Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ

Gallery

Jesus Christ
Character Information
Gender	Male
Race	Deity/Human (Middle Eastern)
Hair	Brown
Age	Unknown (Likely 2029)
Date of Birth	4 BC
Died	AD 30 / 33 (Revived) "Red Sleigh Down" (Revived) "Fantastic Easter Special" (Revived)
Occupation	Founder of Christianity Member of Super Best Friends Host of Jesus n' Pals
Religion	Roman Catholic Formerly: Judaism Christianity
Voiced by	Matt Stone
Wikipedia	Jesus
Relatives
Biological-Father	God
Mother	Mary
Legal-Father	Saint Joseph
Appearances
First	The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs. Frosty Series: "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride"

Jesus Christ is God's son, Lord and Saviour, and the founder of Catholicism and Christianity. He has appeared in many episodes. Among his various appearances on the show, Jesus has been seen hosting his own public access television call-in show, Jesus and Pals. He is a member of the superhero group, Super Best Friends.

Background

In "Damien", Jesus has to fight a boxing match against Satan, the Prince of Darkness after his son goes to South Park Elementary. When Jesus fights Satan, every resident of South Park believed he was sure to lose and so, they bet on Satan, resulting in only one person betting on Jesus. That person turned out to be Satan, who throws the match in order to fulfill his plan to steal the townspeople's money to buy real estate.

In "The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka", Jesus appears once again as the host of his call-in show Jesus and Pals. Unfortunately, His show is being outdone in terms of ratings by Jimbo Kern and Ned Gerblansky's show Huntin' and Killin'. In order to compete, Jesus' producer forces him to adopt a less professional style of presentation, fabricating lies in order to increase ratings. By the end of the episode, Jesus has had enough and sends his producer to Hell.

In "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics", Jesus appeared twice, once as a baby during Eric Cartman's performance of "O Holy Night", and again during his own duet with Santa, in which he performed a medley of different Christmas songs.

He was also featured in season three for South Park's millennium New Years' episode, "Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus". In the episode, he is worried that for the new millennium, he may get crucified again, so he seizes the new millennium as an opportunity to do something cool. Jesus asks his Father to come down to Earth to impress everyone, but God refuses.

Jesus writes to God in "Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus".

Instead, Jesus organizes a Rod Stewart comeback concert. When Rod Stewart could not perform, the crowd goes to crucify Jesus. Jesus sulks with Stan Marsh, who has not got his period yet. Jesus then realizes that God cannot solve everybody's problem and that he should not have asked God to help Him, which cheers up Jesus. With his lesson learned, the Almighty finally does appear to the masses gathered and tells Stan that he is a boy, and boys do not get periods.

Jesus later appears in the fifth-season episode entitled "Super Best Friends", wherein Jesus and other traditional religious prophets, teachers, heroes, and demigods combine forces to fight the evil magician, and head of the Blaintology cult, David Blaine. Jesus' power was master carpentry skills, and he performed his biblical miracles by asking the crowd to turn around while Jesus gets what he needs then he asks the crowd to turn back around, to see his "miracle".

In the season six finale, "Red Sleigh Down", he was killed by an Iraqi insurgent by a gunshot through the back while on a high-risk mission to rescue Santa Claus. He was not seen as an actual character since, until "Fantastic Easter Special", where he has to stop Bill Donohue from becoming Pope.

In "Cartoon Wars Part II", he was featured as a mock-cartoon character in an "Al-Qaeda" production featuring Americans defecating all over each other. The cartoon was an inflammatory retaliation against Family Guy showing an image of Muhammad.

Jesus fighting a Xenomorph in "Imaginationland, Episode III".

He was also in "Imaginationland", as a member of the Council of Nine, where he and the council discussed the evil imaginary creatures attacking the good side of Imaginationland. Jesus is then seen fighting in the battle, where he is battling against a Xenomorph from the movie Alien until Butters imagines an M-60 for Jesus, which Jesus promptly uses to help win the battle.

In "Fantastic Easter Special", it is revealed that the man Jesus chose to be the first Pope, St. Peter, was not a man at all but a rabbit. The reason he chose a rabbit to lead Christianity was that he knew no one man can speak for God without becoming corrupt while rabbits are pure. But the Catholic Church, viewing it as blasphemy, covered up the truth and put a man in charge. Ever since then, the secret organization, the Hare Club for Men has been painting Easter Eggs to keep the secret alive.

In "200" and "201", he appears along with the other Super Best Friends. In "201", he is watching porn while Buddha snorts some cocaine. However, they later get on their power cycles and move out to stop Mecha-Streisand, which they succeed in by having Krishna transform into Neil Diamond to sing a duet with her.

