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Skank Hunt/Script

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Cast

Script

Skank Hunt
At the school gymnasium, the parents of South Park Elementary students are watching a presentation by Dr. Schroeder about internet trolls.
Dr. Wayne Schroeder
Nobody is safe. Nobody can hide from these monsters. Internet trolls are truly predators of society. As parents we find it hard to believe our children are doing these things online, and that is why I've been asked to come and speak to you about the student who has been trolling your school message boards.
He changes the PowerPoint slide, showing a defaced picture of Heidi Turner's mother an example of internet trolling by Skankhunt42.
Dr. Schroeder
This troll is known only as Skankhunt42. [He cycles to the next slide.]
Dr. Schroeder
We believe it probable he's one of the boy students here, since his favorite target seems to be women. Here, you can see Heidi Turner's mother photo shopped with a penis in her mouth, after she defended her daughter's right to sit out the national anthem.
The crowd gasps and talk among each other.
Dr. Schroeder
Since then, this child has been trolling all over the internet. Visiting message boards, and social media, and filling it with vile comments and hate-filled garbage. [The camera pans to Gerald smiling as Dr. Schroeder talks.]
Dr. Schroeder
But trolling is on the rise with teenagers, and we all need to come together to stop it. We need every parent to look for the signs in their own child.
He changes PowerPoint to a slide titled 'Signs That my Child is a Troll'.
Dr. Schroeder
In order for us to find these secretive monsters, we need all parents to ask themselves: "Could my child be a troll?".
Sheila and Gerald's car, at night and after the PTA meeting.
Sheila
My God, what children are capable of now. What kind of hate would have to be in that child's heart?
Gerald
Well, you never know, could be someone who just, kind of thinks it's funny to stir the pot and watch everyone freak out. [Sheila gives Gerald a questioning look]
Gerald
Uh, you know! Maybe the fact that it's so not funny makes it somehow funny, to kids? Gosh, I-I certainly don't understand it.
A bridge over a river, snowing. The same picture is reposted by Butters on Twitter, and Heidi looks at it on her phone sadly. Heidi then slowly walks to the side edge of the bridge. Surveying the drop, she types on her phone whilst tearing up. The camera pans up, a splash is heard, and two white birds fly past.
South Park Elementary, day. Police cars are parked outside the school. Kyle walks down the hallway past sad kids and police officers who are interviewing the teachers. He turns his head to see Bebe bawling and another girl comforting her who is also bawling. Kyle then meets Stan and Clyde.
Kyle
Dude, what's going on?
Clyde
You didn't hear?
Kyle
Hear what? What happened?
Stan
Heidi Turner. She... she quit Twitter.
Kyle
Oh no. [Heidi walks past them, looking down.]
Stan
Yesterday after school, she wrote one last tweet that said goodbye forever, and then just got off for good.
Kyle
She'll get back on.
Stan
No dude, she threw her phone in a river. She's... she's gone.
At the South Park Elementary library, Mr. Mackey sits in front of a group of 4th graders to help them cope with their loss.
Mr. Mackey
Alright students, I know we're all dealing with the loss of a good friend. We have to accept the fact that Heidi won't be on social media anymore. I know we're all gonna miss her, m'kay. We're gonna miss, seeing what she's up to; miss seeing her silly pictures she'd post of her and her friends, m'kay.
Bebe breaks down and starts crying; Red shifts over to comfort her.
Mr. Mackey
But this is what can happen when someone gets bullied online to the point they just can't go on anymore. [Kyle angrily looks over at Cartman.]
Mr. Mackey
I know that some of you are feeling anger, m'kay. [Annie, Wendy, and Nichole are angrily looking down] Some of you are feeling a little guilt, asking how something like this can happen. But the best thing we can do for Heidi, is come together as friends, and as students, m'kay.
Mr. Mackey
So now, why don't we all get on Twitter, m'kay, and just tweet some of the, things we loved about Heidi, m'kay?
