At a toy store, Cartman encounters a boy named Thomas with Tourette's syndrome. After learning about the disease, Cartman bounds off in joy, singing "(I've Got a) Golden Ticket". The next day Liane Cartman takes him to the doctor, believing he has Tourette's. After being diagnosed, Cartman innocently explains that the school staff will not understand what is wrong, but the doctor assures him the school will be informed.
The next day, Cartman walks through school swearing at everyone he passes. Kyle warns him that Principal Victoria is nearby, but Cartman greets her with insults as well. Due to him being diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome, this incites no negative reaction from her. Kyle questions the authenticity of Cartman's behavior and claims that he is faking. Cartman takes Kyle to one side and explains to him that he missed the previous day's assembly, which explained Cartman's condition. Kyle tells him that he doesn't have it, and Cartman sarcastically claps, congratulating Kyle on his realization. Cartman explains how brilliant it is, and that Kyle can go tell everyone how he's faking, but Kyle ignores and walks on. Cartman continues his false tirade by greeting Mr. Mackey, then spewing vulgarities at him.
Ms. Garrison, who cannot tolerate Cartman who is being too distracting, goes to Principal Victoria about his distracting behavior. Principal Victoria introduces Garrison to Mr. Donaldson, from the Tourette's Tolerance and Understanding Foundation, who has come to teach about the disease. At that moment, Kyle enters pursued by Cartman who is frantically apologizing. Kyle explains Cartman is making his disease up, but Mr. Donaldson is extremely angered at this, as he too has Tourette's, and dubs Kyle a bully. Kyle is taken to the Children's Therapy Center where Mr. Donaldson runs a support group. The children, including Thomas, explain about Tourette's and that it isn't fun. Kyle apologizes, unable to explain how only Cartman was faking. Kyle, accompanied by his parents outside, is forced to apologize to Cartman. Kyle reluctantly does so, and Cartman heads off happily.
Meanwhile on DatelineChris Hansen announces he has received a letter from a "brave little boy with Tourette's" (Cartman) who wants them to film him. Knowing he plans to use his television appearance to say anti-Semitic hate speech, Kyle confronts Cartman to try to stop him. Cartman refuses, and Kyle vows to not to give up. Cartman asks Kyle if he has any idea how liberating it is to say whatever comes to mind without restriction, before accidentally says he wet his bed last night.
At Whistlin' Willy's, everyone congratulates Cartman for his bravery. It's announced he will go on national television as the spokesperson for Tourette's, which worries Thomas. Cartman accidentally blurts out things such as he's making the whole thing up and that he cries at night because he doesn't have a dad. After slipping up about his crush on Patty Nelson, he dashes to the bathroom. He realizes that he's said whatever he wants so long without thinking about it, he's lost the ability filter anything. Cartman asks Butters what he should do, passing it off as his cousin who is experiencing this, but then says that he and cousin "touched wieners". Cartman then dashes out the building in complete embarrassment.
Cartman then visits Chris Hansen and explains that he won't be doing the show because his grandmother died, but afterwards dismissively blurts out that she's fine. Hansen informs him that he was tracking a pedophile during To Catch a Predator, and the pedophile got away. Dateline eventually found him, but the pedophile committed suicide. Hansen threatens that he hopes Cartman will not have to be tracked down only to find him committing suicide in the same manner. Five minutes before the show, Cartman prays to God begging for a miracle.
Outside the studio, Kyle and Thomas concoct a plan. Thomas invites pedophiles into the studio, pretending it is his home. When the pedophiles are in the studio, they recognize Hansen and realizing that they are on Dateline, commit suicide. The terrified audience flee the studio followed by Hansen, who Thomas blurts obscenities at. Craig calls Thomas the luckiest boy in the world, and asks him if he'd like to hang out some time.
In the studio, Kyle tells Cartman he is beaten and won't be going on television - Cartman hugs Kyle, to his surprise, and thanks him, explaining how he's been saved and that he will now get help. As he skips off singing "(I've Got a) Golden Ticket", Kyle and Thomas simultaneously say "Aw, shit!".