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Free Willzyx/Script

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Cast

  • Stan Marsh
  • Kyle Broflovski
  • Eric Cartman
  • Kenny McCormick
  • Butters Stotch
  • Clyde Donovan
  • Craig Tucker
  • Tweek Tweak
  • Token Black
  • Timmy Burch
  • Jimmy Valmer
  • Announcer Brian (voices Jambu/Willzy-x) and Partner Mike
  • Stingray Announcer
  • Denver Sea Park Owner
  • Security Guard
  • Orca Trainer Kelly
  • Denver Police Sergeant, Officers Murphy and Nelson, and other officers
  • Russian President (Putin)
  • News Anchor Tom and Field Reporter Chris
  • ALF Members and Leader
  • Mrs. Donovan, Clyde's Mother
  • Sheila Broflovski
  • Two Motorcycle Cops
  • Manuel and other members of the Mexicana Aeronáuti'co y Spacia Administración (MASA)

Script

[An aquarium at Sea Park, Denver, day. The aquarium is full of spectators in stadium seats looking on as a whale goes about its routine]
Announcer: And now, Jambu is going to going to give you all a big wave! [the whale rolls to the right and smacks one of its fins on the water, which splashes onto the audience. The crowd ooos and ahhs. A wave of water hits the boys, who are sitting in the front row.]
Cartman: I'm all wet! Sweet!
Kyle: Dude, Jambu is the best! [Jambu returns and takes a quick dive towards the bottom of its tank.]
Announcer: Now get ready for Jambu's next trick. [Jambu leaps up into the air, performs a somersault, and strikes the water with its fluke, again sending water onto the boys]
Cartman: Haha! I'm totally wet! This is awesome!!
Announcer: [shown as a brunet, with long sideburns] How about that, folks! A full body flip! And now, Kelly's gonna show us how she makes Jambu do his tricks. [a blonde woman in a wet suit steps forward, kneels down by the edge of the small dock she's on, and strikes the water three times with her hand] When Kelly slaps her hand three times, Jambu comes to her. Jambu will stay and wait until Kelly gives him a command. [she signals for him to go forward, and she dives in after him] Oh, what trick are we gonna see? Get those cameras ready! [Kelly dives and gets into position. Jambu circles the tank, then returns and pops up out of the water with Kelly on his nose. She then waves her arms signaling she's fine.] That's Kelly riding on Jambu's nose! [aside, to his blond partner in the booth] I wish Kelly would ride on my nose. [they both laugh. Jambu drops a bit and Kelly dives off his nose. Jambu splashes the crown once more.]
Cartman: Yes! Yeehehehes! [Jambu returns with Kelly on his nose as if she were a hood ornament]
Announcer: We hope you enjoyed Jambu's orca show, and enjoy the rest of your day at Denver's Sea Park! [clicks off his mic] You bunch of retards. [his partner laughs. Everyone begins to clear the small stadium]
Stan: [reading the park map] Okay, where to next?
Cartman: I think there's a sea lion show at 2:30.
Kyle: Let's just stay here and watch the whale swim around some more.
Cartman: Why?
Kyle: Dude, everyone's leaving! We can walk right up to the tank and really study him.
Cartman: Kyle, the show is over! The whale isn't gonna splash us any more, so who cares?
Stan: Let's go see the stingrays, and then we can go to the sea lion show.
Cartman: Killer. [the boys turn and leave]
Kyle: I'll meet up with you guys in a little bit. I-I wanna hang out here some more.
Cartman: Okay, Kyle. We're gonna get splashed some more, but if you wanna go make love to the whale, that's fine. [turns to catch up with Stan and Kenny. Kyle walks around the tank]
Kyle: Jambu? Jambu? [taps the glass wall four times. Jambu dives and floats up facing Kyle] Cool! It worked! Hey, Jambu.
Jambu: Hello, little boy. [Stan is awed that the whale could talk] You like my flippers?
Kyle: [a little scared, looks around] Who said that?
Jambu: I did.
Kyle: No way!
Jambu: This is very exciting! Usually when I talk, nobody can hear me. Where are you from?
Kyle: [timidly] South Park.