Everyone takes out their phones and an begins typing tweets on Twitter in memory of Heidi. Bebe continues weeping.
Mr. Mackey
M'kay. Oh, that's nice, that's nice, m'kay. Oh, that's a good one Sarah, uh-huh. That-that's a - that's a pretty poem. Nice Butters. Oh, Heidi would have loved this so much. This is so special, m'kay.
At the South Park Elementary cafeteria, most girls are upset and the boys are eating at a table.
Stan
Okay. Can we all agree now, [Stan glares at Cartman] that whoever is doing this, needs to stop?
Cartman
Totally, you guys; this has gone far enough. [Kyle looks unimpressed.] The girls are really pissed off at us. [He drinks from a milk carton.]
Stan
So tonight, whoever is doing this, isn't going to do it again! 'Cause if he does, we're gonna have to do something about it!
Cartman
You hear that guys? It'd better not happen again tonight! [Kyle still looks unimpressed.] I am so, seriously.
Broflovskis' residence, night. Ike is playing Minecraft on his computer. Gerald enters Ike's room
Gerald
Ike? Can I talk to you? [Takes a seat on Ike's bed] Come on, pull up a chair.
Ike stops playing and sits next to Gerald.
Gerald
You know, we had a big parent meeting at the school tonight, and uh, apparently, there's someone trolling the school message boards and, putting... penises in people's mouths. And whoever it was then got a big reaction from it, so he's now putting penises in people's mouths all over the internet. And... he's actually getting pretty famous!
Gerald
Sooo, Annie Jerkin's mother started an online campaign to stop internet trolling with a picture of her and her daughter, and you know what happened? She got a dick in her mouth!
Gerald
Ha-okay, okay, I know, it's just guy humor stuff, you know. We can laugh about about it here, but, it is serious too. Well, love you pal. Get to sleep, it's a school night.
Gerald smiles at Ike before leaving. In the hallway, Sheila encounters Gerald
Gerald
Oh, hey!
Sheila
Did you talk to him?
Gerald
Yeah, yeah, we talked. It was good.
Sheila
Oh, that's good.
Gerald
Yeah, well, I'd better go and get some of my work done.
Sheila
Oh, right, right, yeah.
Gerald
Yeah, don't wait up. I'll be a while with these stupid case profiles.
Sheila
All right. Night Gerald.
Gerald
Night sweetie. [Gerald receives a kiss from Sheila]
In his office, Gerald turns on the lights and puts Smokin' by Boston on his turntable in the background. He pours some wine from a hidden compartment into a glass, sits at his desk, puts on his glasses, and starts surfing on Facebook. Text boxes pop up as background impressions voice over them.
Woman 1
Hey! Just wanna remind everyone about the ice cream social to benefit homeless teens. Looking for volunteers.
Gerald
Hey, I'd like to volunteer to kick you in the vagina! Where do I sign up?!
More surfing of Facebook
Woman 2
This is my daughter at the triathlon today! Go little girl!
Gerald
Your daughter has a mustache - what the hell is wrong with your ovaries bitch?!
Camera pans away from Gerald. A woman looks appalled after reading Gerald's post on her computer. Another woman is in shown also shocked. Gerald continues his trolling onslaught.
Commentator
You've been dick-slapped!
A couple are dining at a restaurant, but the woman becomes outraged after reading another of Gerald's posts on her phone. The man also becomes outraged after she shows it to him.
Gerald types on his 2 computers along to the notes of a keyboard. In a bathroom, a man on the toilet is startled after reading yet another of Gerald's post on his tablet. Explosions of various buildings start appearing. Gerald continues his relentless assault, also targeting Annie, who becomes enraged.
2 elephants are shown humping. A clip shows how Gerald photoshops dicks into women's mouths. Then at a Boston concert, Gerald reenacts playing the keyboard by typing on his computers. A traditional man spins 2 rods that are on fire.
