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After Eric Cartman fakes Tourette's Syndrome, he writes to Dateline's Chris Hansen to do a show about his 'illness', with the intent of simply spouting off as many hateful and politically incorrect things as he can think of. Hansen agrees to the idea, switching from catching pedophiles to talking about Tourette's. However, when Cartman truly begins to lose control of what he's able to say and not say, he goes to Hansen to call off the show, and attempts to leave. Hansen stops him by simply saying his catchphrase "Have a seat", which seems to result in a low-level mind-control, forcing Cartman to do just that. Hansen then informs Cartman that he will do the show by commenting on how during "To Catch a Predator", they had a pedophile (named Louis Conradt, real life story) who refused to do the show and then "Shot himself". Hansen says that unless Cartman does the show, he might end up "Shooting himself" like the pedophile. This results in Cartman urinating in his pants in fear.
The show starts, but before Cartman can be brought out, a massive group of pedophiles (sent there by Kyle and Thomas) arrive and, upon seeing Hansen, begin to shoot themselves in the head. Hansen rushes out to find Thomas, and accuses him of being the cause of the shootings. He attempts to use his "have a seat" saying on the boy, who is immune and shouts profanities back at Hansen who cries out "I'm telling" as he runs off.
The only time Chris Hansen appears again on the show was Britney's New Look, where he watched Britneys terrible opening performance.
Chris Hansen has combed light brown hair and trimmed, light brown eyebrows. He wears a black suit with a teal shirt and a blue tie.
|Minor Characters from Season Eleven|
| Allison | Angelina Jolie | Baahir Hassan Abdul Hakeem | Bill Donohue | Bono | Bradley | Chris Hansen | Dr. David Nelson | Mr. Donaldson | Glen | Hare Club for Men | Hillary Clinton | Jake Jabs | Jay Cutler | Kelly Mayfield | Mayor of Imaginationland | Nelly | Patty Nelson | Pope Benedict XVI | Professor Teabag | Queen Elizabeth II | Ron Zappolo | Thad | Thomas | Travis Mayfield | The Ugly Kids |