Jambu: It sure is nice to have somebody to talk to. Can't we talk more? Please?
Kyle: What do you wanna talk about?
Jambu: Let's talk about rocket ships.
Kyle: Rocket ships?
Jambu: [it's actually the announcer, still in his booth] Yeah. I love rockets, but I can't see them 'cause I'm stuck in this tank. [he and his partner both laugh, then he shushes his partner and returns to the mic]. You know, someday, I wish that I could go up in space in a rocket ship.
Kyle: Why? Aren't you happy here?
Jambu: I try to be, but my wish is to one day blast off in a big rocket ship!
Kyle: This is amazing! But wait right here. I've gotta go tell my friends about this! [the two men in the booth are laughing their asses off]
Jambu: Oh God, it's funny every single time. [his partner continues laughing]
[At another exhibit in the park.]
Stingray Announcer: And for those of you just joining us, this is the stingray tank. Stingrays are members of the shark family, but they're extremely peaceful creatures. We invite you to gently touch the top of them as they swim by.
Cartman: [slapping the water as a stingray approaches] Heh! Come on, stingray! [it speeds away. Another one approaches] Splash me! Ha! Hey, splash me! [it speeds away as well] Dude, these things are dumb. Let's go!
Kyle: [running up to the other boys] Hey you guys! You guys are not gonna believe this!
Stan: What?
Kyle: Dude, he talks! The orca whale talks!
Kenny: (What the fuck are you talking about?)
Kyle: I went up to Jambu's tank and I tapped three times like the trainer did. Jambu swam up and started talking to me about rocket ships! Come on! You gotta check it out! [runs back towards Jambu's exhibit, grinning]
[Jambu's exhibit, Orca Ocean.]
Kyle: Jambu! Jambu, I'm back! [hits the wall four times, and Jambu swims around, stopping in front of Kyle again] How are you feeling? [no reply. A few seconds later...] Huhm. Jambu, you wanna talk about rocket ships? [The announcer is playing a video game, his partner is reading a book - Mother Trucker.] Ja- Jambu? Are you still feelin' lonely here?
Cartman: Kyle, Kyle. Let it go, man.
Kyle: He talked! I swear to Abraham he talked, and he loves rocket ships!
Partner: [noticing the commotion] Dude, he's back, he's back! [the two men get ready]
Kyle: Goddammit, say something!
Cartman: Come on, guys, let's leave Kyle with his stupid whale.
Jambu: [Cartman stops in his tracks] Please don't call me stupid.
Kyle: Jambu! Jambu, why didn't you speak up before?
Jambu: I'm sorry. Sometimes I can't talk. It's because I'm very very sick, you see.
Kyle: Sick?
Stan: I don't believe it.
Jambu: Yes, because I'm not used to the earth atmosphere. You see, my name is actually Willzy-x, and I'm from the moon! [the announcer clicks off his mic, the partner laughs, and they both crack up]
Partner: The moon?
Jambu: The... that's where all orca whales are from. If I don't get back to the moon, I'm going to die.
Cartman: You live on the moon?
Jambu: I used to. I wish I could return and dance in the moon castle with my wife and three children again.
Kyle: Oh my God...
Stan: Why don't you just tell the people here at the sea park?
Jambu: I can't tell them, because they're evil communists from the Horsehead Nebula. They want to kill all us zypods, so they keep us in these horrible tanks and make us perform.
Kyle: That's terrible!
Partner: Dude, dude, the boss is coming!
Jambu: Uh, uh, sorry boys, I can't talk anymore. I'm too sick. [coughs] Can't. Talk. Any. More. [coughs. The boys stand there, stunned]
[Kyle's house, basement.]
Kyle: Alright guys, listen up! This may sound a little strange, but, the whale, at the Denver Sea Park, is going to die, unless we get it to the moon,
Butters: Well okay! Let's do it!
Kyle: The whale's name is Willzy-x, and he told us he's dying on our planet. We've come up wth a plan, but we're gonna need all of your help to make it work.
Clyde: ...A whale. Talked to you.
Stan: It's true. The whale talked to all of us. In between shows at his orca tank.
