallway. PC Principal walks through it like the Big Man On Campus. The kids look up at him in awe. He reaches the stairs leading up to the faculty bathroom. Nearby Jenny Simons looks at him, he looks back. He opens his arms as if to scare a bear, then he takes a step in Jenny's direction. Jenny backs away immediately. PC Principal goes downstairs.
Faculty bathroom, moments later. PC Principal puts his glasses behind his head and does his business at the urinal. Cartman drops down from the toilet in the stall behind the principal and steps outside the stall
Cartman
Oh, PC Principal, how are you today?
PC Principal
What are you doing in the faculty bathroom?
Cartman
You know, I think you and I got off on the wrong foot the other day. By all means, please, keep your dick out. You see, I'm not going to accept four days of detention and... you're going t'apologize publicly for being so strict to me and my friends at school.
PC Principal
What the fuck are you talking about?
Cartman
It's just a request, that's all. See you around. [stops and looks down] Oh, you seem to have dropped something, PC Principal. [picks it up] What's this? Why, this is a little boy's underwear. [sniffs at it] Why, this is Butters' underwear.
PC Principal
[zips up and looks at Cartman] What?
Cartman
PC Principal, you have Butters' underwear and now... [drops it into the urinal and soaks it in PC Principal's urine - the principal had not flushed the urinal - and pulls the briefs out.] Oh my gosh, it's got your DNA all over it. [through some windows above the urinal, Kyle, Butters, Craig, Stan, and Token watch the action unfold] This certainly doesn't look good for you. I don't need to tell anyone about this. No, I think we have an understanding. Capiche?
PC Principal
What did you just say?
Cartman
You mean about keeping your dick out?
PC Principal
"Capiche"?! You're associating Italian-Americans to intimidation tactics?! [one by one, the boys' smiles disappear] You'd better watch your micro-aggression's, bro! [now the boys are afraid of the next move]
Cartman
Oh-kay. Look, you don't want to end up like the spokesman for Subway, so you?
PC Principal
Did you just use a term that excludes women from an occupation?! [picks Cartman up...]
Cartman
Okay, let's back up. [...and slams him against the stall] Aaah!
PC Principal
[slams him several times into the wall next to the mirror] Did you just say "spokesman" instead of "spokesperson"?! When women are just as capable at selling sandwiches as anyone?! [slams Cartman into the mirror, shattering it] Are you purposely trying to use words that assert your male privilege?! [slams Cartman into a sink, shattering it]
Cartman
[quuickly] No, I'm sorry. I was just trying to frame you for raping Butters!
PC Principal
[ignoring him] Do you think Italian-Americans and women are less important?! [pins Cartman to the floor and starts beating him up]
Cartman
Oh God!
PC Principal
You dare to use words that alienate two communities of people who have to deal with verbal biases like yours on a daily basis?! [beats him up some more. The other boys leave the window and walk away.]
Rho Omega Delta house. The frat bros are having a good time as "Genius of Love" plays in the background. Randy looks out from his bedroom window, not being able to sleep, and sees the frat house. He puts his fists against his hips and heads for the house. He bangs on the door until it opens
Randy
Can I speak with PC Principal please?
PC Bro 5
Oh yeah. We got another one, guys!
PC Bro 6
All right. Bring him in, bro!
PC Bro 7
[voice only] We're ready! Woo! [other PC bros haul him in and change his clothes]
Randy
Hey what? [stands in line with a bunch of other guys] Hey no, I- No, I don't- [he is now wearing a PLEDGE shirt - he is now a pledge for this fraternity]
PC Bro 8
All the pledges take a shot! [the music is cut off, frat bros come in and offers the pledges swigs from various bottles of liquor]
PC Principal
All right pledgies, we're excited. You wanna try and be PC. We hope you've got what it takes to join the most socially active group in America.
PC Bros
Weoooh!
PC Principal
You know, there's still some people out there that say "What does being PC really mean?" Well, I'll tell you what it means. It means you love nothin' more than beer, workin' out, and that feelin' you get when you rhetorically defend a marginalized community from systems of oppression.
PC Bros
Wooo! Yeah! Dude, let's go! Woowooo! Yeah!