Finally, Gerald yawns and calls it a night, taking his glass of wine and leaving the room. South Park Elementary, day. The girls are gathered at the playground, and Wendy paces back and forth
Bebe
You should've seen what he said about my mother on her Instagram! Pages and pages of disgusting things!
Annie
This is an attack on all of us! It's time to make the boys suffer!
Wendy
It has to be swift and serious. We have to make a statement. The girls in South Park aren't going to be treated like afterthoughts anymore!
Girls (except Heidi Turner)
Yeah!
A backview shot of the boys is shown, with the girls in the background.
Annie
This has gone on too long and it's time to do something!
Girls (except Heidi Turner)
Yeah!
Clyde
[The boys are now the focus.] What do you think they're talking about?
Butters
They're talking about how they're gonna get us - what do you think? That's how the world works now. You get blamed for the group you belong to, even if you didn't do nothing!
Boy's Restroom, outside.
Butters
What are we gonna do about them?
Boy's Restroom, inside. The boys are gathered and Stan paces back and forth
Kyle
The girls want to see Cartman punished so we have to prove it's him.
Craig
We're never gonna prove that and you know it! We have to make him stop!
Butters
He's not gonna stop, he's loving all this! He wants the girls to hurt us!
Clyde
Then let's end it.
Jimmy
What do you mean?
Clyde
Cartman is the cause of all our problems. Always. We all know what has to be done.
The boys look at Clyde with surprise and dread. Stan stops pacing
Clyde
It's not like we haven't talked about it before - fantasized about how we'd do it.
Kyle
Yeah, but not like we'd actually do it.
Stan
Clyde's right.
Kyle
Stan... You can't be thinking that we'd-
Stan
What else do we do Kyle? You know better than anybody what a monster he is.
Token
He pushed everyone too far.
Butters
It's him, or us!
Kyle
Are we seriously talking about doing this?
Craig
How would we ever get away with it?
Stan
We do it out in the woods. I know how to get him to go.
In the school hallway, Cartman listens to some music while sitting. He notices the boys walking up to him
Cartman
'Sup dudes?
The boys are all looking down. Stan talks in an unenthusiastic tone.
Stan
After school, we're gonna go to my uncle's cabin - in the woods. We're gonna have a slumber party and play Counter Strike all night with no one around to bother us.
Cartman
[Stands up excited] Are you serious?! All night broship Counter Strike party? That's fucking sweet! Does your uncle's cabin have good wifi?
Stan
Yeah, but don't tell anyone where you're going. We don't want adults to know cause there's gonna be a ton of junk food.
Cartman
Bros!! Dude, that's so awesome! This is gonna be the best night ever!
Counsellor's office. Mr. Mackey sits at his desk holding a bunch of Member Berries.
Berries
'Member TIE fighters? Oh, 'member Jawas? 'Member? Hey, 'member Jurassic Park? Ooh, you love Jurassic Park. 'Member Jeff Goldblum? Oh, I 'member Jeff Goldblum - he was really tasty. [Mr. Mackey plucks one berry and eats it] I love Jeff Goldblum. 'Member?
Mr. Mackey
Mueeh...
Scott Malkinson barges into the counselor's office, startling Mr. Mackey who quickly puts away the Member Berries in his desk drawer.
Scott
I can't do this anymore! I can't take it!
Mr. Mackey
Oh! Er, hi Scott.[Scott sits on the chair in front of Mr. Mackey.]
Scott
Nobody ever pays attention to me! Nobody cares! I just want to end it all!
Mr. Mackey
Scott, come on, we've talked about this. You don't wanna quit Twitter.
Scott
Why not?! Everyone would be happier if I did!
Mr. Mackey
Who'd be happier?
Scott
Everyone.
Mr. Mackey
Well, what about your parents, huh? How'd you think they'd feel if you quit Twitter?
Scott
I don't think they'd even notice!
Mr. Mackey
Of course they'd notice. They'd be saad, m'kay, they'd be saad. You've got so much ahead of you Scott; so many posts and tweets still ahead of you. You haven't even started to see what social media has to offer you. You can't-you can't just end it all. Not now.
