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Stan: I'm not getting on this bus, you fat ugly bitch!
Miss Crabtree: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Stan: I said I'm not getting on this bus, you fat ugly bitch.
Miss Crabtree: Oh. Okay.
Stan: (to Kyle) Always wondered if that would work...
Stan: I hate my family.
Stan: (after watching Kenny have his face sheared off) Well, who didn't see that coming?
Cartman: There's no choice. We have to kill Kyle.
Stan: Yeah, or we could just stop hanging out with him.
Stan: I want to return this Margaritaville! My dad bought it on a payment plan set up by a finance company that got investors from Wall Street who combined it into securities sold to the banks who transferred it to you!
Treasurer: Oh, that makes sense.
Police Deputizer: Yep, you have authority over all of them.
Cartman: I have authoritah?
Deputizer: That's right. And people must respect it.
Cartman: Well, that should be fine, just fine.
Deputizer: Fine, just fine.
Stan: (to Kyle) Oh no, nothing's worse than Cartman with authoritaah.
Stan: Cartman, you're retarded.
Cartman: One fourth of Americans believe that Stan, are you calling one fourth of Americans retarded?
Stan: Yes, i am calling one fourth of Americans retarded.
Kyle: Yeah, at least one fourth.
Stan: Lets do a head count, there is four of us, you're retarded, that's one fourth.
Cartman: God damn it! Screw you guys, I'm going home!
Ms. Ellen: Stan Marsh?
Stan: (in the act of throwing up) Blehh!
Ms. Ellen: Oh my! Stan do you need to go to the nurse's office?
Cartman: No Ma'am, he always throws up when he is in love.
Stan: I am gonna kick your fucking balls Fat Ass!!
Kyle: Hey look! There's Wendy Testaburger!
Stan: *gasps* Where?
*she's seen walking into view with her lunch, she looks at Stan, she looks at him, the love theme from "Romeo and Juliet: Fantasy Overture" by Tchaikovsky plays, little hearts dance around Stan's head, Stan suddenly brandishes a humongous goofy looking Charlie Brown-esque smile that goes from ear to ear*
Cartman: (in a sing songy voice) Stan wants to ki-iss, Wendy Testa-burger!
Stan: Shut up fatass, I don't even like her!
Cartman: I'm not fat, and you obviously like her because you throw up every time she talks to you.
Stan: *defensively* I do not!
Wendy: Hi guys. *Stan looks nervous*
Kyle/Cartman: Hi Wendy!
Wendy: Here Stan, this is for you! *he pukes* Eww! *leaves*
Kyle/Cartman: Bye Wendy!
Kyle: Dude, what does the note say?
Stan: HOLY CRAP! It says she wants to meet me at Stark's Pond after school!
Kyle: Whoa, maybe you can kiss her!
Cartman: Or slip her the tongue!
Kenny: (Or look at the cat on her feet then touch her!)
Stan: What? How do you know she has a cat? *stops to think for a bit...Kenny bursts out laughing, he and the others catch on and laugh*