Randy
[takes a swig] Yeah!
PC Bros
Wooohooo!
Randy
[shakes his head vigorously] Wooo-ooo!
PC Bros
Wooohooo! let's go! Yeah!
The Marsh house, early morning. Randy comes down the stairs slowly, painfully. He stops a moment to address a headache. He makes his way slowly to the kitchen and sits at the breakfast table. He hangs his head and rests it on his right hand. Sharon, arms crossed, has been waiting for him.
Sharon
You got home pretty late last night. Six AM?
Randy
I've joined a social awareness group. It's a coalition that discourages the use of ... words that have negative or offensive connotations... to grant respect to people who are victims of unfair stereotypes.
Sharon
You got in at Six and now you're missing work.
Randy
We've been getting away with horrible things, Sharon. Having- laughs at less privileged people and thinking it was harmless. Our group is... trying to be a civilizing influence... where we discuss and have meetings to better define and reinforce tolerance and acceptance [voice trails off] of all groups of people.
Sharon
Hm... And do they have booze at these meetings?
Randy
Uhhhh... They serve refreshments, yes.
A hospital room, night. Cartman is on a bed hooked up to monitoring equipment. He's got two black eyes, cuts on his arms, and a cast on his right leg. Stan, Kyle, Butters, and Kenny stop by
Stan
Cartman?
Cartman
[with raspy voice] We can't beat him, you guys. PC Principal is too strong.
Butters
What do we do now?
Cartman
There's nothing left to do. I'm going to admit I did something wrong, take my punishment, and move on. I'm not Tom Brady.
Butters
[earnestly] Oh no!
Kyle
Dude, if we all tell the police what the principal did, he'll be fired!
Stan
Yeah.
Cartman
No way.
Kyle
Why?
Cartman
Because PC Principal is right, Kyle. You and I are bigots, and it's time for us to grow up.
Kyle
No, you're a bigot.
Cartman
If I can face my prejudice, why can't you? We're two privileged, straight white boys who have their laughs about things we never had to deal with.
Kyle
I'm not going to apologize for saying Caitlyn Jenner isn't a hero! In fact, personally, I think she's most likely not a very good person! [the boys gasp]
Cartman
[In added pain] Aaahh, aahh! [looks left at Kyle] Kyle, believe me! I know the struggle with hatred. Let's make ourselves better people... together. [reaches out to Kyle]
Kyle
Come on, fat-ass.
Cartman
No more fat-shaming, Kyle. Let's start a new chapter.
Kyle
So you're never gonna call me a dirty Jew again?
Cartman
No. I'm going to call you... my friend.
Kyle
Oh fuck you. [turns around and walks out]
Cartman
I... guess we never realized how bad he really was.
Rho Omega Delta house, night. Randy dances with other bros to "Watch Me (Whip / Nae Nae)" and takes a sip of beer after each dance move
PC Principal
All right, pledges, listen up. Congratulations on making it to the final cuts. [only three pledges are left - Randy and two other men.]
Pledges
Wooohoo! Yeah!
PC Principal
Now it's time for the final test. So what you're gonna have to do, to prove you belong with PC, is go out there, and check someone's privilege.
Pledge 1
Finally!
Pledge 2
Yes!
Randy
I'm sorry, I don't know what that is.
PC Principal
Topher, can you explain "check your privilege" please.
Topher
[PC Bro 1] Uh, it's getting someone to acknowledge their own inherent privileges and reminding them to put them aside in order to better understand another human's plight.
PC Principal
Yeah, see, there's some people out there like Brett fucking Favre who think that when we all stand up and applaud Caitlyn Jenner at the ESPY Awards, he can get away with one of these bullshit claps! [performs a limp clap] It's called "clapping" Favre! What the fuck are you doing?! Washing your hands?! You're either on board, or you're NOT, bro! Now, if he's gonna bring shame on someone, then he can have his privilege checked and have a little shame brought down on him!
Randy
You want me to shame Brett Favre?
PC Principal
[stops to stare at Randy] No. 'Cause there's somebody even worse now.
Kyle's room, night. He's asleep, and we quickly find out who could be worse then Brett Favre. On the inner side of the bed is Randy, and on the window side are the two pledges who were with him for the final cut. One 3 the three men shake Kyle's bed and blow into noisemakers.
Kyle
