|Age||2016 / 2019|
|Date of Birth||7 BC / 4 BC|
|Occupation||Host of Jesus n' Pals, Member of Super Best Friends|
|Voiced by||Matt Stone|
|First||The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs. Frosty|
Jesus Christ is God's son. He has appeared in many episodes. Among His various appearances, Jesus has been seen hosting His own public access television call-in show, Jesus and Pals. He is a member of the superhero group Super Best Friends.
In "Damien," Jesus has to fight a boxing match against Satan, the Prince of Darkness, after his son goes to South Park Elementary. When Jesus fights Satan, every resident of South Park believed He was sure to lose and so, they bet on Satan, resulting in only one person betting on Jesus. That person turned out to be Satan, who throws the match in order to fulfill his plan to steal the townspeople's money to buy real estate.
In "The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka", Jesus appears once again as the host of His call-in show Jesus and Pals. Unfortunately, His show is being outdone in terms of ratings by Jimbo Kern and Ned Gerblansky's show Huntin' and Killin'. In order to compete, Jesus' producer forces him to adopt a less professional style of presentation, fabricating lies in order to increase ratings. By the end of the episode, Jesus has had enough and sends His producer to Hell.
In "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics", Jesus appeared twice, once as a baby during Eric Cartman's performance of "O Holy Night", and again during His own duet with Santa, in which He performed a medley of different Christmas songs.
He was also featured in season three for South Park's millennial new years' episode, "Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus". In the episode, He is worried that for the new millennium, He may get crucified again, so He seizes the new millennium as an opportunity to do something cool. Jesus asks His Father to come down to Earth to impress everyone, but God refuses.
Instead, Jesus organizes a Rod Stewart comeback concert. When Rod Stewart can't perform, the crowd goes to crucify Jesus. Jesus sulks with Stan Marsh, who hasn't got His period yet. Jesus then realizes that God can't solve everybody's problem and that He shouldn't have asked God to help Him, which cheers up Jesus. With His lesson learned, the almighty finally does appear to the masses gathered, and tells Stan that he's a boy, and boys don't get periods.
Jesus later appears in the fifth season episode entitled "Super Best Friends", wherein Jesus and other traditional religious prophets, teachers, heroes and demigods combine forces to fight the evil magician, and head of the cult Blaintology, David Blaine. Jesus' power was master carpentry skills, and He performed His biblical miracles by asking the crowd to turn around while Jesus gets what He needs then He asks the crowd to turn back around, to see His "miracle".
In the season six finale, "Red Sleigh Down" He was killed by an Iraqi insurgent by a gunshot through the back while on a high-risk mission to rescue Santa Claus. He was not seen as an actual character since, until "Fantastic Easter Special", where He has to stop Bill Donohue from becoming Pope.
In "Cartoon Wars Part II", he was featured as a mock-cartoon character in an "Al-Qaeda" production featuring Americans defecating all over each other. The cartoon was an inflammatory retaliation against Family Guy showing an image of Muhammad.
He was also in "Imaginationland", as a member of the Council of Nine, where he and the council discussed the evil imaginary creatures attacking the good side of Imaginationland. Jesus is then seen fighting in the battle, where he is battling against an alien from the movie Alien, until Butters imagines an M-60 for Jesus, which Jesus promptly uses to help win the battle.
In "200" and "201", he appears along with the other Super Best Friends. In "201", he is seen watching porn while Buddha snorts some cocaine. However, they later get on their power cycles and move out to stop Mecha-Streisand, which they succeed in by having Krishna transform into Neil Diamond to sing a duet with her.
Jesus has long brown hair and a goatee. He usually wears a long white robe and has a halo above his head. Following his appearance in "Super Best Friends", he had a slight redesign, additions included a red sash and an updated robe. Prior to his redesign, Jesus's eyes were slightly further apart than the majority of South Park characters.
Powers and Abilities
In "Super Best Friends", Jesus initially didn't appear to have any special powers, simply tricking people with simple tricks, such as telling everyone to turn around, and then quickly replacing a jug of water with a jug of wine while their backs are turned. However, subsequently in the same episode, he used his "master carpentry skills" to create a giant mold for the John Wilkes Booth statue, exhibiting superhuman work speeds. In The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs. Santa, Jesus was also able to fire energy blasts from his hands.
His other power is that of resurrection; in "Fantastic Easter Special", he is killed multiple times and resurrects himself at will. This power is similar to Kenny's, but he is able to resurrect himself to any location he desires. Also in "Red Sleigh Down", Jesus was able to heal Santa's broken legs, suggesting he has the ability to fix broken bones.
