Cartman has a new protege. He's found someone who is smart, ambitious and willing to look the other way in order to get to the top. Kyle is brought in on the ground floor of Cartman's latest business venture, the Crack Baby Athletic Association.
Stan and Kyle are watching a Buddhist-themed Terrance and Phillip episode until a commercial featuring Sarah McLachlan about babies addicted to crack comes on that is so sad that it sways Kyle to go to Colorado Medical Center to volunteer. He is about to start helping crack babies there, but he finds that Cartman is also volunteering. Kyle follows him and sees that he, Craig, Clyde, and Butters have gathered together to form a new business which takes crack addicted babies and makes them fight each other for a ball of crack. At first, Kyle is shocked and horrified at what Cartman has done, but the money causes Kyle to see it Cartman's way work and with him. While Craig and Clyde struggle to find the musician Slash to get him to play halftime at an upcoming game, the group prepare to cut a deal with EA Sports for a video game based upon their sport. Kyle convinces Cartman to spend the money from the deal on a state-of-the-art orphanage for the crack babies, but EA Sports screws the group out of the entire business and refuses to pay them anything.
This is made worse with the revelation that Slash is a make-believe character based on a Dutch legend named Vünter Slauche. However, there is some evidence at the end of the episode that suggests Slash is real and that he used his money to build the orphanage for Kyle, reaffirming the boys' (excluding Kenny) faith in Slash.