Craig: Hey, that whale talked to me too. After everyone left the show I walked up to the glass and he started talking.
Kyle: Weh-well, why didn't you tell anybody?
Craig: Well I thought I was crazy. He said my dad was gonna sneak into my room naked one night and beat me up.
Kyle: Well you're NOT crazy. The whale talked to all of us. And he needs our help getting him home.
Craig: ...So it's true.
Kyle: Nobody else is going to help him, you guys. We've got a chance to do something pretty special here. Are you with us?
Token: ...What do we do?
Kyle: Stan? [Stan rises and approaches the easel]
Stan: All right. In order to make our plan work, we're going to need the pool from Clyde's back yard, Timmy's wheelchair, the Russian government, and all of our skateboards.
[Denver Sea Park, night. The boys arrive at the park. A security guard whistles as he patrols the grounds. Behind him a wheelchair is heard. He pulls out a flashlight and swings it around to highlight everywhere he looks. Timmy and the gang roll by quietly, the pool riding on the skateboards.]
Timmy: [softly] Timmihhhhh... [The guard looks back just after they pass by, so he just missed them. The boys reach Jambu's tank]
Stan: Craig, Token, get the slings ready. [Cartman, Clyde, and a third boy position a ladder into place. Jambu swims over to see what's happening.]
Kyle: Shhh. Willzy-x, don't say anything. We're gonna bust you out of here.
[Denver Sea Park, morning. The announcer and his partner arrive at work]
Announcer: Dude, did you see that episode of Trading Spouses last night? That was insane. Yeah, well ha- whoa. What the hell? [people mill around by Jambu's tank. Police officers move about. The park's owner talks to the guard]
Owner: How could you not have seen anything?? It's a whale, for Christ's sake!
Guard: It must have been taken while I was going to the bathroom.
Owner: Were you in there for three hours?!
Guard: [hurt, turns away and shields himself] Don't yell at me! [the announcer and partner arrive from the booth]
Announcer: What happened?
Kelly: Somebody kidnapped Jambu, took him right out of the park.
Partner: What? How?
Guard: [raises his head up long enough to say] I DON'T KNOW!
Sergeant: All right, people, it's obvious we're dealing with a highly intelligent animal-rights group. Those bastards have done stuff like this before.
Nelson: Sir! Sir, we've found a note!
Owner: A note? Let me see that. [reads the note] We're taking Willzy-x home to the moon. Long live the zypods! [the duo instantly realize who stole Jambu] What the hell does that mean?
Sergeant: Harris, run a fingerprint on that note! [hands the note to Harris] Nelson! Find out what kind of crayon it was written with. [Nelson leaves] We'll find out who was responsible for this! [the duo know the jig isup]
[The Orca Ocean booth. The duo are inside. The announcer paces the floor]
Partner: We have to tell them! We know what those boys look like!
Announcer: We can't tell them, then they're, they're gonna think this is all our fault
Partner: It IS all our fault!
Announcer: How were we supposed to know that they were gonna actually do it?!
Partner: I shouldn't have laughed. All those times we've messed with those kids' heads, I shouldn't have just sat there and laughed.
Announcer: [grabs him by the arms] Don't you say that! It was funny! It was really funny! We've just... [lets him go] we've just gotta make this right ourselves.
Partner: How?
Announcer: We've gotta track down those kids. Before the police do!
[Moscow, day, the Kremlin. Inside, Putin and members of his staff meet in a boardroom]
Putin: Comrades, I'm afraid our situation is dire. The economy is stale and I... Very soon, Mother Russia... will no longer be a country.
Aide: Sir! Sir, somebody is on telephone! Another rich American wants to fly into space! [silence, then everyone rushes into Putin's office]
Putin: Hello? Hello, this is Russian President.
Kyle: Hi. My name's Kyle. Uh, I understand that your country flies people into space for money.
Putin: Yes, we certainly do! [holds his left thumb up for the others to see] What were you looking for?
Kyle: I need to book one trip to the moon, please. Right away.
Putin: The moon. That is quite large trip, but I'm sure we can do it!
Kyle: You can? Awesome!