Jesus at P.F. Pityef Bracelet Factory

In "A Scause For Applause", Jesus is found utilizing the drug HGH during his crucifixion, he sneaks into the scientist's house trying to discredit him but meets Stan accidentally. They both decide to focus people's attention on Belarusian Farmers, so they go to P.F. Pityef Bracelet Factory for bracelets. Unfortunately, those farmers are killed, and it turns out that the factory owner is a phony. Jesus takes doses of HGH and becomes a hulk, destroying the factory and killing its owner. Later he appeals to everyone to wear their causes on T-shirts.

Appearance

Jesus has long brown hair and a goatee. He usually wears a long white robe and has a halo above his head. Following his appearance in "Super Best Friends", he had a slight redesign, additions included a red sash and an updated robe. Prior to his redesign, Jesus's eyes were slightly further apart than the majority of South Park characters.

Like Jimbo, Ned, and Officer Barbrady, his nose is invisible. However, it can only be seen when his head is in profile view.

To see images of Jesus Christ, visit Jesus Christ/Gallery.

Powers and Abilities

In "Super Best Friends", Jesus initially did not appear to have any special powers, simply tricking people with simple tricks, such as telling everyone to turn around, and then quickly replacing a jug of water with a jug of wine while their backs are turned. However, subsequently, in the same episode, he used his "master carpentry skills" to create a giant mold for the John Wilkes Booth statue, exhibiting superhuman work speeds. In The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs. Santa, Jesus was also able to fire energy blasts from his hands.

His other power is that of resurrection; in "Fantastic Easter Special", he is killed multiple times and resurrects himself at will. This power is similar to Kenny's, but he is able to resurrect himself to any location he desires. Also in "Red Sleigh Down", Jesus was able to heal Santa's broken legs, suggesting he has the ability to fix broken bones.

Family

God

Jesus with God.

Jesus is the son of God. God is shown to be quite distant to Jesus because he usually has some plan to teach him. In "Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus", Jesus asks God to appear before the people of Earth for the new millennium, but God refuses. However, Jesus later realizes that this was because God wanted to teach him that he should never let pride get in the way of his good judgment and that if God did everything for everyone, there would be no point in existence.

Interactions

Santa Claus

Jesus performs a duet with Santa Claus in "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics".

Jesus has a special relationship with Santa Claus since they are both considered icons of Christmas time. Their relationship is often characterized by friction, but they usually reconcile in the end.

In The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs. Santa, the pair fought in order to decide what Christmas was really about. However, they reconciled by the end of the short after Brian Boitano imparts his wisdom upon them.

They also sing a duet in "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics". However, partway through the performance, Santa gets upset because, "There's, like, 300 Jesus Christmas songs and only four fucking Santa ones!" However, they again reconcile by the end of their performance, and join each other in singing "White Christmas".

In "Red Sleigh Down", Jesus helps the boys on a high-risk mission to rescue Santa Claus from the Iraqis, who shot him down over their airspace and are torturing him. However, the rescue mission goes awry, and Jesus dies during the mission, sacrificing himself to save Santa. At the end of the episode, Santa dedicates Christmas to the memory of Jesus.

The Boys

Jesus with the boys.

The boys, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, and Eric Cartman, have met and cooperated with Jesus on numerous occasions. In The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs. Santa, they help him find the mall and later tell both Jesus and Santa that the point of Christmas is to get along rather than fight.

In "Red Sleigh Down", Jesus joined the boys on the rescue mission to Iraq to save Santa Claus. Kyle killed Jesus in "Fantastic Easter Special", but only at the latter's behest, in order to escape from their imprisonment. Kyle was extremely reluctant, and after Jesus' violent death, he looked pretty traumatized.

Super Best Friends

Jesus with the Super Best Friends.

Jesus is depicted as the leader of the "Super Best Friends" with several other religious figures, including Muhammad, Buddha, Krishna, Joseph Smith, Lao Tse, and Moses and also Seaman who is not a religious figure of any sort but is an ineffectual superhero that is the butt of jokes from the other heroes. The group prevents the Blaintologists from committing ritual suicide in "Super Best Friends", and also work together in "200" and "201" to stop Mecha-Streisand.

Snowball

Jesus chose St. Peter, who is in fact a rabbit, to be the first Pope of Christianity because he knew no one man can lead a religion without becoming corrupt while rabbits are pure. So, he approved Peter's descendant, Snowball to be the new Pope.

