Randy's excessive consumption of P.F. Chang's produces constipation that creates a world record sized crap, until Bono makes a bigger one.
Randy's visit to the doctor leads him to discover he is constipated, and when he finally does go to the toilet for the first time in three weeks it is incredibly painful. About to flush the chain, he notices the size of the dump, and is amazed. Sharon and Shelly do not agree, but Stan is amazed.
After days of being miserable, the guys at the local bar convince Randy to have another go at world's biggest crap.
Three weeks later, Bono discovers that Randy is trying to break the record and demands that Randy must crap in front of the European Fecal Standards and Measurements Board. The doctor however, tells Randy he cannot travel.
Stan goes to Bono's mansion to try and convince the star to let his dad win because he's never won anything in his life. Bono refuses. Stan pleads with him asking if he could let his dad be number one and Bono could be happy with being number two. Bono viciously attacks Stan, threatening him into telling him he's not number two, his butler tells Stan that his dad will die if he takes that crap. Stan questions how Bono crapped so much and didn't die, but the butler reveals a secret...
Making it to Zurich, Stan informs everyone at the European Fecal Standards and Measurements Board that Bono was not the record holder, but the record itself. A member of the Board admits he crapped Bono out, and nurtured him into what he is now. Which is supposed to explain how Bono could do so much to help people yet still seem like such a piece of crap. Randy then craps, his feces are so huge he is blasted upwards sitting upon it. A sign saying "Emmy award winning series" (which has been regularly displaying at the bottom of the screen since the beginning of the episode) appears, and a Board member, surprisingly, grabs it and sticks it in Randy's crap.