Putin: It sounds like we're in business! We will just need, say, twenty million dollars?
Kyle: [lowers the phone with some disbelief] Twenty... million? [raises the phone to his ear again] Are you nuts? We don't have that kind of money.
Putin: ...What?
Kyle: But you need to understand: we have a whale here that needs to get back to his family on the moon.
Putin: Goddamnit it is prank call again! [his staff leaves] Kiss my ass, George Bush! This is not funny! [slams the phone onto the base]
Stan: What happened?
Kyle: They want twenty million dollars.
Cartman: Twenty million? Just to go to the dumb moon?
Craig: That was it? That was you guys' whole plan? Ask the Russians to take the whale to space?
Stan: They were going to do it for that 'N Sync guy.
Tweek: Oh, Jesus, now what are we gonna do?!
Kyle: All right, look, there's gotta be other Third-World countries with space programs. We've gotta split up and find someplace cheaper, that's all.
Clyde: Well we can't keep the whale out here anymore, people are gonna see it!
[Channel 4 News Break]
Anchor Tom: A beloved performing orca whale has been stolen from the Denver Sea Park. A full investigation is underway, but tracking down the kidnappers is proving to be one WHALE of a problem.
Field Reporter: Thanks, Tom, I'm here at the Denver Sea Park where, believe it or not, dozens of people have come to show support for whoever took the whale. [a crowd of protesters begin to chant]
ALF Leader: That's right. We are members of the Animal Liberation Front! Whales do not belong in tanks, they belong in the ocean! We applaud whoever did this noble deed! Set the whales free!
Protesters: Set the whales free!
Field Reporter: One thing for certain: something is certainly FISHY here at the Sea Park. Tom?
Anchor Tom: Thank, Mitch. It seems that this problem is almost un-BEAR-able. [no one says a word] Let's hope that whale is found.
[The Orca Ocean announcer and partner arrive in South Park in a truck with a tank-trailer]
Partner: This is so bad, man. How do we even know this is the right town to look in??
Announcer: Will you relax? Those kids said they were from South Park. We've just gotta go door to door. Do you have the composite sketch we did?
Partner: [holds up a sheet of paper] Yeah.
Announcer: Let's go! [they exit the truck and face the houses on one side of the street]
Partner: Maybe you should start with the houses on the left, a-and I'll take the-
Announcer: [stops him] Wait a minute. Check that out! [before them is a big pool in a backyard. The fence, which normally blocks off the view from the street, is destroyed, and tracks go through the gap all the way to the pool] Come on! [they move towards the pool and walk up the steps. The announcer grabs some crap floating on the surface and shows it to his partner] Oh my good, look!
Partner: Whale poo.
Announcer: We're close. We're really close!
Mrs. Donovan: [the sliding door opens] Can I help you?
Announcer: [drops the poo quickly and turns to face her] Oh... h-hello ma'am. We're just here to examine your pool.
Mrs. Donovan: Oh.
Partner: Have you noticed any whales in your pool at all?
Mrs. Donovan: No, I don't believe so. But we've been out of town for a couple of days and came back to find the fence broken. Do you think somebody's been using it?
Announcer: Ma'am, do you recognize any of these boys? [his partner hands her the sketch. She takes it and studies it]
Mrs. Donovan: The fat one in the middle... kinda looks like Dakota Fanning. Excuse me, gentlemen, I have to get back to the oven. [hands the sketch back to the partner]
Partner: [turns around, getting exasperated] We're too late. They've moved on to another town!
Announcer: We don't know that!
Partner: If they've moved on, then we have no leads! This is fate, Brian! It's fate! For telling the kids their naked dads were gonna beat them up! For thinking that screwing with kids was funny!
Announcer: [grabs his partner and shakes him] It WAS funny!! It was funny, Bob! And it will be funny again, I swear to you! If those boys took the whale out of here, we would have seen them on the road! I'm telling you, we're close. It's going to be funny!
[Kyle's house, day. His parents are at his bedroom door with Ike.]
Sheila: [knocks three times] Kyle bubbe, we're taking Ike to the new Harry Potter movie. Wanna join us?
Kyle: I can't, Mom. We're working on our school project.