AAAAHH! What the fuck, dude?! What the fuck?! [A few seconds later the men rush out of the room as he watches them leave. Then he looks down and sees pigs all over the floor. Each one has the word "Biggit" painted on.]
Cartman's hospital room. He begins to dream of a football game. He's dressed as Tom Brady, with his back to the camera. His voice echoes throughout the dream
Cartman Brady
[turns around] I may be down, but I'm not out. Tom Brady's never out!
Commissioner Cartman
You broke the rules!
Cartman Brady
Fuck you, "I broke the rules"! YOU're breaking the rules!
Commissioner Cartman
Fuck you, you broke the rules!
Cartman Brady
You broke the rules, how you found out I broke the rules!
Coach Cartman
Yeah, you broke the rules!
Commissioner Cartman
I'm the commissioner! I can break the rules 'cause you guys broke the rules before! I didn't bust you enough!
Coach, Brady
Just because you didn't bust us enough for breakin' the rules, that doesn't mean you can break the rules bustin' us now!
Commissioner Cartman
Fuck both you guys! I can do whatever I want! I'm breakin' the rules!
Cartman Brady
Fuck you, I'm Tom Brady!
Commissioner Cartman
Fuck you, I'm the commissioner! I'll make up new rules!
Coach, Brady
Fuck your rules!
Commissioner Cartman
Fuck you guys, always fucking rules!
Cartman Brady
Fuck all the rules! [all this wakes Cartman up]
Cartman
Ack! Butters!
Butters
I'm here, Eric.
Cartman
Oh Butters, I've lived such a horrible life! Always doing whatever I want and claiming it to be for integrity. BUTTERS?
Butters
Yes Eric.
Cartman
I'm never going back to the person I was. I swear to God. From now on the world is going to know a new and better Eric Cartman.
The Marsh house, day. The doorbell rings and Stan rushes to the door to see who it is. When he opens the door, he sees Kyle with a tree stuck on his back and penises drawn all over his face.
Kyle
Will you please tell your dad to leave me alone?
Stan
Dude, what happened?
Kyle
[steps inside, tree and all] Your dad was on my lawn yelling at me all night, and after I finally fell asleep I woke up Saran-wrapped to a tree with penises on my face. And this. [removes his hat to reveal his hair gathered into four crude ponytails, one of them covered in a condom. Stan is stunned, but takes it in]
Stan
Hang on. [walks to the kitchen] Dad, did you draw dicks on my friend's face?
Randy
[back at the kitchen table, with a hangover, like last time] Did I check his privilege? Yes. I had some refreshments and I checked your friend's privilege.
Stan
That's my best friend, Dad! Stop shaming him because you want to fit in!
Randy
Stan, straight white males in a capitalistic society have little- understanding of victimization compared to injustices against the underprivileged. Dicks on your face is a very first-world problem. [the liquor comes back into his mouth] Oh shit! [vomits as he heads toward the sink]
Stan
[returns] Look, Kyle, maybe you should just say Caitlyn Jenner is a hero.
Kyle
I didn't even say she wasn't a hero! I just said she isn't a hero to me! I didn't like Bruce Jenner as a person when he was on the Kardashians, and I don't suddenly like him now!
A passing bro
Weoo-weoo-weoo-weooh!
Stan
Her.
Kyle
HER, yes!
Cartman's hospital room. Cartman is on his feet, stumbling
Cartman
OH. Eh, oh it's no use, Butters. I want to get out there and start making positive changes, but I... can barely even walk. [thinks a moment] How is everybody doing?
Butters
Well they're fine. Everyone's just kind of keepin' their mouths shut. It's kinda nice. [smiles] So the PC guys are leavin' people alone. Well, except for...
Cartman
Who?
Butters
Well, well now they've made Kyle their main target.
Cartman
[soft music plays] ...Kyle? ...My friend Kyle? [begins removing his hospital clothes slowly and replacing them with his own clothes]
Butters
Eric, what are you doing?
Cartman
I don't have a choice. I have to take these PC people out.
Butters
Oh, but I thought you agreed with them.
Cartman
I do, but I have to help Kyle, even if I don't agree with his hateful, bigoted thoughts. Kyle's view may be warped. I personally think Caitlyn Jenner's a stunning hero, [clears his throat] but that doesn't mean I'll stand by while Kyle's intolerance is dealt with violently. We're going to war with these PC people once and for all! Butters, I'm going to need 200 pregnant Mexican women and some taco launchers.
Butters
Well ohhh-kay!
Rho Omega Delta house, night. The PC bros have gathered around a door entrance, and begin chanting...
PC Bros

