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List of Stan Marsh Quotes

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This article is a list of quotes involving the South Park character, Stan Marsh.

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Stan: I'm not getting on this bus, you fat ugly bitch!

Miss Crabtree: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Stan: I said I'm not getting on this bus, you fat ugly bitch.

Miss Crabtree: Oh. Okay.

Stan: (to Kyle) Always wondered if that would work...

Stan: I hate my family.

Stan: (after watching Kenny have his face sheared off) Well, who didn't see that coming?

Cartman: There's no choice. We have to kill Kyle.

Stan: Yeah, or we could just stop hanging out with him.

Stan: I want to return this Margaritaville! My dad bought it on a payment plan set up by a finance company that got investors from Wall Street who combined it into securities sold to the banks who transferred it to you!

Treasurer: Oh, that makes sense.

Stan: GAH!

Police Deputizer: Yep, you have authority over all of them.

Cartman: I have authoritah?

Deputizer: That's right. And people must respect it.

Cartman: Well, that should be fine, just fine.

Deputizer: Fine, just fine.

Cartman: Fine.

Stan: (to Kyle) Oh no, nothing's worse than Cartman with authoritaah.


Stan: Cartman, you're retarded.

Cartman: One fourth of Americans believe that Stan, are you calling one fourth of Americans retarded?

Stan: Yes, i am calling one fourth of Americans retarded.

Kyle: Yeah, at least one fourth.

Stan: Lets do a head count, there is four of us, you're retarded, that's one fourth.

Cartman: God damn it! Screw you guys, I'm going home!


Ms. Ellen: Stan Marsh?

Stan: (in the act of throwing up) Blehh!

Ms. Ellen: Oh my! Stan do you need to go to the nurse's office?

Cartman: No Ma'am, he always throws up when he is in love.

Stan: I am gonna kick your fucking balls Fat Ass!!


Kyle: Hey look! There's Wendy Testaburger!

Stan: *gasps* Where?

*she's seen walking into view with her lunch, she looks at Stan, she looks at him, the love theme from "Romeo and Juliet: Fantasy Overture" by Tchaikovsky plays, little hearts dance around Stan's head, Stan suddenly brandishes a humongous goofy looking Charlie Brown-esque smile that goes from ear to ear*

Cartman: (in a sing songy voice) Stan wants to ki-iss, Wendy Testa-burger!

Stan: Shut up fatass, I don't even like her!

Cartman: I'm not fat, and you obviously like her because you throw up every time she talks to you.

Stan: *defensively* I do not!

Wendy: Hi guys. *Stan looks nervous*

Kyle/Cartman: Hi Wendy!

Wendy: Here Stan, this is for you! *he pukes* Eww! *leaves*

Kyle/Cartman: Bye Wendy!

Kyle: Dude, what does the note say?

Stan: HOLY CRAP! It says she wants to meet me at Stark's Pond after school!

Kyle: Whoa, maybe you can kiss her!

Cartman: Or slip her the tongue!

Kenny: (Or look at the cat on her feet then touch her!)

Stan: What? How do you know she has a cat? *stops to think for a bit...Kenny bursts out laughing, he and the others catch on and laugh*

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