Sheila: All right. Well, there's pizza in the fridge if you and your friends get hungry. [Gerald goes down the stairs with Ike as she speaks, then she turns away and goes down the stairs]
Kyle: Okay ma, thanks! [behind him is Jambu, and the other boys are keeping him moist]
Butters: Shouldn't we get him back in the water?
Clyde: Whales are mammals; they don't need water to breathe, dumb-ass.
Cartman: Yeah, we just have to keep him wet.
Kyle: Yes, yes, hello? Is this Mr. Su-gi-yama with the Japanese space program? [waits for the answer] How much to take a whale into space? [waits for the answer] Nu-no, we don't want you to eat the whale, we want you to send it to the moon. How much? Jesus Christ! Uh hang on. [puts Mr. Sugiyama on hold as he answers another call] Hello? Jimmy, any luck at the Chinese Embassy?
Jimmy: [with Timmy and Tweek] The Ch-Chinese will take someone to space for t-t-ten million dollars.
Kyle: Ten million?? Well that's more than the Germans want!
Jimmy: Yeah. We told them that, a-and they told us to go f-fuck ourselves.
Kyle: Damnit! [hangs up without returning to Mr. Sugiyama] Tell me what to do, Willzy-x! How do we get you home??
Cartman: He hasn't said a word since we brought him here.
Kyle: Yeah... He must be really sick. [walks up to the whale and strokes him] Hang on Willzy-x. There's still hope. Stan and Craig might still luck with the space program down in Mexico.
Clyde: Mexico has a space program?
[Somewhere in Mexico. A bus lets Stan and Craig out and leaves. Stan follows the directions on a map, and the station they're in has a neglected beauty about it. Lots of fountains, but litter as well]
Stan: Uh, 'xcuse me, we're looking for the Mexican... Aeronautica y Spacia Administrashown?
Man: Allб
Stan: Thanks. [they leave and arrive at MASA - Mexicana Aeronáuti'co y Spacia Administración] Is this the Mexican space program? [again, neglected beauty, and the place looks quite primitive for a space administration, straight out of the 1950s.]
Man 2: Space, sн. Fly.
Stan: Does the Mexican space programs have rockets that can go to the moon?
Man 2: Follow, sí, show yo. [sets down the part he was cleaning and goes inside the complex. The boys follow him] The roque lunar?
Stan: This rocket will fly to the moon?
Man 2: Sí, fly.
Stan: To the moon?
Man 2: Sí.
Stan: [enunciates] We want to take something to the moon. How much would that cost?
Man 2: O-ah... Two hundred.
Stan: Two hundred? Million?
Man 2: Two hundred... dollars.
Stan: [to Craig] Quick, call Kyle.
[The Broflovski house, day. Sheila is cleaning a lamp table next to the sofa when the doorbell rings. She goes to answer it]
Announcer: Eh hello ma'am, uh, the teacher at the school said she recognized this boy to be your son? [Sheila takes the composite sketch and looks at Kyle's image]
Sheila: Oh yes, that's my bubbe. Kind of a bad drawing though.
Announcer: Ma'am, we need to talk to your son, please! It's very urgent!
Sheila: I'm sorry, he just left. He's on his way to Mexico.
Both men: Mexico??
Sheila: Yehhs. As part of a school project, he's helping his class to move two donated grand pianos to needy school children in Tijuana. My little bubbe is very caring.
Partner: Oh my God.
Announcer: Which highway did they take??
[On the highway during the day, a truck zips along. Kenny, Clyde, Cartman, and Butters ride in the cab with the driver, Kyle is in the trailer with Willzy-x, keeping him moist with damp clothes ]
Cartman: Hurry it up, dude, we have a rocket to catch.
Kyle: Hang on, Willzy-x. Hang on, buddy.
[The highway, night. The truck keeps rolling]
Cartman: We have to hurry!
Driver: I'm going as fast as I can.
Kyle: Hang on, Willzy-x. We'll in Mexico soon!.
Butters: Oh hamburgers! What is that?? [The Denver Sea Park truck appears before them and blocks their way, so the driver stops. Brian steps out of the Sea Park truck. His partner joins him and they both stand before the Moovit truck until it stops, then they move to the driver's side door]
Brian: All right, out of the truck!
