In South Park, some made-up cures for diseases, illnesses, and other random things are portrayed. Below is a list with all of them.
- AIDS - Injecting lots of money into your bloodstream ("Tonsil Trouble")
- SARS - Chicken soup, Dayquil, and Sprite ("Red Man's Greed")
- Insanity - Bananas ("Pee")
- Brainwashing - Strippers ("The Return of Chef")
- Alcoholism - Being doused with blood from the Virgin Mary's statue's ass; though this is a placebo ("Bloody Mary")
- Ritalin - Ritalout ("Timmy 2000")
- Grey's Anatomy Coma - No purity rings ("The Ring")
- Sex Addiction - Killing the Wizard Alien, although this was a cover up by Obama ("Sexual Healing")
- In "Red Sleigh Down", Kyle Schwartz says that in order for Cartman to achieve any hope in getting presents for Christmas, he will need to find a cure for cancer and AIDS. He finds a cure for the latter in season 12, "Tonsil Trouble".
- Having common American foods and medicines (Chicken soup, Dayquil, and Sprite) makes fun of using old Native American remedies where even the most simplest things can cure diseases. This was also mocked in "Cherokee Hair Tampons".
- Other real disabilities and diseases were portrayed in "Bloody Mary", however these were not cured for alcoholism is self-controlled.