Captain Diabetes is the superhero alter-ego of Scott Malkinson. His first appearance is set to be in the upcoming video game South Park: The Fractured but Whole.

South Park: The Fractured But Whole

He sides with The Coon, Human KiteMosquitoSuper Craig and Fastpass.[1]

Official Ally Description

Scott Malkinson calls upon the devastating power of diabetes as Captain Diabetes. Brutalist archetype combining punishing melee knockback moves with an annoying desire to hang out. FYI, has diabetes.


Captain Diabetes is a Brutalist.

Beginning with his ultimate, his in-game powers are listed below, with their official names and descriptions.

  • High-Fructose Death Wave - Brutalize and knock back a column of foes.
  • Coma Combo - Brutal double-punch with knockback.
  • Sugar Rush - Dash attack that also grants Protection.
  • Insulin Shock - Knock back and Slow foes, gain Protection.

Battle Quotes

  • "Insulin Shock!"
  • "You've got this, Butthole!"
  • "Hell yes!"
  • "Butthole's busting some butts!"
  • "Back off!"
  • "Insulin flows through me!"
  • "Leave our friend alone, fiend!"
  • "Hah! These guys are no match for us!"
  • "Diabetic Rage!"
  • "Diabetes Rage!"
  • "Nice one, New Kid!"
  • "I'm not responsible for what happens next!"
  • "Yeah!"
  • "Take this!"
  • "Time to crash!"
  • "The nerve of that villain!"
  • "Sugar Rush!"
  • "Sugar Ruuuuuuussh!"
  • "Diabetes coming through!"
  • "That's it!"
  • "Oh, shit!"
  • "Smash!"
  • "Hey!"
  • "Upsy-daisy!"
  • "Surf's up!"
  • "Well struck, combatant! But Diabetes will prevail!"
  • "Maybe we can be pals after you check out of the E.R..."
  • "Don't you know how to read a room? Next time leave before things get awkward."
  • "Say, you've put on some weight."
  • "You're no match for Captain Diabetes and his trusty Sidekick!"
  • "Watch and learn, Sidekick!"
  • "You can't stand up to my trusty Sidekick!"
  • "Nice form, Sidekick! Direct, and no nonsense.
  • "Stand back, Sidekick! I'll take care of this!"
  • "Well struck, Sidekick!"
  • "That's my Sidekick!"
  • "Take them down, Sidekick!"
  • "I'll hold them off, Sidekick!"
  • "Get them, Sidekick!"
  • "That's it, Sidekick!"
  • "Go on Sidekick! Kick their ass!"
  • "Hey! Didn't your parents teach you not to hit strippers?"
  • "Give up, stinky man. It's two against one now!"
  • "Let's hear you complain about your lap-dance now!"


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