Cartman: Uh oh.
Driver: What the hell is goin' on?!
Brian: You're carrying a stolen whale!
Driver: Stolen? You kids told me you won that whale at Pizza Hut!
Clyde: We're busted. [Brian and his partner roll up the trailer and Kyle looks]
Kyle: Huh?
Brian: Come on out, kid. [the four other boys walk around Brian and stop]
Driver: Look, I didn't know nothin' about this.
Brian: Just help us get the whale into our truck and we'll all keep quiet about this.
Kyle: You don't understand! Willzy-x is from the moon! He'll die if we don't get him back, now! Willzy-x, you have to talk! Come on boy, you have to! I know you're sick, but you could do it!
Partner: Look, kid, we need to tell you a little secret. [a bright light comes on and a police siren sounds. They all turn to see who it is. Two motorcycle cops get off their bikes.]
Cop 1: What's goin' on here??
Brian: Aw crap.
Butters: Oh, now we're gonna get it.
Cop 1: Hey... That's the stolen whale!
Cop 2: Everyone down on the ground. Now!
Kyle: No! Please, we have to go!
Cop 2: You're not goin' anywhere! You're in a lot of trouble! [the first cop starts making arrests]
Kyle: But... we were so close... I'm sorry, Willzy-x. We tried.
Cop 1: We said down on the ground, kid. Move it! [three gunshots come out of nowhere, and everyone turns to see whom it could be now.]
ALF Leader: Leave those kids alone, you bastards! Animal Liberation Front! [the ALF members growl]
Cop 1: Put down that weapon, now!
ALF Leader: These boys are trying to get that whale home! You're not gonna stop them!
Kyle: All right!!
The Other Boys: Yes! Wow!
Cop 2: That whale belongs to a sea park!
Kyle: It belongs with its family!
ALF Member: That's right!
Cop 1: I said drop the gun NOW!
ALF Leader: Save the whale! [fires her gun and charges. The other ALF members charge and fire as well. Cop 2 is hit and falls. Cop 1 fires back. The boys hide behind the Moovit! truck]
Partner: Jesus, Oh God! [he's soon riddled with bullet holes and falls over]
ALF Member: Save the whales, motherfucker!
ALF Leader: [fires a few more rounds over the boys' heads as she positions herself behind them] Where are you taking the whale?
Kyle: Tijuana, Mexico!
ALF Leader: Of course. Brilliant! Release it in international waters. I'll drive the truck. [she and the boys get into the cab, Kyle stays in the trailer with the whale]
Kyle: You're going home, Willzy-x! [the truck drives away, and Brian crawls over to his partner]
Brian: Mike? Mike??
Mike: [still has enough life in him to cough and say] It... wasn't... funny...
Brian: Don't say that, Mike. It was funny. It just wasn't that funny this time. [Mike's head drops] All the other times were still funny, Mike! They were still funny!!
Cop 1: [crawls to his bike and grabs a radio] Forty-five to dispatch... Stolen whale... heading to Tijuana... Whaaale to Tijuana!! [falls]
[MASA, night. Workers get the rocket to the moon ready. They connect chains to the body]
Worker 1: Conecte la segunda cadena. ["Connect the second chain."]
Worker 2: No sé si va a llegar. ["I don't know if it'll reach."]
Stan: They're on their way, Manuel. Is the rocket gonna be ready?
Manuel: Sн, fly.
[The highway, night. The Moovit! truck is now accompanied by an ALF van]
Butters: Look! The Mexican border!
Clyde: Oh Jesus, they're here! [the Denver cops are right there with the border guard]
Sergeant: Hold your positions! [a police helicopter comes down. The owner of the sea park and the orca trainers step down from it, along with the security guard]
Owner: Aha! We've got them!
ALF Leader: Hang on, boys.
Owner: Mary Mother of God! [the Moovit! truck barrels through the helicopter and blockade. Everyone in the way jumps out of the way. The Moovit! truck is now in Mexico]
Sergeant: [lying face down, points at the truck] Get them!