Jesus is the Son of God. The almighty is shown to be quite distant to Jesus, because he usually has some plan to teach him. In "Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus", Jesus asks God to appear before the people of Earth for the new millennium, but God refuses. However, Jesus later realizes that this was because God wanted to teach him that he should never let pride get in the way of his good judgment, and that if God did everything for everyone, there would be no point in existence.
Jesus has a special relationship with Santa Claus, since they are both considered icons of Christmas time. Their relationship is often characterized by friction, but they usually reconcile in the end.
In The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs. Santa, the pair fought in order to decide what Christmas was really about. However, they reconciled by the end of the short after Brian Boitano imparts his wisdom upon them.
They also sing a duet in "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics". However, partway through the performance, Santa gets upset because, "There's, like, 300 Jesus Christmas songs and only four fucking Santa ones!" However, they again reconcile by the end of their performance, and join each other in singing "White Christmas".
In "Red Sleigh Down", Jesus helps the boys on a high-risk mission to rescue Santa Claus from the Iraqis, who shot him down over their airspace and are torturing him. However, the rescue mission goes awry, and Jesus dies during the mission, sacrificing himself to save Santa. At the end of the episode, Santa dedicates Christmas to the memory of Jesus.
The boys, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick and Eric Cartman, have met and cooperated with Jesus on numerous occasions. In The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs. Santa, they help him find the mall and later tell both Jesus and Santa that the point of Christmas is to get along rather than fight.
In "Red Sleigh Down", Jesus joined the boys on the rescue mission to Iraq to save Santa Claus. Kyle killed Jesus in "Fantastic Easter Special", but only at the latter's behest, in order to escape from their imprisonment. Kyle was extremely reluctant, and after Jesus' violent death, he looked pretty traumatized.
Jesus is actually "super best friends" with several other religious figures, including Muhammad, Buddha, Krishna, Joseph Smith, Lao Tse, and Moses. There's also Seaman. The group work to prevent the Blaintologists from committing ritual suicide in "Super Best Friends", and also work together in "200" and "201" to stop Mecha-Streisand.
- As of Season Sixteen, Jesus has had a speaking role in 22 episodes.
- The Spirit of Christmas - Fights Santa and Frosty.
- "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride" - At Stan's football game, responds to Jimbo.
- "An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig" - Mutant Stan breaks through his set.
- "Death" - Stan calls him to ask about assisted suicide.
- "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo" - Jesus is alone at his birthday party.
- "Damien" - He competes in a boxing match with Satan, which he wins.
- "Mecha-Streisand" - Jesus proclaims Robert Smith his savior.
- "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut" - Along with Father Maxi, he had an affair with Liane Cartman.
- "Chickenlover" - He was driving the car with Stan, Kyle and Officer Barbrady.
- "The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka" - Jesus has to revamp his show, Jesus and Pals, to compete with rival show Huntin' and Killin'.
- "Spontaneous Combustion" - Jesus talks about global warming on his show.
- South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut - Appears for a moment as one of the American troops marching outside Kyle's house, wearing an army uniform but without a helmet to make room for his halo. He also seen in the military base and finally seen at the back of the crowd singing at the end of the film.
- "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" - Sings a duet with Santa.
- "Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus" - Provides entertainment for the new millennium.
- "Probably" - Tells the boys to go to school instead of church.
- "Fat Camp" - Kenny is a guest on his last Jesus and Pals show.
- "A Very Crappy Christmas" - Star of the boy's Christmas card.
- "Super Best Friends" - Leader of the Super Best Friends.
- "Red Sleigh Down" - Goes to Iraq with the boys, and dies on a mission to rescue Santa Claus.
- "Fantastic Easter Special" - Stopped Bill Donohue from becoming the Pope.
- "Imaginationland, Episode II" - One of the Council of Nine.
- "Imaginationland, Episode III" - One of the Council of Nine.
- "200" - The leader of the Super Best Friends.
- "201" - Appears again as the leader of the Super Best Friends.
- "Butterballs" - Appears in the producer's bathroom and bullies him.
- "A Scause For Applause" - Center of a scandal, stating that his miracles were influenced by performance enhancing drugs.
Jesus appears in the Stick of Truth as a summonable character in battles. In order to use Him, Priest Maxi sends you to find Jesus in the church, where he's hiding, and he tells you that finding him the next time won't be so easy. The second time you find Jesus, he's hiding behind the podium and you have to turn off the lights and focus the spotlights on the podium, revealing his shadow. You then unlock him as a summon and get him and Priest Maxi as friends.