The episode opens with Stan Marsh, Cartman, and Kenny joking around in Church, and the priest Father Maxi, warning them that they will be damned if they don’t embrace their religious values more. They begin attending Sunday School classes with a nun named Sister Anne, who teaches them about Communion and confession. Unfortunately, the children become confused, thinking Jesus was made of crackers, and eating crackers and drinking wine is enough to stop them from going to hell. The boys do their first confessions, during which Cartman tells them that while he was in the confessional making his confessions, God’s vengeful arm reached out, grabbed him, and shook him about (which was actually Father Maxi, enraged upon finding out that Cartman was the one who had done all those terrible things to him in the past), and the children get more scared than ever before.
The children notice that Kyle and Timmy cannot confess their sins, as Kyle is Jewish and Timmy being disabled, can say little more than his own name. Father Maxi guarantees them that these boys will go to Hell if they are unable to confess their sins much to the distress of the Sunday school teacher. The boys then try to help Kyle, Ike and Timmy by baptizing them. However, when Cartman says "ass" causing Stan and Kenny to also swear, they rush off to confess their latest sins for fear of going to hell. The end up running into several other frightened kids, also fearful of hell. As they attempt to cross the street, Kenny is run down by a bus headed to Mexico, causing the kids to become even more afraid of dying with sins unconfessed. As it happens, when they get to the Church, they catch the priest having sex with a woman named Mrs. Donovan in the confessional. Horrified by this sudden display of sinfulness, they break out of their church, and Cartman begins directing the children to the creation of a new Christian community, which he himself is leading.
In the subplot, Satan's love-life is going through a crisis, as his ex-boyfriend, Saddam Hussein is butting in on his new relationship with Chris, an overly sensitive man. Satan realizes that he still finds Saddam attractive, despite all the abuse he received from him when they were dating, and he tries to decide which man he would rather be with. He even consults one of the smaller, more obnoxious demons for advice, but gets nowhere.