[MASA, later. The Moovit! truck rolls in]
Kyle: Willzy-x, I think we're here.
Stan: [to the ALF leader] Back down the ramp! It's all rigged to go!
ALF Leader: You got it, kid! [makes a quick right, then backs up left and towards the end of the dock]
Owner: [arriving at MASA with the guard and trainers] Don't let them get that whale in the water! [Kyle rolls open the trailer door]
Stan: Kyle, it's all set to go! [the ALF van rolls in] Just get Willzy-x into the water! [some ALF officers emerge from the van.]
Kyle: Come on, guys! [Craig, Clyde, Kenny, Butters, and Cartman show up. Clyde and Kenny jump up and pull the ramp down]
Owner: [starts to run in with the guard and trainers] Stop right now!
ALF Leader: Hurry, boys! We'll take care of them! [The zoo personnel and the ALF face off, with the ALF landing the first blows. Kelly goes down like a statue. At the dock, the boys struggle to move Willzy-x into the water]
Kyle: Hang on. [looks around] Hold on a second. [steps down into the water and addresses Willzy-x] I gues... I... guess... this is... goodbye, Willzy-x. [the whale opens his mouth. Kyle begins to tear up] I'm gonna miss you. [Butters and Clyde tear up and look at each other] Hey, don't forget me, okay? I won't forget you. [sniffs a bit, then pets the whale.]
Cartman: Oh crap! There's more of them! [police cruisers pour in and officers pour out of them]
Kyle: Get him in the water! [the boys pull Willzy-x once more, with a mighty pull] Goodbye, Willzy-x! [the whale takes to the water and the ALF cheers a job well done]
ALF Leader: Swim, mighty whale! You're free!
Stan: Okay, Manuel, hit it. [Manuel presses the launch button]
Owner: [advances with the guard and police] Stop! That is my whale!
ALF Leader: I'm afraid you're too late! The whale's been set free.
Owner: No!
ALF Leader: Now you see that your ways of captivity and exploiting animals will never prevail. [behind her, a rocket rises into launch position] Not as long as there are children like these who still believe in the beauty and magic of freedom. [The park owner, guard, police, and now FBI gawk at her, or at the rocket behind her.] For it is children, with their innocence and their spirit, who know what is truly best for all the world.
[the rocket is now in position. The rocket powers up and now she hears it. She and the ALF turn to see the rocket rise out of its base. Behind it are the chains, attached to a sling below water holding Willzy-x. The chains tighten and lift Willzy-x up and away. The boys grin big]
ALF Leader: Oh my God!
Kyle: We did it!
[the boys cheer, congratulate each other, and dance. The Mexican launch crew does so as well. A mariachi band appears out of nowhere for the celebration and plays the Mexican anthem. On the US side of the border, Brian looks up to see the rocket rise into space with Willzy-x trailing along in the sling. He laughs weakly.]
[South Park, night. Manuel has driven the boys back to town in the Moovit! truck and lets them off in their neighborhood]
Stan: Thanks for the ride, Manuel.
Manuel: Sн, bye. [closes the door and drives off]
Butters: Well, see ya, fella. Uh I've gotta get home before my parents wake up.
Clyde: Yeah, me too. [Craig goes off as well]
Kyle: All right. Thanks for your help, dudes. [the boys walk towards Kyle's house, but Kyle stops] Well, we did it, guys. It wasn't easy, but... we did a really amazing thing.
Cartman: Yeah, I feel pretty awesome right now. [Stan looks at the sky and steps forward. The other boys join him. Before them, up in the sky, is the full moon, bright and nicely detailed]
Stan: I wonder... if he'll ever come back and visit us.
Kyle: I don't know, but at least from now on, every time we look at the moon, we can know that Willzy-x is up there, dancing with the other zypods in his castle.
[A shot of the moon, with the Earth in the distance. On the ground lies Willzy-x, motionless]
[End of Free Willzyx.]



  913: "Free Willzyx" edit
Story Elements

JambuMexicoAnimal Liberation Front

Media

ImagesScriptWatch Episode

Release

South Park: The Complete Ninth Season

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