Social Justice 1 2 3 Woowoo!
I wanna be PC Woowoo!
It's just the way to be for me!
And you!
Woowoo!
Your hateful slurs are through! Woowoo!

PC Bro 9

I call woowoo on you!

PC Bros

Woowoo! We'll fight until you're PC black and blue!

Randy

Woowoo!

PC Bros

Woowoo!We are language police fighting bigotry!
Hurtful words can suck our turds, 'cause it's PC for me!</i>

PC Bro 5
And you!
PC Bros
Woowoo! Yeah! Yeah! Fuck yeah!
PC Bro 5
Fuck yeah, bro! PC bro! [Cartman is now on the scene, walking with a crutch and a walkie-talkie.]
Cartman
All right, send in the pregnant Mexican women! [Butters, with a semaphore flag in each hand, gives the signal for the women to rush the house]
Pregnant Mexican Women
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
PC Bro 5
Fuck, bro?! [Cartman stops by the taco launchers, which are manned by Clyde, Craig, and Tweek]
Cartman
Fire the taco launchers! [the boys load the launchers and let fly. Tacos rain down upon the frat house. The women arrive and run into the house, picking up tacos on the way] Syrian refugee children, flank from the left! [a truck load of Syrian refugee children is waiting for the truck bed to empty out. Butters releases the cargo door and the kids flood out towards the house]
PC Bro 2
Dude, what is this, bro?!
PC Bro 6
I don't know, bro!
Cartman
[looking through some binoculars] The Syrian refugee children are in; send in Jared! [Jared appears with his arms stretched out, ready to grab anything. He follows the women and the kids into the frat house, but doesn't grab anyone. The rest of the neighborhood gathers and marches towards the house]
Stephen
What in the world is going on??
Cartman
All right, good. The pregnant Mexican women are falling asleep on the tacos. [sees Jared on the balcony trying to grab some kids, and some bros stop Jared] Jared needs backup, send in the Chinese drivers. [a split second later two cars crash into each other in front of the house.]
A PC Bro
[falls from the balcony to his death] Ohhh! [lands on his head]
Cartman
All right, the Syrian refugees are trying to protect their children! Gimme a- Oh fuck, there's Kyle. [lowers his binoculars] What the fuck are you doing, Kyle?
Kyle
Enough! Stop! Everyone STOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHP! [The camera shows his head bigger than usual and the air brighter then usual. His voice echoes across town and everyone stops in their tracks. A pregnant woman picks up a taco and runs off with it.] This is so wrong! I can't let it continue! This is not ever what I intended! I just want to say... Caitlyn Jenner is a hero. There's no other way to say it. What she did took bravery, and she is absolutely stunning. [Moments later, PC Principal steps forward and begins clapping. Once the clapping reaches normal speed, others begin to join in. A live-action shot of Brett Farve at the ESPYs "limp-clapping" is even thrown in]
Townsman
Wooo.
South Park, the dawn of a new day. Everyone gathers in the school cafeteria, which has a sign at the entrance: WELCOME TO 2015 SOUTH PARK. Inside, people are having conversations, kids are running around, Randy's butt is getting branded...
Randy
Ow, hot. Hot hot, hothohhht. [PC Bro 4 takes the branding iron off, and Randy is officially a PC Bro. He stands up and gets dressed.] Ahhh.
PC Principal
I gotta hand it to you, Marsh. You really checked that little boy's privilege. Using those Syrian refugees was genius, bro.
PC Bro 4
Yeah. I would have never thought to use offensive imagery and outrageous stereotypes to provoke someone to open their eyes.
Randy
So I'm PC now?
PC Principal
You're not only PC, you've actually changed my PC. [whips out some sunglasses] Congrats. Here's your Oakleys.
Randy
Oh wow. Oakleys! [puts them on and his voice changes] Oh yeah bro, these are sweet. [The big five stand nearby observing the small ceremony]
Stan
So I guess PC Principal is here to stay, huh?
Cartman
Yes. But at least we showed him that sometimes joking about un-PC things can actually be important, because it starts a dialogue. [Kyle lowers his eyelids and the others back away] What's wrong, Kyle? You have your cake. Eat it, too.
Kyle
It just seems to me like we all lost in this, and that the only person who won was you.
Cartman
Hmmm... And who does that remind you of, Kyle? Now if you don't mind, I'm gonna go home and fuck my hot wife. Who, kind of looks like, a dude. [Cartman hums his own version of the end theme song over the credits.]
End of Stunning and Brave
  1901: "Stunning and Brave" edit
Story Elements

PC PrincipalCrunchy's Micro BrewPC Delta • "Watch Me (Whip-Nae Nae)" • "PC Chant" • 200 Pregnant Mexican WomenSyrian Refugee Children • "Genius of Love" • PC Bros

Media

ImagesScriptWatch Video

Release

South Park: The Complete Nineteenth Season