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Story Missions

Name Description
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Origins The kids are now playing superheroes. In order to fit in again, you must ditch your crown and sword, and try to make the most epic backstory ever!
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Coonstagram Head out and gain some followers on Coonstagram!
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Alternate Universes Collide Help Human Kite destroy his evil alternate self.
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The Chains of Super Craig Stripe is missing! Help Super Craig find him.
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Birth of a Coon Friend Learn the basics of artifacts.
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Rise of the Fourthies The Sixth Graders are torturing a cat at the Bus Stop. Do what every fourth grader dreams of doing, and teach them a lesson.
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Gotta Go Fast (Travel) Make life easier by discovering the Fast Travel Flag at Main Street.
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Mosquito in a Honey Pot In order to fill out the Kryptonite section on your character sheet, you must save Mosquito from the temptresses known as the Raisins Girls.
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A Touch of Faith Talk with Father Maxi so he can help you face your fears.
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The Talk Meet with Mr. Mackey to fill out the Sex/Gender section on your character sheet.
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The Burrito Whisperer The Coon wants a taco, head over to Freeman's Tacos to get him one.
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Origins 2: New Beginnings Get a second class and an updated origin story!
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Civil War The Freedom Pals are invading main street. It's up to Coon and Friends to teach them a lesson, head over there and kick their asses!
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Homeward Bound It's hometime! Go home and get to bed, ready for your first night quest.
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The Bowels of the Beast In order to find Scrambles, you must infiltrate The Peppermint Hippo and confront The Girl with the Penis Tattoo. Only she has the answer.
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CLASSIfied Go and see Classi for information on the cats.
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Alternate Universes Collide Again Help Human Kite destroy his evil alternate self again.
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Microaggression Academy Learn about microaggressions with PC Principal!
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Medicinal Fried Fiasco Learn new fart powers to get Classi's medication.
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Operation: Just 'Cause Sgt. Yates has news of a drug kingpin in town. Help him solve the case.
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The Talk 2: The Gendering Return to Mr. Mackey for an advanced talk on your gender.
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Operation: Blind Justice Sgt. Yates has more details into the drug kingpin. Go fight the real "kingpin".
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Origins 3: The Visitor Relive your origin story again as you pick a new class.
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Civil War 2: Playtime's Over The Freedom Pals are back, and they want revenge!
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Race Academy: First Class Meet with PC Principal to fill out the Race/Ethnicity section on your character sheet.
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We Need a Tool The Coon and Friends realise they need Toolshed in order to find the missing cat.
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Under Covers Head home to bed, ready for tonight's mission!
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The Hundred Hands of Chaos Go to U-STOR-IT and stop Professor Chaos once and for all!
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The Chaos Gambit Gain the help of Professor Chaos in order to infiltrate the Freedom Pals.
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The Invitation Meet Mitch Conner at SoDoSoPa.
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The Samaritan Agenda Perform with Tupperware and Wonder Tweek at the South Park Senior Center.
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Origins 4: The Omega Prologue Relive your origin story once again as you gain your fourth class.
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Heading Home Go home after gaining your new class.
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Nocturnal Submission Go to bed, ready for tonight's mission.
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The Thin White Line Stop all the corrupt cops in order to get the cat.
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Freedom Calling Head to the Freedom Pals base for some important news.
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To Catch a Coon Solve Mitch Conner's riddles in order to find his location.
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The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto Meet Mephesto to find out about the missing cats.
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Farts of Future Past Travel through time with your farts in order to stop Mitch Conner from becoming mayor.

Side Missions

Name Description
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A Perky Predicament
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A Randy Mystery Somebody's keying Randy's car! Find out who it is, and stop them.
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Always Bet on Chaos
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For Nippopolis
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Ghost Reconciler
Screenshot (1983)
Peppermint Hippo Lost & Found
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Raisins on a Rampage
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The Big Beatdown
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Therapy Wars
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Touch the Sky
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Vigilante Marketing
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(You Can) Call on Me

Scavenger Hunts

Name Description
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Scavenger Hunt: Big Gay Al's Big Gay Cats
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Scavenger Hunt: The Headshot Job
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Scavenger Hunt: The Yaoi Project