Video Games

South Park Rally

Jesus in his car

Jesus is unlocked once the player wins the Christmas race.

South Park: The Stick of Truth

Jesus in South Park: The Stick Of Truth.

Jesus appears in The Stick of Truth as a summonable character in battles. In order to use him, Priest Maxi sends you to find Jesus in the church, where he is hiding, and he tells you that finding him the next time "won't be so easy". The second time you find Jesus, he is hiding behind the podium and you have to turn off the lights and focus the spotlights on the podium, revealing his shadow. You then unlock him as a summon and get him and Priest Maxi as friends. Also, if the player does this sidequest as the Jew class on the PlayStation, Xbox or PC versions of the game, they’ll get an achievement called “Are We Cool?”.

When summoned during battle, he flies down from the sky, fires two mags from an assault rifle, driving the enemies away, before putting on his shades and flying away.

South Park: The Fractured But Whole

Jesus floats from heaven towards the player after they have helped the Gay Fish's mom to enter heaven in the side mission Touch the Sky. He then asks The New Kid about their religious alignment and takes a selfie with them.

South Park: Phone Destroyer

Jesus appears in the game as a playable character. He is a 4-Cost Epic Ranged unit of the Mystical theme. When he is summoned in battle, he will heal all nearby allies, and if he dies in battle, he will revive himself once per summon.

Jesus

South Park: Snow Day!

He appears during the end of Snow Day, where he berates the boys for turning their backs on Mr. Hankey when he got cancelled, stating he really needed them and they would still not forgive him. The boys then take Jesus's response and went to apologize to Mr. Hankey.

Prominence

• The Spirit of Christmas - Fights Santa and Frosty.
• "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride" - He responds to Jimbo at Stan's football game.
• "An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig" - Mutant Stan breaks through his set.
• "Death" - Stan calls him to ask about assisted suicide.
• "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo" - Jesus is alone at his birthday party.
• "Damien" - He competes in a boxing match with Satan, which he wins.
• "Mecha-Streisand" - Jesus proclaims Robert Smith his savior.
• "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut" - Along with Father Maxi, he had an affair with Liane Cartman. But he was not seen as one of Eric's potential fathers.
• "1998 New Year's Countdown"
• "Chickenlover" - He is seen driving the car with Stan, Kyle, and Officer Barbrady.
• "The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka" - Jesus has to revamp his show, Jesus and Pals, to compete with rival show Huntin' and Killin'.
• "Spontaneous Combustion" - Jesus talks about global warming on his show.
• "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" - Sings a duet with Santa.
• "Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus" - Provides entertainment for the new millennium.
• "Probably" - Tells the boys to go to school instead of church.
• "Fat Camp" - Kenny is a guest on his last Jesus and Pals show.
• "A Very Crappy Christmas" - He is the star of the boys' Christmas short.
• "Super Best Friends" - He is the leader of the Super Best Friends.
• "Red Sleigh Down" - Goes to Iraq with the boys and dies on a mission to rescue Santa Claus.
• "The Passion of the Jew" - Kyle goes to see the movie, The Passion of the Christ, where Jews are depicted as nasty people torturing Jesus, making Kyle feel guilty for being Jewish.
• "Fantastic Easter Special" - He stops Bill Donohue from becoming the Pope.
• "Imaginationland, Episode II" - He is a member of the Council of Nine.
• "Imaginationland, Episode III" - He is a member of the Council of Nine.
• "200" - He is the leader of the Super Best Friends.
• "201" - Appears again as the leader of the Super Best Friends.
• "Butterballs" - Appears in the producer's bathroom and bullies him by threatening him with Hell.
• "A Scause For Applause" - Center of a scandal, stating that his miracles were influenced by performance-enhancing drugs.
• "Christmas Snow" - Shows up to tell Randy and Santa off for doing cocaine, but ends up trying it himself and enjoying it.
• "The Pandemic Special" - Appears on Stan's lunchbox with the other Super Best Friends including uncensored Muhammad.
• "South ParQ Vaccination Special" - Seen waiting in line outside Walgreens for a COVID-19 Vaccine.

Movies

• South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut - Appears for a moment as one of the American troops marching outside Kyle's house, wearing an army uniform but without a helmet to make room for his halo. He also appears at the military base and is seen at the back of the crowd singing at the end of the film.
• South Park: Post Covid (Mentioned alongside Santa by Stan)

Trivia

• This version of Jesus is based off of Jesus of the Roman Catholic Church and not that of Jesus from the Holy Bible. Jesus throughout history never converted out of Judaism; he died as a believing Jew.