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The 19th Annual Cable ACE Awards 1997 was a South Park short created for the CableACE Awards of 1997.
- Charles Grodin: The Charles Grodin Show, CNBC.
- James Lipton: Inside The Actors Studio, Bravo Cable Network.
- Various NBC News Commentators: InterNight, MSNBC
- Larry King: Larry King Live, CNN.
- Bill Maher: Politically Incorrect, Comedy Central.
Throughout the presentation, the boys complain about the cheapness of the ACE awards during the previous non-televised night, by saying it was general admission, they had to pack their own dinners, and the prize for winning best animation series was a 5 Dollar gift certificate to Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles . Kenny reads the winning nominee in a muffled voice which was translated by Stan as Inside The Actors Studio Bravo Cable Network. They all clap at the end and nothing bad happens to Kenny.
- This was the last year of the Cable Ace Awards.
- Stan Marsh
- Kyle Broflovski
- Eric Cartman
- Kenny McCormick
|[A stage. Sela Ward is speaking]|
|Sela Ward:||Here are Stan, Kyle, Cartman [cheers and applause rise up from the audience] and the most eloquent of them all, Kenny. [looks off to her left. Cut to a construction-paper stage. Stan and Cartman enter from screen left, Kyle and Kenny from screen right. They line up abreast behind a little podium]|
|Stan:||Whoa, dude! Sela Ward is hot!|
|Kenny:||(Yeah, I'd pinch her to get in trouble) [the others laugh]|
|Stan:||Yeah. I would, too.|
|Kyle:||Tonight, we are here to present the award for Best Talk Show Series.|
|Cartman:||Ey! Wait a minute!|
|Cartman:||This doesn't look anything like last night's Cable Ace Awards! Everything's all fancy!|
|Stan:||That's because we were on last night, Cartman, when they did the non-televised awards for little, unimportant shows like ours.|
|Cartman:||What do you mean?! Why were we on last night?!|
|Stan:||Dude, it was the same as tonight, except that we had general-admission seating, and had to pack our own dinners.|
|Kyle:||Yeah. And instead of an actual award, people received a $5 gift certificate at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.|
|Cartman:||That sucks! Who's in charge here?!|
|Stan:||Anyway, the nominees for Best Talk Show series are-|
|Cartman:||No! Everybody, just? hold on a minute!|
|Stan:||Will you shut your fat mouth for five seconds, Cartman, so we can do this?!|
|Kyle:||Shut up, Cartman!|
|Stan:||Anyway, the Best Talk Show nominees are?|
|Kyle:||[displays a picture of the first nominee] Charles Grodin, CNBC.|
|Cartman:||[displays a picture of the second nominee] Inside the Actors Studio, Bravo Cable Network.|
|Stan:||[displays a picture of the third nominee] Internight, MSNBC.|
|Cartman:||[displays a picture of the fourth nominee] Larry King Live, CNN.|
|Kyle:||[displays a picture of the fifth nominee] And Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher, on Comedy-ee Cen-tral.|
|Stan:||And the winner is?|
|Kyle:||Now, remember: there are no losers at the Cable Ace Awards, only people who are less likely to have another season.|
|Stan:||Yeah. [the audience laughs] And the winner is?|
|Kenny:||[opens an envelope] (Inside the Actors Studio, Bravo Cable Network.)|
|Stan:||Oohhhh, huh, [he and Kyle start clapping] heh-heh-heh-hehh. [Cartman starts clapping]|
|Cartman:||Yes. Very nice, very nice.|
|Stan:||[steps forward] Oh. He said the winner is Inside the Actors Studio, Bravo Cable Network.|
|[End of Cable ACE Awards 1997.]|
- South Park at The CableACE Awards (YouTube)