As a concerned parent, Randy radically changes the way football is played at South Park Elementary. The new version of the game quickly becomes the nation’s most popular sport. One gifted student emerges as a star athlete in Sarcastaball.
The episode begins with the boys, Butters Stotch, and Randy Marsh watching a game of football on TV when Stan Marsh tells his father that South Park Elementary doesn't let them do kickoffs when they are playing football because kickoffs are the most dangerous plays in football, which pisses off Randy. At the PTA meeting, Randy sarcastically suggests that the players should wear bras and tin-foil hats, that there should be a balloon instead of a ball, and the person who catches the balloon can run for the goal while the other players hug and call it "sarcastaball". Mr. Mackey takes him seriously and Randy is soon the South Park Elementary Sarcastaball head coach. The sport quickly becomes very popular and replaces football. Randy is now the head coach of the Denver Broncos, and Butters takes over as the South Park coach.
That night Butters has a wet dream and saves his creamy goo, which is actually semen but is unaware of this because his father always avoids answering what it is.
Later, Cartman seeks Butters' help for sarcastaball since he is the coach and Butters gives Cartman some of his semen, which he thinks is his creamy goo. Cartman drinks the semen and thinks he feels better.
Meanwhile, Randy is confronted by Sharon Marsh who thinks something is wrong with Randy's brain because he's so sarcastic. At a South Park game it is shown that everyone is drinking Butters' semen. Randy and Sharon then go to the doctor where they found out that Randy will always be sarcastic. Randy and the doctor, both being sarcastic, come up with the idea to take the money from cancer and other genetic diseases research and make commercials about how sarcasm might be bad for your brain.
Soon after, Jim Rome recommends a new product for sarcastaball, Butters' Creamy Goo. At yet another South Park game, Randy tries to stop Stan from playing more sarcastaball. After he protests, Randy tells the crowd, trying not to be sarcastic, that sarcastaball should stop. Stan gives his dad some of Butters' Creamy Goo. Randy realizes that it's semen and tells Butters' parents. Butters is then grounded.
When Butters falls asleep, he gets an erection, and he yells for his father. His father tells him it's his friendly compass, and that it's pointing up because Jesus is his friend. Butters then promptly thanks his dad for telling him.