Scott
You're right, I guess I don't want to quit Twitter.
Mr. Mackey
There you go, m'kay? But now you come back here anytime you're having bad thoughts, m'kay?
Scott
Okay, thanks.
Scott leaves the office. Mr. Mackey starts to retrieve the Member Berries, but Scott barges in again, forcing Mr. Mackey to return the Member Berries again.
Scott
Twitter would be better off without me! I'm quitting!
Mr. Mackey
Okay, okay. Now, Scott-[Scott takes the seat again]
Scott
What's the point!? Better to just end it all now!
Mr. Mackey
O-kay...
In the woods the boys, who are still looking down and unenthusiastic, and Cartman, are trekking along a dirt path, bringing along their electronics.
Cartman
This is gonna be so awesome. Just hanging with the bros playing Counter Strike all night. Alone in the woods - you pumped Token?
Token
Yeah, I'm really excited.
Cartman
I'm totally gonna do some massive pwnage. Whoever's on my team will be stoked. My laptop's so fast it doesn't lag at all. I can jump around like a pwnage powerhouse.
Clyde
I'm sure you will.
Cartman
You guys all seem kinda, like, bummed out. Is everything cool?
Stan
Everything's fine Cartman. We'll just get there sooner if maybe we don't talk much.
Cartman
Okay, cool. Goin' a long way to play Counter Strike. Guess it's sweet though there won't be any adults to screw it up for us. How much further now?
Kyle
We're almost there.
At sunset, they arrive at the cabin.
Cartman
This place has sweet wifi, right? Gon' be so awesome.
In the city, at a campaign-headquarters during the day, a supervisor is walking around.
Man
Oh my God. Oh my God! Oh my God!
Supervisor
[Walks to the man.] What's wrong?
Man
Someone keeps trolling our campaign site!
The supervisor takes a closer look at the man's computer screen.
Man
He just keeps leaving horrible comments, and now he's attacking me personally!
Supervisor
Aww, don't let him get to you.
Man
Don't let him-?! He took a picture I posted and put a dick in my mouth! Who does that?!
Supervisor
Someone who probably still lives with his mother and hates himself. He obviously has nothing better to do. Just let him wallow in his own misery.
At his house, during the day, Gerald leaves the house very cheerfully. Steal My Sunshine by Len starts playing as Gerald strides down the road. He cheerfully gets out of the way of a car after the driver honked. Passing by 2 neighbors arguing about the election ignorantly, he nearly gets knocked over by a biker, but blissfully passes it off.
At the supermarket, Gerald picks up a bottle of wine and happily skips to the checkout, passing by the Member Berries' section
Berries
'Member the Cantina? Oh-hoh, I 'member. 'Member Star Destroyers? Yeah, I love Star Destroyers! 'Member?
Woman 3
[To the cashier.] I have a coupon for that too. An-and those are 6 for $4 with this coupon. [To Gerald] Sorry.
Gerald
Oh, no please. It's no problem at all!
On his way home that evening, Gerald slowly dances back to his house.
Outside his office at school, Mr. Mackey is locking up, but Scott Malkinson walks up behind him.
Scott
I'm gonna do it! [Mr. Mackey turns a worried, then frustrated look] I'm gonna quit Twitter, I mean it this time!
Mr. Mackey
Ohh, Scott, uh, I-it's sort of after hours, m'kay?
Scott
They all laugh at me. They won't be laughing when I do it! I'll show them!
Mr. Mackey
Hah, alright Scott. Come on inside. Huumm...
He unlocks the office door, then goes inside with Scott.
In the woods, at night, the boys finally reach the cabin.
Cartman
Oh, dude, is this it? This is cool. So isolated. [Camera shows a hole and shovel in the ground] Check it out, there's a shovel next to a hole dug in the ground.
Inside the cabin, Cartman eagerly goes over to the table at the far end and puts his items on it, while the boys form behind him.
Cartman
Dude, is this where we're gonna play? I call dibs on this side! What's the wifi called? Is there a password?
Kyle closes the cabin door. Everybody takes out a weapon, except for Cartman.
Cartman
I don't see it - I don't see it coming up on my laptop. I don't know, I think maybe the wifi's not working. Where's the box? [Cartman picks up his devices]
Cartman
You gotta unplug it and plug it back in. [Turning around] You guys? You guys...? There's...no wifi...
Clyde
The girls are gonna do something drastic to us. We have to take matters into our own hands.
Cartman
What are you...What are you guys talking about - What-
Stan
You brought this on yourself, Cartman. We're sorry.
Cartman
Oh my God. Oh my God, you guys are gonna break all my stuff so I can't get online!
Kyle
Just put your stuff on the table and step back.
Cartman
Please! Please don't break my stuff you guys! This is like, 2 Christmases and a birthday worth of stuff! You guys can't do this! Please!
Token
Let's just get it over with!
Cartman
No, don't-get-it-over-with! Don't break my stuff! I'm not SkankHunt, I'm not! You guys, you guys, you don't have to do this! You-don't-have-to-do-this! We can still just play Counter Strike, and forget everything! Oh-my-God, there's no wifi - We can use my phone, to make a hotspot and we can still play Counter Strike! And it'll be sweet! You guys, come on, please! Please, you can't!
Clyde
I can't listen to this!
Cartman
Please, Clyde! Clyde, you're my friend! Please, y-you know how much - I - need - my - stuff!
Craig
Let's just get it over with! [Walks up to Cartman]
Cartman
No please! If I can't get online, I won't-how would I-I- [Mumbling.]]
Craig stabs Cartman's laptop with his knife. The rest of the boys start advancing forward.
Cartman
No, God! No! Don't! Don't!! Don't!! Oh my God!!
Cartman's electronics are knocked onto the table, and subsequently destroyed by the boys
Cartman
Oh my God!! Oh my God!! Oh my God!! Aahh!! Niah!! Niaah!! Iaahh!! Iaahh!! Niaaahhhh!!!
Cartman passes out. Outside the cabin after some time, the hole is filled up, and Token pats the soil with the shovel. The boys look horrified.
Stan
What have we done?
Kyle
What we had to do.
Cartman
[Off screen.] Iaahh!!
In his bedroom, with the lights off, Mr. Mackey is sleeping when his phone starts ringing. Mr. Mackey jolts up from the ringing, puts his glasses on and sees the caller is Scott Malkinson.
Mr. Mackey
Oh, Goddammit. You've got to be kidding me. [Sighs, then answers phone.] This is Counselor Mackey. What's going on Scott?
Scott is on his phone while off his bed, grabbing onto a pillow.
Scott
I swear to God I'm gonna do it this time.
Mr. Mackey
Okay Scott, just try to calm down. You don't want to quit Twitter.
Scott
Why does it matter? People would be happier if I just did it!
Mr. Mackey
That's not true, no one would be happier. [Brings the phone away from his face.]
Mr. Mackey
This fucking kid, oh my god... [Brings the phone back to his ear.] Everybody thinks you're a great kid, Scott.
Scott
I-I talked to my dad. He said, "I don't have the guts to do it!". Well, if I'd quit Twitter, he'd be sorry!
Mr. Mackey
Okay, umm, how 'bout this, just umm, promise me you won't quit Twitter tonight, and we can - we can talk all day tomorrow, okay? M'kay?
Scott
I don't know if I'll make it through the night!
Mr. Mackey
[off phone] Oh, for fuck's sake...
Scott
I just feel like I'm at the edge of a cliff, you know, and being chased by hate. And the only way out is to jump!
Mr. Mackey
[on phone] Uh-huh, okay, go on with that.
Scott
I keep thinking about what the kids at school would do, when they find out I left all my social media. Like they would finally see all the damage they've done.
Mr. Mackey
[off phone] Goddammit, just do it already...
At home, at night, Gerald is again trolling online with Smokin' by Boston playing. However, just before leaving, his computer screen lights up with a Google alert, notifying Gerald that he was mentioned on CNN. Gerald clicks on the video link.
CNN Reporter
Another internet troll is wreaking havoc on message boards, this time attacking a Danish website for women with breast cancer.
Gerald
I made the news...
CNN Reporter
The troll, who goes by the name "SkankHunt42", ...
Gerald
[He claps his hands.] Yes!
CNN Reporter
...caused the website to temporarily shutdown. Danish Olympic Gold Medalist Freja Ollegard, who started the website, spoke out about the incident. [The inset video of Freja Ollegard zooms in.]
Freja Ollegard
I am not shocked. I am not sad. I am not giving this pitiful person the satisfaction of being anything. [Gerald listens intently].
Freja Ollegard
This little troll can have his fun. I am going to be the bigger person. I am going to show the people of Denmark are not so easily broken down.
Gerald
Hmm...Game on whore. Game on.
Gerald starts furiously typing on his computer, and a shadow appears on his wall by the computer screen's illumination. The camera pans to the shadow.
At South Park Elementary the next day, Kyle walks through the hallway again, but this time the girls are angrily slamming their lockers before walking away. He meets Stan and Clyde again.
Kyle
What's going on?
Stan
You didn't hear?
Kyle
Hear what?
Stan
The troll, SkankHunt, Kyle. He was all over the internet last night!
Kyle
No, that's impossible!
Stan
It wasn't him Kyle! We took Cartman out for no reason. [Cartman walks past looking down] We can't undo what we've done.
Kyle
Oh my God. Oh my God...
Inside Bebe's room, the girls are gathered. Wendy looks unsure.
Nelly
The time has come. We said if the trolling didn't stop, there would be severe consequences. Get the word out to every girl in school. It goes down tomorrow!
Wendy
Oh my God...I don't know if I can go through with this.
Nichole
We all have to be on-board Wendy. Every girl in school, or it means nothing.
Annie
Don't forget what you said Wendy: "For too long girls here have taken the backseat! Things have to change!". Now they'll have to listen.
At South Park Elementary, the following day, Gortoz a Ran by Denez Prigant plays in the background. Annie hides behind some hallway lockers till her boyfriend passes by. She catches up and gives a note to him, then leaves. The note reads: "I'm breaking up with you forever. Annie.". The boy falls to his knees, drops the note and yells as tears stream down his cheeks, 'No!' in slow motion.
Kevin receives a note too from Red, as well as all the boys with girlfriends. Girls run down the hallway holding notes like a deadly mob. The library. Clyde, clutching his hair, cries alone at a table with a note in front of him, tears streaming down his face.
Kindergarten couples also break up too, as a girl gives a boy a note that reads: "I brake up.". This results in the boy face planting into his toy blocks construction. Token also receives a note from Nichole at the basketball court that reads: "I break up. Goodbye. Don't call. Nichole". Token falls to his knees, broken.
In the Boy's Restroom, 2 boys who received notes resort to hugging each other for comfort. Playground. Kyle is sitting alone on the swings with his class picture in hand, and his eye starts tearing up when he sees Cartman fade from the picture.
In the hallway, any boys are crying in corners, notes strewn and crumpled. Stan walks down the hallway, glancing at the boys before encountering Wendy. Wendy regrettably holds out the note in her hand. Stan hesitantly takes the note, and reads: "This is goodbye forever, Stan. I can't fix you. Wendy". When Stan looks up, Wendy is gone from view
End of Skank Hunt
  2002: "Skank Hunt" edit
Story Elements

Skankhunt42TwitterFreja OllegardDr. Wayne SchroederScott Malkinson •"Smokin'" • "Steal My Sunshine" • "Gortoz A Ran"

Media

ImagesScriptWatch Video

Release

South Park: The Complete Twentieth Season

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